We interrupt 10 years of wendago to discuss Rikki Bjorn Farmer. That’s right, Bjorn. Like the dude from ABBA. Or the Borg. The tennis player. Not the pseudo-race of cybernetic organisms depicted in Star Trek.
So this morning, Rikki texts me a picture. Asks if I know how to post to Facebook. I get a little lightheaded from the possible responses to said question. He says, “Kendra and I thought it would be funny to see what kind of comments would be posted. Got to have fun with it.” Which made me smile.
We at Team Farmer have never been very good at hiding our misery. Or living under a woe is me rock. This is it. Life. You make the best of it. The good and the bad.
I ask if he wants me to just post the pic or would he like me to comment in that special and possibly offensive way that the Farmers are known for. He says he wants to let people know we are in good spirits.
And by the way, we were texting all of this. Because as everyone knows it is far better to text in an hour what you could say in 5 minute over the phone. I text back to him, “Okay, I’m on it. But first… tell me what I’m looking at.”
He replies, “Those are button caps for the machine that attaches to my head for the bone saw and needle.”
To this I reply, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!”
Alright. I guess this has been more than enough build up. I may as well just say it and get it out there. At the ripe old age of 32, my little brother has…genital herpes.
No no no. He does not have an STD. He has… well, he could have an STD. I mean, he’s never mentioned one way or the other. But while we at Team Farmer pretty much share everything online, an STD we would likely not go wide with. Probably just announce that on Twitter. See if it goes viral. Where was I? O yeah.
Rikki has cancer.
Sadly this isn’t the first time he’s been under the bone saw. In 2002 at the blistering age of 23, he had a tumor the size of a golf ball removed. In ’07 they went back in to tidy up a bit. And now it’s back. Roughly a ping pong ball which is a little smaller than a Titleist.
Tomorrow is Biopsy or as we at Team Farmer like to call it, “Bone Saw Day”. Or as Rikki puts it, “Yup. 5:30am. Can’t wait.”
Then we’ll be in a holding pattern. Waiting to find out what sort of fight lies ahead. I’m hoping the crack the lid, take a peek and determine that it’s just irritable bowel syndrom. Which would NOT surprise me. I never told him this but when we lived in West Oaks and he slept on the top bunk, the kid was constantly breaking sleep farts.
So, let’s see. Cancer, the Borg, STDs and farts. I think that covers everything.
Of course, if you are on speaking terms with your God then I’m sure Rikki and Kendra wouldn’t mind the mention. As for me, I’ll welcome Voodoo, magic, sorcery, Amway, anything that might help. :)
5 replies on “Bonehead and the Bone Saw”
My thoughts are with you and your family. I’m into alternative sources, so I can’t say for sure where my prayers might go, but they are heart felt. Given the situation your brother is in yet again, sure makes my issues seem like a schoolyard fight. Sending hugs down to y’all. J
Just had to put my dog WESLEY down had tumors all over him. Hope RIKKI makes it through..
Your little brother’s hot. I’d do him. I’m sure he’ll be fine but I’m sending some positive energy anyway.
My grandpa recently past away from LUNG cancer, a drunk driver hit him in a car, broke his ribs the DOCTORS couldn’t preform on him cause the cancer was so bad he ended up passing away before he was suppose to because of it… My heart goes out to you an your family hope all goes well…
I’m unaffiliated at the moment but I’ll pick paganism from my past repertoire of belief systems and ask the Earth Mother to send healing energy. But he has to stop wearing that coat made of Ewok fur.