June

The first two weeks of June find me in Australia. Seems like a dern fool thing to do after being gone for three months but I’m chasing a dream and there’s no time for pleasantries. Initially I thought I’d leave Shreveport for Australia in the early or mid part of the shoot but I’d simply forgotten how a production devours you. Completely. Your mind, body and soul. So after only two weeks at home I caught a fifteen hour flight to the land down under.

Why Australia?

I met Kerri Grisham thru Betsy Rue (my more than naked partner in crime from MBV) and Harry Manfredini (the true voice of Jason Voorhees). Kerri had an idea for a screenplay. Oh bother. Wish I had a dime for every time I heard that. BUT. She had more than just an idea, she had a business plan to get the thing made. And that’s the part that won me over. We bantered back and forth via email for ages and in the end I told her, while I could write the story in my sleep, I was never gonna be able to fake the Australian stuff. So she suggested we go. We’d meet with companies and vendors and fact find and research all in one big bloody Mary pass.

Of course, Patrick and I would co-write the piece. And in a perfect world he’d direct but that woudl depend on schedule. Due to the Drive Angry buzz, we were and still are finding ourselves busier than normal.

So. First things first. Australia is different.

For instance. Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to McDonalds.

Food is bland in Australia. Hate to be a pecker about it but that’s the clearest way to put it. That said, food is better for you. Not as many additives. Not as many spices. Not as much science. Folks on the average are in better shape as a result.

Everyone drives on the wrong side of the road.

And the sky is bigger.

Everything is bigger.

We stayed with Kath and J.A. and Porter the Cat. The cat was not named after Porter Wagoner. And that is likely the wrong spelling. Named after a character Eric Bana played.

Eric Bana’s name came up often. More than often. Hourly. Aussies are very proud of Aussies. While all American television and movies make their way down under, the topics of conversation center on the actors and crew from Australia. And there are many. More than you’d realize. It’s because Americans are…well…I’m not sure if we’re self-centered or if we just don’t care where you’re from. Perhaps a bit of both. I know for me, I don’t care where you are from as long as you can act, hold the camera or adjust the lighting. I personally don’t care what color you are or what what god you call home. Do your job and don’t annoy me. And we’ll get along just fine.

The trip consisted of meetings. Lots and lots of meetings. Enough to wake my sleeping A.D.D. and have it screaming. We had interviews with local Australian media. We met with companies to discuss product placement.

We had several meetings with Village Roadshow (the Warner part has been dropped). We also met with producer, Michael Lake, who has joined forces with us on this great adventure.

I attempted to run while there. But it wasn’t easy. I’m convinced running upside down is bad for you. Suddenly I was using completely different muscles. I felt heavier. And that dog HATED me. He wanted so desperately to eat my spleen. Every day that hole was bigger. I knew that we would eventually meet. And I had made my peace with the coming battle. While it is true I am a dog lover, this little snot was purely of the devil and I planned on kicking his doggie ass. But alas, one day when I ran by, the hole had been filled and my enemy had gone silent. We never met and I fill extremely unfulfilled. As if Return of the Jedi never happened.

So between meetings and running we visited dozens and dozens of locations so that I could simply people watch.

And People are different. At first glance you would think Aussies are a violent, angry bunch. I cuss. It’s a tool in my work and I’m good at it. But I’m a child compared to the average Aussie. Someone pulls out in front of you and it’s, “For fuck’s sake…” and what follows is a rant of epic proportions. You see an old friend and it’s, “Get fucked you fucking slut!” So no. Aussie’s aren’t a violent, angry bunch. They just a rude bunch of loving bastards.

Aussie’s don’t talk the way we think they talk. There’s is no, “Throw another shrimp on the barbie.” Aussie’s don’t use the word “shrimp”. They use prawns. Therefore your stereotyping is based on a lie, rest-of-the-world.

While there though, I did very much enjoy the meat pie.

I did not, however, enjoy the Kangaroo. Kind of chewy.

All in all, the trip was good. Accomplished waaaay more than I ever thought we actually would and even had a moment or two for some down time…albeit, perhaps not the downtime I would have chosen.

