Friday the 14th: A New Beginning

As loving parents, Melanie and I have tried desperately to instill some semblance of anti-normality and irregularity into our daughter’s basic wiring. As we breach month 15, we think we are approaching success. Currently Izzie Rain goes to bed between midnight and 2AM and sleeps until 10AM and noon. Sure, it’s a sacrifice we make but we know that down the road this will allow young Ms. Rain to enjoy all of David Letterman without getting drowsy and she should be well equipped to see most local bars through to closing. Her mother and I are very proud.

Of course, as a side effect to this hard line approach to parenting, Melanie and I are, of course, forced to stay up after midnight each morning. And in respect to our daughter we try to stay in bed until at least 10AM.
This morning that goal was impossible. Why you ask? A knock at the door, of course. Paramount, a member of the AMPTP, decided that it was very important that we receive the DVD for The Kite Runner for our consideration. They balk at increasing our 1988 DVD residual rate but they’ll not blink an eye at spending ten bucks to overnight a DVD…for our consideration.
It perplexes me. While I appreciate Consideration DVDs and by the way will only vote on movies that I received in DVD form, they only send them because winning awards increases sales, thus increasing their revenue…revenue which writers only get four cents per copy.

So, let’s talk about the strike. I basically don’t get either side’s thinking. Let’s start with the dicks at the AMPTP. First off, writers, directors and actors do the creating. A giant team of below the lines makes it all possible and the studios/networks put up the money. You got labor and company. It’s an old story. Sort of. What’s different here is that a part of the labor force actually creates something brand new. We’re not following a company blue print or copyright. We’re creating from scratch. As a result, writers, directors and actors get residuals. As the companies sell this product both sides continue to make money.
Granted, our piece of the pie is small but with inflation that piece should go up in value. It is not. In fact, if the AMPTP were to get their way that piece would shrink stupidly small. Consider that currently when a TV show reruns, the writer gets paid a little over 20 grand. With additional airings that price goes down but writers still get paid per airing. With the new internet age the companies want to rerun that show for free for six weeks then pay us 250 dollars to air it as often as they like for the remaining year.
The studios/networks want to pay for a product and then be able to sell and resell that product until Jesus comes back and sends them all to hell without sharing the wealth with the creators. That’s it a nutshell.

Now, let’s break off from talking about the dicks at the AMPTP and talk about the jackasses running the WGA. Now when I say jackasses, I just mean they are a little stubborn; and I thought it was funny. Besides, dick or jackass, which would you rather be? Anyway, we seem to be fighting for some stuff I personally don’t really want, nor do I understand why we’re fighting for them in the first place. I’ll address two of the issues.
First, animation. Why animation? I say we go after steel working. Why not? I mean, isn’t there already a guild that covers steel workers? Because there’s a guild that already covers animation and I think steel working is way cooler. Plus, I know for a fact that the natural selection involved in steel working would increase the rate of writer fatality and all writers write better when they are at risk. No, wait. I know. Teaching! Writers are teachers. Sort of. I mean, who else would teach us how to vote democrat if it wasn’t for Hollywood? The WGA should include teachers in our strike.
Ranting aside, IATSE already covers animation. Does the animation deal suck? Sure does. It’s disgusting, in fact. But it exists and the WGA has nothing to do with it. What I don’t understand is, why is animation one of our strike points? Look, I ain’t nearly as smart as the Ivy clique of writers out there. I’m life experience taught. So could someone please explain to my dumb redneck brain why we are trying to cover animation when another guild already covers it? Look, I get that it is a travesty that Shrek pays zero residuals. It blows that Nemo can run forever without paying a dime to the writer. But if the animation deal sucks, and it does, isn’t it up to IATSE to fix it? Why is this the WGA’s battle?
Now let’s wax poetic about Reality TV. Hullo? “Writers” Guild. We write don’t we? We write stories? Beginning, middle, end. Structure and such. What are the jackasses thinking? Why are we striking over Reality TV? This is the craziest chicken or egg situation I’ve ever seen. Reality TV was created because we “threatened” to strike the last time. Now we have actually struke and one of our reasons is that we want to cover Reality TV? Why? Reality TV isn’t writing. Okay, okay, sure, it’s writing. But it’s not the writing we do…have done….will continue to do. It’s different. Like news writing is different. Some may argue, but Toddly, what about comedy writers, like them funny fellas who write for Letterman and Leno? Yes, yes, that writing is different but without that kind of writing, without those guys and gals who can sit in a room, spout off two sentences and have the room laughing…without them there would be no sitcoms and the sitcom, my friends, is the sort of writing we do.
But reality TV writing is not. I’m not taking away from it. I’m not belittling it or looking down on it. Someone out there is making Seacrest look good and someone out there is writing up all those Survivor challenges. Go forth and continue. But tell me one thing. While we strike, who’s going to be out there creating content for the dicks at the AMPTP? Who’s going to be out there generating revenue, which directly undermines the pressure our strike is supposed to create? Reality TV writers, that’s who. We’re striking because we want to help reality writers? Well, we should pat ourselves on the backs. We have succeeded. From what I’m hearing from my non-writing buddies, reality TV is going strong. Reality writers are busier than ever. In fact, even I have fielded calls asking if I’d like to work on developing a reality show. I said, no, by the way, but the point is, reality writers are working while we are on strike. Man, I simply do not get this logic. And hey, if reality writers feel they’re being shafted then reality writers should start a union. Why are we taking this burden?
I think the answers are both political and ego.
You know what issue I care about? New media. Internet. Streaming. If I create something and it airs over and over then I want to be paid for it. Just as a novelist is paid per book. Just as a song writer is paid per play or per album.
A good friend, who agrees that writers should be better compensated, was playing Devil’s advocate with me and brought up the point that making a movie is a huge collective process. That writers alone are not the only ones involved. Well yes, that is true. It’s also the reason that directors and actors get residuals. But song writers are not the only ones involved in delivering a finished song. There are producers and musicians and vocalists and sound guys and marketing and just like movies there are a ton of talented folks involved. But without the song writer sitting down to stare at a blank page, none of them would have a job. As a result the song writer blows screenwriters away when it comes to compensation per play or sale.
I also hear the augment that no one really knows what will happen with the internet and that we should take a small piece now and increase it later once the internet is more solid. Yeah, that’s what we did with DVDs and we’re still being paid at the crappy 1988 rate. And while we’re told that the internet is too new to assign a worth, we see every mogel with a mike shoved in front of his piehole boasting about the future of the internet.
And here’s a little something that I rarely hear debated. Soon, and I mean very soon. Everything will be internet. Cable TV as we know it will vanish the way of the 8 track and the VHS. Soon, all television content will be brought to you via the internet. In fact, it’s already started. Mac’s iTV and even my own Dish Satilite has this happy little DVR video boasting about how you can view free movies if you’ll just hook your internet up to your Dish box. The companies know this is the future. They want us to agree to six weeks free, then 250 for unlimited usage over the remaining year? Hullo? I’m an idiot from Kentucky and even I can count higher than that.
Look at is this way. You work in a nice building. You make 800 bucks a week. There’s this bigger building down the street. Very modern, very high tech. Your boss sends you there to work once a week but has been refusing to pay you when you work there. So, you get angry. Your boss says, “Okay okay, I’ll pay you when you work at the bigger building, but here’s the thing. I won’t pay you for the first six weeks you work there and then I’ll pay a flat 250 for the rest of the year.” He tells you not to worry because you’ll only be getting that crappy pay when you work at the bigger building. But you have this odd feeling that very soon the powers that be are going to tear down your current building and all work will be done out of the bigger building. Instead of making a weekly paycheck, you will now be making 250 a year. Welcome to the new Hollywood.
Yes, yes, that’s a goofy example but it made me giggle. Sadly it’s very relevant. Because DVDs are going to go away. Cable television will soon be all internet. And writers will be stuck with whatever deal we end up making where new media is concerned. No more 20 grand for the first rerun. That rerun will air on NBC and it will be brought to you, not by cable but by internet. The writer will get nothing for that rerun. And the writer will continue to get nothing for six weeks. Then the writer will get 250 dollars.
What does this mean for features? Who knows? With the above causing such a stink, the powers that be never got around to discussing features. But you can rest assured that as everyone starts downloading their movies, as DVDs go away, as HBO and CBS begins airing via the internet, then the residual system we have now (which we already thought was horrid) will seem like a happy dream if the AMPTP gets their way.

