Month: December 2004

We are off to the southern states, shoes and intellect optional.
More on the trip as it unfolds.

Thanksgiving at the Loreys was filling as expected. The usual crew was there with the addition of Jimmy, Maggie, JP and his wife. We stuffed ourselves then Dean kicked everyone out so the three of us could log on to Warcraft.

I saw a deer fart this week.
On the work front…
I met with Goldstein and we discussed ideas. I mentioned the whole “Riddle Me This” lapsed option thing and told him I was thinking about spinning it into a one-hour procedural for the world of TV. This clearly excited him. Riddle was the first of my scripts he’d read. As a matter of fact he was the guy who introduced me to my agent. Good man, he is.

Mel and I killed us a female winged creature.

And I found myself oddly attracted to her corpse.
Goldstein met with Fox after our meeting and told them my little idea for a procedural and they loved it. They read a copy of “Riddle Me This” last night and want to meet to discuss. After the New Year.

A typical night out with the guild.
So with Fox liking “Riddle Me This” it puts me in something of a bind. The Constantin option is up, the property is mine again. I could take it and spin it into a series. But then Frankel is telling me that Constantin is going to make a backend offer to extend the option for another six months. Hensleigh’s off working on his killer ant movie so the question is, can he even get to Riddle within six months? Six months from now we could be going through this whole process again. I mean, I can still do the procedural without Riddle but using Riddle sure makes it easier. Hrmph.

The gnomes are cutting down all the trees. That makes me angry.
I guess I’ll take their offer if it’s reasonable. Maybe I shouldn’t. I’ve given blood, sweat, urine, semen and Skittles to this project and I haven’t gotten much of a return. But if I kill the project then I’m slapping Nicole and Hensleigh in the face. And from my meetings with Tom, it’s clear Hensleigh has talked to him about stepping into the lead role. Tom’s a fan of the script and clearly wants to do it so I’m getting some pressure. I’ve asked Tom his feelings toward Hensleigh and he clearly loves the guy. I had thought perhaps with the Punisher’s backlash there would be hard feelings but that’s crazy…Tom’s too laid back. So, what do I do? I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.

A big dead tree attacked us.

I guess dead trees don’t do it for me.
Goldstein has also gone to Borstein at Showtime and evidently they are interested in “Last Vamp”. This is good news for all of us. Especially Whitley who has needed some good news since Anne’s stroke. She’s doing much better, by the way. I went back and read “Last Vamp” a few nights ago. When a studio passes on a project I suppose the writer always feels the weight of guilt. What did I do wrong? Was it not good enough? But after reading it…Bah! It’s awesome. They are morons.

So, Mel, Dean and I took on Darkfathom Deep and had a blast.

Except when we took a break, Mel went to the kitchen and forgot to surface thereby drinking water until dead. Poor dear.
Tobin called and they loved the outlines for Necroscope. We talked about meeting this week but I’m guessing Christmas Fever will nip that. Anyway we discussed combining two of the takes, which is fine. I’d just like them to settle on something so I can climb into my dungeon and start making the magic again. It’s time to do some writing and I’m feeling the withdrawal. This truncated outline crap is for the birds.

There’s a calm one receives in killing colorful raptors.
Foxhoven called from Tiger Hill and it seems I’m back in play with “Demonik”. There was a big honkin meeting with all the players (except me of course). I haven’t said a whole lot about this because I hate dissing a project while it’s still in play but the truth is…the guy running the show at Virtual Reality did not like the idea of my playing in his video game sandbox. Every outline, every suggestion, every idea I had…he shot down. Hey, I don’t have to be right all the time but statistically I should be right at least once. He never gave me a point. Not once. He argued everything. I never made progress because he’d shoot me down before I could even get my feet off the ground.

They say Desolace is desolate. I find it lovely.

And sad. It’s the place the Kodo’s go to die. Did you know that?
Myself and Tiger Hill both felt the story was in bad shape. But our hands were tied. Any time we’d offer story fixes we were told we were screwing up the designs. It was a strange place to be. TR makes the game. They are the talent. You want them to be happy. But what do you do when you think they are screwing up? I supported them in the beginning but later when I realized the story was sort of wonky I stepped in. Little good it did.

For relaxation, one should always spend time in Booty Bay.
The problem with the story was simple. TR or the bozo running the show, rather, had created this very interesting, very intricate backstory to the game. However he wanted to save the reveal to that backstory for game two. Thus we had us a game with no story. If we tried to bring in a story we were told that our ideas either screwed with design or they screwed with the backstory. Thus we were protecting a backstory that no one would ever see if the first game failed…which it was destined to do because there was no story. Bozos. In ten Hollywood years I’ve never come across this sort of backwards thinking.