You see…Kath and J.A. kept bringing home new and interesting movies to watch. Jason X was, as it has always been…tough for me to watch. But I was reminded how much I really loved both MBV and Messengers II. I was particularly intrigued by the Aussie packaging which included Jensen, Jaime and Kerr on the cover. As it should be, I thought.

The biggest difference that leapt out at me was the pissers. The above pisser is smack dab in the center of a pub filled with drunken men’s men and the women that beat the hell out of them. And yet…it was remarkably clean. You can go into a fancy schmancy restaurant in the States and 9 out of 10 times the men’s restroom floor will be covered in piss, toilet paper and on occasion a big ol’ misplaced dump.

It became an obsession. Everywhere we went I had to visit the potties. And every single time the place was spotless. Please explain to me how the most powerful (and I’m told richest) country on the planet is made up of men who consider pissing on the floor tolerable. Americans are dirty. And not in the good way like the girl who rubs honey on her headlights.

Of course, not everything in Australia is awesome.

Certainly AT&T blows even in Australia and they’re not even there. Even with the international plan, you are essentially still paying AT&T’s rate as well as an inflated charge for daring to leave their coverage in addition to paying the local coverage. A call back to the states or from the states would cost me a couple bucks a minute. Even texts were pricy. I explained to my friend, Dean Lorey, that if he texted me, be aware that each text would cost 50 cents.

And on the business side…I’ve been debating whether or not to bring this up. Hrm. I will be delicate. Kerri’s story contained some indigenous content. The story would deal with Aboriginal legend. And this, in Australia, is VERY political. I could sort of relate because the U.S. took its land from the Indian. Australia took its land from the Aboriginal. In American the Indians were given worthless plots of land to live on together as payment. In Australia, if I understand correctly, the government will give an Aboriginal person a house. In some cases the Aboriginal person can simply stake claim to any house or plot of land. And in some areas Aboriginal children were taken from their families and placed within white homes. The latter is apparently the biggest cause of tension. And to say there’s some tension between white and black is an understatement.

There are hard feelings on both sides of the fence and I really struggled with this. We’re talking about the country the size of America with a population the size of Orange County. Seems like there’s plenty of room. But…none of my business I suppose.

However…in order to tell a story with Aboriginal content we were going to need an Aboriginal Consultant.

I spent considerable time with our consultant and his Aboriginal family. I listened to their stories. I watched them dance. And looked at their art. All very sacred to them. And I have to say, Political land mines aside, I was very intrigued by what I saw and heard. I could feel this turning into an epic little story.

And then it was time to leave.

Warm goodbyes to Kath and J.A. for taking good care of us. And it was off to the airport.

The flight back was longer. There were some issues which resulted in my having to jump to New Zealand. That and I had pounded away some vodka for the initial flight over which resulted in my being unconscious for ten hours. Not the case on the return. I was wedged between two sleepers and far too sober to sleep myself. But…such is the life of a Hollywood playboy.

Eventually I made it home to my little girl and ate some pasta. As mentioned in previous posts, week two into Drive Angry Izzie was diagnosed with Autism. Granted it’s not severe but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been challenges. The great thing is that Momma pulled the team of Jedi together to begin extensive training. And wow could I see a difference. Izzie was advancing leaps and bounds. Her Jedi skills were astounding.

Still, Izzie Rain will never be a “let the wookie win” kind of girl. She’ll be the one to rip the wookie’s limbs off

Which brings me to today in which her momma texted to inform me that Izzie had found a blue permanent marker. When I replied “How bad?” I got crickets. So I walked down the street to a pure OMG moment. Her face, hands and legs were mostly blue. She’d also attacked the carpet with said pen. Nana was scrubbing Izzie and Mel was curled up on the floor attacking the carpet. I took over with Izzie and dunked her in the tub for awhile.

Anyway, that was today. We’re talking about June.

And back in June it was good to be home.

I walked in to find a present from Mark Wheaton. His previous four shorts, which sold via the Kindle, he had self published. I love his writing. I highly recommend you Amazon the book. And then grab all his shorts as they come out. You really can’t go wrong for 99 cents.

On the 16th I registered for Comic Con. Late. Thank you Heather from Pro Registration and Nic Cage for allowing me to name drop.

