Here’s to the sunny slopes of long ago.

Alien Pig Farm issue #2 hits the shelves next week. Issue #4 goes to the printers tomorrow so my work here is done (as a matter of fact, Jason just sent over the final lettering proof for…proofing). I’ve even made a pass through all four issues toning them down to a PG-13 in the off chance we release a version of the trade paperback for the kiddies. So, I’m free now to return to my home planet. But I’ll be back for Comicon. Tom has a RAW table this year where he, Niles, Bradstreet, myself and the full cast of RAW characters will be hanging out and signing assorted napkins, empty Starbucks cups and breasts.

We all got together at Steve’s house this month to celebrate Ms. Sarah’s birthday. I had a couple meetings earlier in the day so Mel and young Izzie Rain stayed behind. In retrospect, wish they hadn’t. But a six hour drive one way is tough on the fembot and you always feel nutty showing up to a party with an 8 month old. Of course, the Niles clan wouldn’t have cared, in fact, I’m sure the cylon would have provided plenty of entertainment…so..next time. That said, there are rumors we may be considering a move back to LA. The HORROR!

This was a fun moment. Bradstreet, who seems incapable of breathing or having carnal knowledge without his camera nearby, herded the usual suspects into Niles’s garage for a Bernie Wrightson photo shoot. It’s an update on a photo of Bernie taken back in the 80s I’d guess. I just remember looking around during the shoot, thinking…how cool. You had Tommy Jane lying on the floor left, I was on the floor right. Niles, Sarah, Lieb from Fox Atomic and John Wrightson all lending a hand. Liz may have been there as well but it’s all a teeny bit foggy as I was a few beers in.

Next day it was back to Pacific Grove. It’s been nutty around here with a dozen different development projects in the works but the ability to walk down to the ocean completely reboots the brain. And yes, we’ve been discussing a move back to LA…well, more likely Thousand Oaks. We lived in LA for 10 years and both feel we’ve paid our dues. And although PG is wonderful…we’re sort of out of the loop. Spontaneous business lunches are out of the question from here. Any party or simple gathering is a 24 hour commitment/adventure. We’re still in negotiations so no final decisions are made but we’re just giving Thousand Oaks residents a heads up in case they want to relocate before our arrival.

I don’t know. We could try renting two places again but it’s bad enough throwing away one chunk of monthly rent. Two seems just silly. If we do move back I would certainly miss our ocean walks. And Bubba Gumps. Mel and I had seafood. Izzie had a beer coaster. I think she’d miss the beer coasters. And yes, I know LA has beer coasters too but they taste like anorexic actresses.

And tell me this, what is the deal with the speeding up of time when an infant is involved? I wake up, drink my coffee, write a few pages and before I know it the sun has set, Letterman is doing his monologue and it’s time to crash again. My mind is still 18 but my body feels like it’s pushing 63 and by the time I finish this post I’ll be closer to 70. This wasn’t in the brochure. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the creature, nothing I wouldn’t do for her. In fact, when some boneheaded executive passes on a project for whatever amazingly retarded reason I want to grab him or her by the spleen and say, “Yeah, but I have a kid now. I need to buy a Baby Einstein bouncer and season one of Backyardigans on DVD. Where was I? Eh…who cares, moving on.

The creature, also known as the Cylon, Fembot and/or Bossofme has two teeth. They are small and insignificant until she snags your knuckle and chomps down. She likes to yell in public. I can recall being annoyed in past years when someone’s little twerp would yell out in a restaurant but now I find myself provoking it and hoping someone will say something snotty so that I can reveal to my daughter what a wonderfully versatile killing machine her father is. This is another reason to move back to LA because sadly, Puh’Geans are all infuriatingly polite.
Looks like I’ll be pitching two TV shows this season and I’m closing in on a sequel at Ghost House and half a dozen other deals that when all is said and done will require my LA presence. What I need is a teleportation device that will not result in turning one into a fly monster.
Moving on…let’s talk about the journey of Barakkas. I’ve mentioned Dean’s book, well Barakkas is the heavy, the villain, the Darth Vaderkas. And as Dean has had to put up with every detail of my sordid career as well as pages and art from Pig Farm, he has kindly returned the favor with his Nightmare Academy. And in doing so I’ve been blessed…no, honored…no, tolerant of the journey that is Barakkas. The journey taken to bring a creature from the cellar of Dean’s creepy mind into the reality of 2D illustration.

This is how it began. A still photo taken of the creature Dean would later base Barakkas on. A creature of cunning. A creature of madness. Seen here in its unnatural habitat…Buca Di Beppo, if memory serves. Photographic analysis revealed the creature pictured had recently slaughtered and devoured an out of work Cher impersonator. Requests for interviews with CherImpersonatorsOnline were ignored.

Then comes the first visualized interpretation. This from the original illustrator hired by HarperCollins. Barakkas within the Nether with gremlins and hags in the background. This would be the illustration for the inside cover of the book. The illustrator’s name slips my mind or more likely was never recorded into long term memory because sales of Dean’s book will not, in fact, buy me anything German. There were early concerns that the illustration looked too “hellish” and considering this was a drawing from the Nether it occurred to the author (he will like being referred to as the author) that the Nether in the book was described as blue.

Next came the cover. Charlie, gazing through the portal as Barakkas glares back at him. Open the cover and you see the previous illustration. Cool concept. In the end it was deemed too dark. Dark as in creepy rather than without light. So with a publishing date quickly approaching, the author found himself without a cover.

Next came JP Targete’s take on Barakkas. Dean hired JP to design and illustrate many of the creatures in the book for Dean’s website. And a poster of this image was printed and sent along when Dean turned the screenplay into Universal. And while this version is amazingly cool, HarperCollins thought it to be too scary for the book.

Stephen Hickman, known for his fantasy artwork did a sketch for Dean. And this was simply out of a love for the book. Hickman has read a couple versions and simply wanted to be a part of it. Although this is a discussion of the journey of Barakkas it should be noted that the read is fantastic and no surprise that Hickman would love it. No one hates praising Dean Lorey more than I do but I cannot ignore how great the book is. Granted, my friendship clearly provided the inspiration that inevitably turned the dial to 11 but I have that affect on people. It’s just how I roll. However, Hickman wasn’t chosen either. And you’d have to get the exact details as to why from the “Author”. (I’ve decided that for the remainder of this entry we shall refer to Dean Lorey as the “Author”. Think of it like Cher but not like the out of work Cher impersonator because that’s too wordy.)

HarperCollins found a new artist and it was discussed that the color red for Barakkas was considered too devilish, a cooler shade was chosen for the book and JP tweaked his original Barakkas illustration for the website.

And finally artist Brandon Dorman captured just the right feeling for a kid friendly book of adventure wondrous. And that my friends is the journey of Barakkas. Of course, the journey will start all over again once the movie goes into production but that’s just how the world creative rolls.