This pic was taken moments before we were all slaughtered by raging apes.
Well the big meeting with Majesco came last week and the crap hit the fan. Majesco hated the no-story. Bozo kept arguing that there was a story then laid out his splendid backstory which of course no one playing the game would ever know. My understanding is that he was made to look…foolish. And it all came out that everything I’d been paid to create had been thrown out. Rule of thumb, big studios don’t like spending money on writers only to have the writing thrown out. This makes them…angry.

Lessa took Mel, Gondo and myself to fight on a big ship to kill that guy from “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”. We had a blast. No death.
Majesco wants me back in the mix and they also want to attach a director. So, story misery aside, the game looks amazing. The play is fun and the engine is top notch. The problems were simple. Story and cutscenes. They all sucked. So, I’ll come back in to work on the story and a director will be attached to work on the cutscenes as well as take the helm on the later feature version.

Several director names were thrown out. Craven, Carpenter and Barker. I pushed for Barker. He’s rep’d at ICM as well so I called Nicole and meetings are being set for after New Years. As for Carpenter, I suggested we go to him with our other Tiger Hill project, “Psychopath”. Since then, Brad talked with Derek at Revolution and he’s very interested in “Psychopath” with Carpenter attached. That meeting’s being set for after New Years as well.
And as for Craven…well, he’s off working on “Redeye” for Dreamworks…let’s just not disturb him.

Many times during play Mel’s mining sense will tingle and we’ll have to trek off to some mountain top so she can mine ore for her blacksmithing.
This morning I finished a rough pass on our little Tom Jane/Steve Niles graphic novel thingy. Steve’s still sending me sketches and ideas. Tom is never short on ideas. I’ll write the outline, Steve will turn it into comic form, then Tom will make the deals.

Once we were nekkid…

Now we are clothed.
Chris Carlisle called about “Narcosis”. They want Patrick and I to come in to discuss turning the story into a graphic novel then spinning that into feature, toys, etc. We’ll meet after the New Year.

The Dark Tower made me think of Dean who’s still off in Hawaii with Damon, Don and Bob Saget. He’s been playing the World of Warcraft from his laptop but don’t go shedding a salty tear for him because his laptop is better than most houses.
He comes back Sunday just in time for Mel and I to hit the road to the south…or the air rather. We’re spending Christmas with her folks this year.
So, that’s it for the update. I’m certain I left a few big events out. Like, Mel and I going to the Oaks mall. We were waiting in line for the Cheesecake Factory, just people watching and I said to Mel, “Wow, they are by far the two best looking people in this place.” Mel looked around for a moment then looked back at me and said, “Who, us?”
God, she’s good.

I’m thinking once we get all this Christmas crap out of the way it’s time for a return trip to Vegas. Who’s with me?

I finally uploaded the large version of “Out of the Woods”, Mr. Lorey’s latest Don Maitz commissioned painting featuring his sons Chris and Alex. Click on the pic to see the larger version because size does matter.
On the work front today I’m driving into LA to meet with Michael Goldstein to hear his concept for a possible movie. Michael was the producer on Last Vamp and although SciFi didn’t end up going for it, my understanding is that it will be picked up in turn-around. I’ll get the details at this meeting.
I spoke with Chris Carlisle this morning…in depth. Originally he contacted me about taking some of my ideas and turning them into graphic novels then turning those into movies and merchandise. I sent him two of my and Patrick’s collaborations…Narcosis and Mass Destruction. He loved Mass D but since he’s taken over a month to get back to me I had to inform him that we’d since made arrangements to go out and pitch it wide. He also liked Narcosis I think. Wanted to talk to his partner about it. That’s fine, but at this point I’ve sort of lost interest.
F.J. called concerning Magnus. Basically the story has moved so far away from the original Magnus that it’s no longer recognizable. So, the name Magnus is out and we’re moving into original waters.
Tomorrow I meet with Tom Jane and Steve Niles concerning an idea I pitched them. We’re going to create a graphic novel then hopefully spin that into a movie through their new deal at Lions Gate.
A year, maybe two years ago, Dean and I were talking one-hour TV. We crawled into our separate caves, came up with a string of ideas and compared notes the next day. Dean came up with a great one. He’s pitched it recently and has some real interest. If he sets it up he’s going to hire me to sweep and clean toilets on the set.
Speaking of the dummy…

TV has been good to him. He recently shot his 100th episode of “My Wife and Kids” and has taken the director’s chair on several occasions.

This season’s big opener had him directing Michael Jordon.

This took place during Jordon’s annual basketball camp and they only had an hour with Jordon.

Dean got all the shots in less than an hour.

Some things in life are perfect. This picture gives me meaning. It completes me.

The three of us are still Warcrafting. EverQuest 2 is now a thing of the past. It just doesn’t compare. That’s me napping while Mel and Dean fish and cook by the fire. If you think I’m kidding, that’s exactly what’s going on in the game.