It was also nice to just sit back down at the computer and start pounding on the keyboard. While there I found an old email from Adam Ward, Drive Angry’s B Camera operator. While in Australia Adam had sent a couple hundred pics from the shoot. This was the first time I had a chance to check them all out.

Looking back thru these old pics reminded me of the journey and how freaking awesome our cast and crew was.

I have praised Nic, Amber Bill and Billy. I’ve praised David Morse and Tom Atkins.

But what about the nameless? And by nameless I mean those who normally don’t get a name in a script. I’d like to think even the smallest part is written with some juice. And it’s true. But the right actor can take a small part and make it stand out. Like Leather Jacket. James Herbert’s attitude and acting had us giving him more lines. More scenes. He goes from henchman to Billy Burke’s sidekick. Christa Campbell, adored by the horror community, is part what I consider one of the most important scenes in the movie and she nails it. Man With Wig. That’s a character you’d lose after you see him. But not in the hands of Kenneth Wayne Bradley. Bryan Massey and Tim Walter were so good they walked away with actual character names rather than Officer #1 and #2. Playing Nic’s daughter, Arianne Martin is so strong in her role that we actually made changes in the story to accommodate. Jamie Teer does more with not a single line of dialog than most actors do yacking nonstop their entire career. I could go on and on and will in later posts but off the top of my head these jumped out.

I’v mentioned producer Craig Perry in the past. Back during MBV’s shoot we were aware of Final Destination shooting in 3D as well. And we were thrilled. We, after all, thought if we both did well then there might be a future to this whole 3D thing. Then we read an interview with Craig in which he said our movie would be a dry heave with nothing but gimmicks. Later I busted his balls about this and he took it like a man. Since then we actually chat quite often. Back in June he asked what I thought of Brian Pearson as a 3D DP. I told him as far as I was concerned Brian was the only 3D DP in the business. Craig hired him for the next Final Destination and I couldn’t be happier.

This is Glenn. Glenn Neufeld is a Visual Effects supergenius. Glenn built the Defiant. Designed, engineered, built. Only the greatest Star Trek vessel ever created. And Glenn is now on our team. One of the Beatles. Overseeing all the VFX love needed to bring Drive Angry screaming into the theaters.

If we jump to the end of August to talk about current events, here’s where we stand. I’ve seen a half dozen cuts and each one gets better and better. The movie is awesome. Currently the glorious Michael Wandmacher is in the process of scoring. I’m heard half the score and love it. Another of the Beatles. I write to his MBV and Piranha soundtracks daily. Drive Angry will soon be added to the mix.

Next month we travel North to Skywalker Ranch to lay in the gnarly sounds that only team Skywalker can produce. It’ll be most of the MBV Skywalker crew back together again. More details on that as we get there.

Three events are worth noting for the end of June.

One, Billy Burke’s CD came in the mail. Billy had gifted Patrick and I three early cuts back during the shoot and I’d made them a permanent part of my rotation. Burke really is the real deal. He was a musician long before he was an actor and it’s clear. Sort of feels like a family thing since the video for Removed was shot in Shreveport. The CD cover was designed by our own assistant editor, Martin Bernfeld (recall Martin loaned me his car at 5am so that I could venture to Memphis to see my baby girl for Easter). Martin is good people. He’s also Danish. Thus, if you haven’t, you should check out Burke’s CD on iTunes or grab a hard copy from CD Baby.

Two…I found the perfect house. Right up the street from Mel and Nana. The previous couple moved out at the end of the month so July would consist of moving and the long ordeal of getting settled. Ah, the exciting rock-n-roll lifestyle of the mundane.

And finally my good friend Dean would be working on the next Mitch Hurwitz (Arrested Development) TV show.

I currently hear from Dean, or at least he attempts to call, every morning and every night. He’s pretty much 7 days a week, 12 plus hour days.

The show is called Running Wilde with Will Arnett and Keri Russell and the buzz on it is great.

Above is a picture of me biting Dean’s head.

So. Wonder how fast I could bang out July? Could I actually get to August before the…end of August?

But not right now. Right now I’m gonna go get a tank of gas, clean my grill and cook some bird.

No one’s gonna take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
— Muse