We won the PR battle. Yes, Variety and the Reporter were slanted but not nearly as bad as I expected. And although NIkki Finke is the only one telling the writer’s side of the story as it really is, the word is still getting out there. I talk to friends and family back in the south and they understand. There’s this huge built in mistrust of big business and government. Then you have Myspace, Facebook and a guhzillion forums where writers live and breath. The very world we are fighting for is a world the AMPTP never used or understood. All they knew/know is that it is the wave of the future. Since we were winning the PR war they went out and hired the big gun PR guys. Good for them. Smart move. Shame the WGA doesn’t do the same thing. But even though we’re winning the PR battle. Even though the the countless polls taken show in huge favor of the writers, the companies don’t care. They’ll take the hatred for them all the way to the bank. This isn’t personal. Well, perhaps it is inside the negotiating room but outside, in real world it’s about dollars and bottom lines. Yes our picket lines have been strong. Writers are coming together like never before. But this is going to get worse if some egos don’t get flushed fast.
Because people are going to lose their homes. Agents and managers are scared. Middle management is scared. Below the Line workers are terrified. 80 percent (and that’s stupidly conservative) of guild writers don’t have two months income in the bank. It’s going to get bad. And here’s the thing. The AMPTP, doesn’t care. Because they got a bunch of Reality TV people working double time to bring in revenue…that and they have access to billions of dollars. So far the polls and community are on our side; that may not always be the case.
No. It don’t look good but I’m a glass half full kind of guy and I’m hopeful that the dicks and jackasses can flush the egos and get back to business. I never wanted this strike and would have voted against had the dicks not gone militant and suggested removing residuals altogether. That was a boneheaded move on their part and as a result they forced a gigantic vote against them. Had their egos not thought it a good idea then we might have avoided this strike altogether. But what’s done is done.
Now it’s time to bring in some new negotiators. Both sides have failed. Good effort, now go away. Let’s get back to what this should have been about in the first place. New media. Internet. Streaming.
I don’t care about reality TV. There’s already a guild covering animation. Take those off the table. The only issue that matters is New Media. Internet. Streaming. That is the future. That’s where the fight should be. All that other junk muddies the waters. Reality TV isn’t our fight. Animation isn’t ours to fight for. Dump it and focus on what matters so we can all get back to work.

Look, as always, this is just my small opinion. But I’m entitled. I’m southern. Old school. I want to write and I want to provide for my family. I want to cheer my friends’ successes and make fun of my enemies’ failures. I want to eat beef and have a glass of wine or ride my bike and giggle when I break wind. I want to work with like-minded people. I want to enjoy the ride. Friends, enemies…I just want us all to get back to work and try to remember that we used to be good at making movies and TV.