Author: Todd

Kendra and Rikki had a visit from Arinne and Tim. The four of them took a drive to a natural bridge an hour from Lexington.
Mel’s been talking Christmas trip so we may head back to Kentucky/Tennessee to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus. Then I was thinking southern food makes California food taste like corpse, so maybe we should go back for Thanksgiving instead. Of course, we normally dine with the Loreys who escape the corpse curse due to the simple fact that they come here from Georgia. But I’ve been thinking about the south myself and I’ve got some time on my hands at the moment…maybe now’s the time to go. Or maybe next year.
Arinne’s latest email says I should be nice to dad. Bummer. I just got used to being mean to him.
Next we define the emotions of outward joy and inward horror.

Notice the smile that says, “That’s right, I’m driving a Jag.” The confidence…even borderline arrogance that occurs as the right hand stays firmly gripped on the wheel and the left hand waves…you can almost hear the words, “Look, I can drive and wave at the same time…and I look sexy behind the wheel of a Jag. Date me.” This is the picture of Outward Joy.

Notice the flexed jaw muscles, the pursed lips, the slight rise in stature from the overly tightened buttocks. We call this a text book example of Inward Horror.

Yesterday Mel and I took our walk into nature.

We’re an hour from LA and that makes getting to and from a meeting something of a chore but it sure does seem worth it to me.

At noon-thirty today several people around the world suddenly had the subconscious thought, “Jump Todd”. But I didn’t.

This is where we live. A neighborhood built on the edge of a wilderness. It wows me.

I love my car and I can’t live without my computers but this is far more beautiful and unfortunately won’t last as long because one day, someone will cut it down to pour some asphalt.

A couple of miles into our hike we discovered we were on no trespassing land. Oops. We did not turn back. We kept going.

But we started sneaking. Just in case.
Today I will do everything in my power to make Dean’s drive to work entertaining. I will follow up with Chris concerning my and Patrick’s Graphic Novel adventures. I’ll check with Goldstein concerning “Last Vamp’s” turnaround and a couple other ventures we’re pursuing. I’ll check in with Tiger Hill on “Psychopath” and “Demonik”. I’ll chat with Mark about his latest draft of “Last House”. I’ll check in with Whitley concerning Anne’s recovery. I’ll hunker down and see what sort of story I can put together for “Necroscope” in preparation for Wednesday’s meeting. If time allows I might read “Past Tense” and see if I can find a smoother last half. Today will be a busy day.

But the night, as every night is out here, will prove to be stunning.

Dean sent me to Starwars.com this morning to check out the episode III trailer. Best trailer so far. I’m quite certain it created a disturbance in the force…that’s the Star Wars world definition. In the real world we call it a woody. Now we can only hope the movie is as good as the trailer because the trailer is wow.
Mel and I are going to go see the Incredibles today. I may see if the Loreys and/or Lussiers want to join us.
This week Constantin asked for a six month extension for the option on “Riddle Me This”. Of course they wanted it for free. My lawyer has requested 3,500 to stay in compliance with the WGA agreement as well as bumping the purchase price. We’ll see what happens.
I’ve finished reading my book for adaption. This one will be tricky. The Story actually doesn’t get started until page 300 of 500 due to the fact that the first three hundred is backstory and set up. I have until Wednesday to come up with something brilliant.
Patrick and I should hear back this coming week concerning “Narcosis” and “Mass Destruction”. We’re actually fairly excited about journeying into the world of Graphic Novels.

Halloween is over but I’ll post pics as and if they trickle in. Brenna and Blake, webmasters over at Fridaythe13thfilms.com.

Here’s a way to kill a number of birds with one small incendiary explosive. First off, if you have some concerns about the environment and/or global warming and if you’re too selfish to drive an electric car (as I am) then here’s a way to do your part. Your computer can join forces with others around the world to run climate prediction models.
But don’t be fooled, this little adventure won’t solve the problem of global warming. We’re not there yet. Nowhere near. Baby steps. This process is basically advancing the technology that will one day lead to climate prediction and answers to global warming.
It’s also a contest. By joining the Spread Firefox team you are helping to…well…spread Firefox. The alternative browser to Internet Explorer that I’m always blowing hot air about.
By joining the Spread Firefox team you are already guaranteed at least a 2nd place finish. Since Spread Firefox joined as a team we’ve already climbed to 16th place out of over 1000 teams. At the moment we have 406 computers on our team. But our average work credit has us in second place behind the French International Team. However to take first place we need more computers on the team. Devin and I are in the top 50 on the Spread Firefox team and we’d love to have some more join us.
Be warned though, by downloading and installing the software it will automatically set your computer’s CPU to run at 100 percent resources. This will not impact your normal work because it sets itself on the lowest priority. It will not cause games or programs to run slow because whatever you are doing takes priority. But know that when you’re not using your system, Climate Prediction will. What does this mean? Well, it means your computer becomes a heater. My office is now warm and toasty from the warm air blowing out of the back of the Alienware.
You can, of course, adjust your settings once you have installed. Just turn the 100 percent resources down if you so desire. And of course, you can always simply suspend the program by right clicking on the BOINC icon in the system tray and selecting suspend.
Just click on the picture above to learn more.

