I’m sickly. Went to see the doc today to get some legal drugs. On the way home I’m sitting at a light on Beverly and I look over and some Joe in a beat up truck is mouthing at me. He’s cussing me and fuming and I got no clue what I did. So, I did what any upstanding citizen should do in that situation. I shot him the bird.
He jumps out of his truck and comes over and slams his fist on the hood of my sweet Audi, who ain’t done nothin’ to him. So I climb out and I see it in his eyes instantly. It’s that “Oh shit” moment. He didn’t expect such a large guy to climb out of such a little car. But he’d opened the can and it was too late to take it back so he rushes around the car and I’m like, “calm down, I don’t know what I did but let’s just…”
And WHAM, he takes a swing at me. Bless his heart. I commend his courage. I blocked his feable punch, grab his nuts, pulled him toward me and slammed my forehead into his nose. He crumbled to his knees and bled on himself until the cops arrived.
Granted I have been getting in a couple of fights a year but normally it’s cuz some bozo is being abusive to a woman. I got very little patience with that sort of thing. But this was different. I’d like to think it’s cuz I got a fever and I ain’t exactly thinking clearly. Cuz I shouldn’t have shot the guy the bird. I should have just driven away.
I figured I was in a heap of trouble. The cops were polite but I still thought I’d end up on the news. Then I saw a Hispanic fella telling the cops what had happened. He was demonstrating my nut grabbing and head butting. Then he turned to me, gave me a big smile and a thumbs up. I guess he approved. But I still figured I was gonna get a good lashing.
Until they found the gun.
The Joker had a gun in his boot. He was arrested and I drove home and now I’m going to bed.
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