January Jonesing

On the 2nd of January during a long IM chat with Patrick, I wrote the words, “Wow. It’s going to be a crazy year. I hope we win.” While I will be recapping January, it is, in fact, April. The 17th to be exact. And, uh…yuh. It is crazy but I think we’re winning.

January was a monster month. Patrick landed in Louisiana for all Drive Angry prep all day/night long while I scrambled to tie up loose writing ends at home. I could feel the stress building. Not over the movie. I had full confidence in Patrick, our planned crew and our coming cast. The stress came from the growing anxiety that I’d miss Izzie. So I made it a point to spend as much time with her as possible. This included her spending the night with me at the office from time to time.

But, before I bang out some January, let’s talk Drive Angry. Sitting in the editing room with Patrick and Devin. Wow. A week ago DeLuca said, “This one feels special.” He was right. Watching the cut I feel all warm and fuzzy. We did it. We wrote something and there it is. As we wrote it. Wow. I have never loved me more than I do right now. I love others too, of course.

For instance, our cast. Cage is wonderful. He’s professional. ALWAYS prepared. On time and patient. He’s so kind to the crew. And he LOVES the part. Devours it. He’s sooooo good. Simply put, he’s a badass.

Amber IS Piper. She is what we wrote. And she’s so beautiful on screen she will literally take your breath away. Patrick and I are fans of empowered women and Amber Heard will kick your ass.

William Fichtner is a true master. As I mentioned in the December post, Patrick called and told me he had found the Accountant after a sit down with Fichtner. And he was right. Bill Fichtner is perfect. Bill and I have made the journey from pure enemies to good friends.

Billy Burke. O. M. G. His first scene had no dialog. It was one of the most intense performances I’ve ever seen. Patrick and I stood behind the monitor covered in goosebumps! If I had to choose one word to describe his performance: delicious. And as an massive side note. Go to www.billyburke.net and download his new single, Removed, because it’s awesome. He gave Patrick and I three cuts on Friday and they are great. Billy’s the real deal.

David Morse is a force of nature. A man’s man. He is not of this world, not of this time. He is John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen. I not only LOVE his performances, I really just like him as a person.

But when all the dust settles, when the fires die down and only embers light the faces of the sinful, it is Patrick Lussier who rises from the ash as genius, wizard and master of movie magic. We are on a tight budget and a tight schedule. He thinks on his feet. When obstacles arise, as they always do, he adapts, improves and overcomes. We would have failed long ago with another director. We would have lost “our” movie with another director. It is what we wrote and that’s because of Patrick. He never complains. Never raises his voice. Never screams. Only the weak must resort to those methods. He leads the crew with compassion and humility. With thanks. At the end of every day, no matter how long, no matter the challenges, he walks to each department and thanks the crew personally. And for obvious reasons, the crew adores him.

A crew that is simply awesome. As we go down this road I’ll introduce most of them. But for now, back to January.

January was manly about deals. Ugh. Deals are and will always be nasty. It’s the delicate balance of spending enough money to make a good movie while apparently not overspending. Of course, overspending was never going to be a challenge on this one. Millennium takes pride in their ability to get a lot for very little.

January was also the month of auditions. As I sit here reading over old emails I sit upon a fence. There have been some great actors audition for Drive Angry but I keep coming up with all these reasons not to tell those stories. At least not now. Down the road maybe. Number one, I don’t want to embarrass those who did not get the parts. Two, I don’t want to take away from those we did cast because I really do think we have the perfect cast.

But I get actors now. Moreso than I did. I recognize the resemblance. As a writer, I go in with a story or an idea and I pour my heart out then I stand back as a string of asses who can’t do what I do fold their arms and judge my work. With actors, it is the same thing, except the asses aren’t judging their work, the asses are judging them. And in this case I guess I’m one of the assess adding my two cents to the judgement.

Jan 8th we make an off to Bill Fichtner. Patrick and I are absolutely giddy.

Jan 13th we get notes from Nic. They are all character notes and all smart. When you travel in the Hollywood circles you hear rumors. Rumors that he could be difficult. First off, there’s not a difficult bone in this man’s body. He has been nothing but kind and selfless. He comes early and stays late. He loves the movie and loves the part and his input has made a better character. Patrick and I never made our influences known. We never told him. He just knew what we were going for. He read the script and got it. As a result he’s made it better. Taken it places we never considered.

Favorite quote of the week following a Nic Cage take: Andrew “Big Toe” Wert – Props Master, “I have 37 confirmed kills and I’ve never looked that cool firing a gun.”

On January 15th we looked at pictures of Louisiana sunflower fields. I can tell you this as it is no longer in the movie, but we had this big sequence involving Nic being chased and chasing through a sunflower field. And here’s why…Patrick and I first met back in 04 or 05 on “Scarecrow”, the movie that would later become “The Messengers”. When we were involved there was a Scarecrow. Later Patrick and I were both fired. So. In a homage to our first meeting, Cage was supposed to blow through a scarecrow, sending it and its post airborne in 3D. This was our big “blow us” to what used to be revolution films. But…in the end, we cut the sunflower field because sunflowers wouldn’t be in bloom during our shoot. And thanks to good ol’ Mother Necessity, we came up with a better set piece anyway.