I gave up the Dwarven Priest instead for the Night Elf Shepherd and I’m loving it. In EQ2 my druid could turn into a Lion at level 20.

In Warcraft my druid can turn into a Bear at level 10.

A seal at level 16…this was me discovering the Vile Reef and it’s sunken ships.

And then at level 20 I get to shift into a black Lion.
Warcraft is better three to one in my book.

In MMORGs crafting is a big part of the games. Mel is hooked on fishing and cooking as well as mining and armorcrafting. You can fish items that you can then sell for gold. You can also catch fish and cook them up. If a player eats this cooked food then it’s a little like Speedy eating cheese. Some foods make you stronger, smarter, more agile. Food’s a good thing.
But once you get your skill high enough then you must travel to find the proper trainer to teach you how to be even better. This was going to be a trek. We had to get from the Northern most tip of one continent to the Southern most tip of another continent. Not an easy journey…especially not knowing the way.

So I figured I’d try to find my way there so I could lead Mel and Dean later.

I flew into Ironforge where the Dwarves make wonderful armor and weapons.

Then caught a connecting Griffin further South.

I flew through what could only be described as the pits of Mordor.

And finally reached a point where I would have to huff it on foot. The problem is, you can’t take a Griffin to a place you’ve never been. You must get there on foot first, meet the Griffin Master and then you can fly back later. But getting there on foot might be a nightmare at my level.

For the most part I ran through new territory screaming like a little girl, but on occasion I would have no choice but fight and it was at this point that I killed my first Hydra. I skinned the body and I’m now wearing its leather on my feet. You think I’m kidding but I’m not.
As I’m checking my map I see a river running South. At this point I can barely go anywhere without running into a bear or a spider twice my size so I was thinking a river might be safe. Of course I hadn’t anticipated piranha and Gators but that comes later.
At first the river swim was fine. Peaceful actually. There were some Thorny Backed Turtles that could have kicked my Elvish butt had they so chose but they were peaceful. Then I heard this WOOF WOOF WOOF sound. Scared the crap out of me (thanks the the 7.1 surround sound). It sounded like wings. I stopped and looked across the river at the opposite bank and saw my first dragon.

I had goosebumps. And this was nothing more than a baby dragon compared to the stories I’d heard. I was still too far away for him to take much interest in me so I took some shots then continued my swim.
Then suddenly the sound of WINGS was right on top of me. I spun around to see…

This was intense. He didn’t attack.

He just…hovered. I was scared to move. This was unheard of in a game like this. If a creature is Kill-on-Site then they don’t hover…they attack. They don’t stare at you trying to decided what to eat first…the come at you the moment you are within range. I sat there treading water for probably 30 seconds (it felt much longer). Then he swooped in! Right on top of me…sat there for a moment then —

I was dead.
One bite.
This is a view of me returning to my corpse as a spirit. You can come back to life but I had to wait until he finished feeding on me. Took him about ten minutes before he flew away. I came back to life and continued my journey.
It was then that I ran into assorted piranha, gators and mist gorillas. All of which killed me over and over. I didn’t take pics because I was simply too busy running.
Eventually the river dumped into the ocean and in the ocean I had more room to maneuver and thus stay away from the baddies.

This journey was in search of an outpost called Booty Bay. I knew it was somewhere on the southern tip of the continent but didn’t know where exactly. During my swim I came across the carcass of some poor schmuck dino who found his end by a pack of Raptors. I stayed in the water.
During my swim someone by the name of Mor’Ack kept yelling that he was waiting. Come and get him. No clue who that was.

I came near what I thought might be Booty Bay but it was instead an Orc Outpost. In the game you can choose to be good (Humans, Dwarves, Gnomes, Night Elves) or you can be bad (Orcs, Undead, Tauren, Troll). This was an Orc camp and my knocking on the door would mean certain death. Good races travel by Griffin. Evil races travel by blimp. I stayed in the water.
Still this Mor’Ack fella kept yelling. Taunting. He wanted a fight but I had no clue where he was.

Then I found him. I would have come up to his ankle, maybe. He kept shouting. I stayed in to water.

And finally…after what turned out to be a nearly three hour journey…I found Booty Bay.

A charming little outpost run by a group of always smiling, always happy, Jamaica-mon goblins.

And the trip came to an end when I found Wigcik who sold books on expert fishing. My journey had come to an end.
Having made the trip I spoke with the Griffin Master and got my but and my book out of Booty Bay.

I flew back to Mel and together we returned…now that I new the path. We bypassed the river with its piranha and gators and of course its dragon. We left Mor’Ack shouting on his island and we spent the afternoon in Booty Bay partying with drunken goblins.
The End.