Izzie loves Sharks in 3D. Sea Monsters in 3D she found slightly alarming. :)

Back at the end of Dec I got an email from a buddy about to go in and pitch a Halloween 3 take. The email was two fold. One, are you and Patrick cool with this? Of course we were. Two, what was it like working with TWC? I said it was bloody awesome until it wasn’t. On the 16th of January my buddy gets back to me. “Hey, so we did the pitch — a big empty conference room in the big empty Weinstein Co. offices. No receptionists, no assistants, water in a paper cup.“ Sounds about right.

You know, it’s funny. Of all the emails I get, those concerning H3D still outnumber the rest. There’s a real passion out there. Fake Twitter sites pop up all the time with no other mission statement other than to further the buzz about H3. Others may wonder why that is but I don’t. And here’s why. Scifi has been around since man first looked at the moon. But Star Wars changed everything. Star Wars built a fan base like few others. Slashers have been around since man first picked up a sharp blade. But Carpenter’s Halloween changed everything. Carpenter’s Halloween built a fan base like few others. To be a part of that, even for a short time, was a glorious thing. I adore Malek and I truly wish TWC the best because we all need to make this movie. Will it be our script? It a just world yeah. Our script makes the best movie. But with us or without us, I’d love the franchise to continue. And in a strange bit of curiouser and curiouser, Bob called Patrick yesterday. They did not connect as Patrick was racing up and down the highway chasing a very fast driving Nic Cage. It likely had nothing to do with H3D but is nice that the lines or communication are still open.

Back to January Drive Angry business…I’m reading emails but I cannot publicly detail the contents. January was the month of auditions and deals. Both are and were bittersweet. Again, we have the absolute BEST cast. But that is not to say we didn’t see some utterly OUTSTANDING auditions. Makes me both happy and sad because I LOVE actors. I love those willing to completely expose themselves for the passion of a story or the love of a character. Wish we could hire them all. And then there were the friends. Friends who act. Some we were able to cast, like Tom Atkins. Some we were not, like Betsy Rue or Earl Brown or Paul Hungerford and that’s a very short list within a very long list.

When I go up for a job, if I don’t get it the suit who made the decision doesn’t suffer. Doesn’t care. I do. While only one can get the role, I am so thankful and in awe of the others and wish them the very best.

Then there were the deals. What a nightmare world. My grandpa used to say, “A hard day’s work for a hard days’ pay.” I get that. It’s fair. But finding that balance is so rare. Some get paid way too much. Some get paid way too little. And everyone’s definition of what’s too much and too little differs. Welcome to the nightmare. The only thing I know for certain is that…I always get paid too little. :)

Izzie likes to paint her toenails. Likes to paint mine too. I like the foot and ankle massage that comes standard with a pedicure. Win win.

On the 18th of January, Gary Tunnicliffe sent Patrick and I the picture of a gun used in Drive Angry. This gun is the gun of guns. The second coming of guns. I cannot even tell you the name of this gun as we do not speak it out loud. To do so would cause you to both orgasm and bleed from your eyes. But one day, sooner than you think…the gun will be made known to you.

On the 22nd of January we distributed our official polish for Drive Angry. In the world of dotted I’s and crossed T’s that completed our contractual obligations. What would followed would be countless production passes to accommodate for changing sets, props, actors, weather, you name it. A screenplay in production is a living-breathing thing. Anyone who tells you differently is a moron.

By the end of January I became amazed by the small army of people who apparently make money to spend their days discussing what Nic Cage will or will not look like in the Hard Core action-eff-awesome-adventure, Drive Angry. Nothing about this annoys me nor Patrick because we are basically left alone to plan the movie we want while others met within meetings of endless debate.

By the 24th it was all coming together. We had deals finalizing with Fichtner and Amber Heard. We had an offer going out to Billy Burke. And we were waiting for offer triggers to be pulled on Tom Atkins, Katy Mixon, Jack McGee, Christa Campbell and Michael Papajohn (he killed Uncle Ben, you know). All very exciting.

On the 25th we got our first Clearance report. Again I am amazed at the jobs that exist in the movie biz. A clearance report basically tells you what names and items and references you can and can not use without either paying for said names, items, references or being suited for said names, items, references. Apparently we won’t be using a Louisville Slugger.

In the last week of January, art and concepts and set photos started flooding in from Nathan Amandson, our production designer.

Above is a painting by concept artist/illustrator Nicole Lobart, wife of Art Director, William Budge.

If I were a superhero…my superpower would be world orgasm. Allow me to elaborate. I would, with the power of my mind, cause every living pubescent human to cum. Hard. Length of said orgasmic burst would, of course, depend on my mood. Mess with me…and you blow. Hurt someone close to me…and you will get your groove on until I deem you released. Send your army to destroy me…and I will make your toes curl til your ears bleed. And then sometimes…when I’m in a pleasant mood, after a good movie, or a nice meal or a perfect glass of wine, I will rub one out, soft and gentle with rolling peeks and smooth valleys and we will as a planet bask in a warm peaceful glow.

Coming soon: February. I’m convinced the month was a type-o and no one had the balls to fix it.

February Topic: The Fab Five or How to Blow Crap Up with a Proper Spray of Blood.