I think spiders are pretty.
Back in college I used to keep a Black Widow in a jar. Since Mel and I have been a couple I’ve had one which I kept in a fish bowl (they can’t climb glass so it’s safe). However, while cleaning one day, Esther placed her dust towel on the fish bowl and the little lady escaped. Mel hates spiders about as much as I hate snakes. She, of course, went into a panic. The Widow had only moved about two feet away where she took up residence in my old football helmet but it was enough for Mel to put her foot down and ban all arachnid roommates.

This made me grin.

So I talked to my little sister today and we’re thinking that it’s time for the Farmer Siblings to embark on a Disney Cruise. The plan is for next year sometime and I couldn’t be more pleased. Arinne would bring Tim. Rikki would bring Kendra, I’ll of course bring Mel and I guess Aarek either needs to get himself a girlfriend or perhaps I’ll purchase him an escort.
I caught Mel crying last night. She was thinking about Gus the Lorey Lab and the tears started to flow. Good dog, that Gus.
I’m still reading my little novel. I’ll read a set piece, stop, take notes then read some more. I wish I was faster. Tentatively my meeting is next Tuesday. I’ve got some great ideas and I’m excited to see where the book ends up going.
Constantin has officially asked for an extension of the option on “Riddle Me This”. I spoke with Hensleigh last week and he’s moving as fast as he can. I’ll talk with my Lawyer tomorrow to work out the details.
The Mass D trailer along with outline and Narcosis outline went to Chris Carlyle today. And thus begins the journey into the world of Graphic Novels.
Brad emailed me from Tiger Hill to say that Terence loved the Psychopath outline. And that Saga passed on the video game version which is exactly what we wanted to happen. Now we can shop it around and with Terence on board now we can start film development as well. Long way from greenlight on either but it’s a big step in the right direction.

Hi Granny. That’s brother Aarek in the background. Brother Rikki in the far background.

Kerry won the State of California by roughly a million votes. Granted this is due strongly to the cities of Los Angeles and San Francisco and their overwhelming liberal presence but the numbers speak for themselves. Clearly California believed it was time for a change. They considered Bush a bully who took advantage of 9-11 to seek his own selfish gains. They believe Bush has put our boys and girls in the military at risk. They believe Bush’s actions have turned the world against us. They believe Bush’s actions will increase terrorism.
Meanwhile, California in all its liberal compassion has decided to tax Native Americans. Taxation without representation. We don’t pay for their schools or their roads but we’ll take their money. But no Todd, we’re not taxing Native Americans, we’re taxing their billion dollar casinos. We love the little red man, Todd. No you don’t. Reservation Casinos create jobs and pay for their roads, their schools, their growing economy. No California you bunch of hypocrites, you are taxing them because you are seeking your own selfish gains. You are taxing them because you are a bully.
And what will Native Americans get in return for these taxes we take? Nothing. We will continue to “not” pay for their schools, nor their roads, nor anything that taxation pays for. And why shouldn’t we screw them? We stole their land. Now we’ll steal their money. And this isn’t a problem because we aren’t losing our boys and girls to war on reservations. Indians aren’t terrorists. Indians aren’t a threat to California. Indians don’t hate us although they probably should. And best of all, the World doesn’t give a crap how we treat Native Americans and by God California cares what the World thinks.
You see, there’s really no risk. It’s win win for California. We get what we want, Indians get shafted, no one dies, no one is at risk, no one gets bad mouthed by the French. It’s the perfect plan. And they can’t even fight the vote because we waaaay outnumber them because thank god our ancestors killed most of them off a hundred years ago.
Nice work, California. I’m so proud of your two faced politics. Just don’t preach to me about the evils of Bush when you do the same thing in your own backyard.
And in the National News…today at around 1:15 pm, Michael Moore’s head exploded.

Brad Weaver was my best friend growing up. We were destined to be close as children because our parents were best of friends. Our fathers wrecked red ’57 Chevys together. The trickle effect, that space of time in which friendship begins to shift, started in high school but it wasn’t until we married and moved into the real world that we sadly lost touch. I haven’t seen Brad since…I guess my mother’s funeral which was back in ’94. I heard he married. I heard they desperately wanted children. But there were complications — I’m not certain of the details — not certain I ever was. But after years they eventually turned to the challenge of child adoption. I know little of adoption other than it is a long and sacrificing process. But eventually my old friend got word that the were to be the proud parents of a little girl. At which point Brad’s wife got pregnant with twins.

Got an email from Brad last week with attached pic. Good looking kids.
Darren Bennett was a college buddy. His father was dean of Students, his mother taught English. He and I lived on Benson, third floor with the uppity up of our collage social club. You see, at a Christian college there are no fraternities or sororities, there are co-ed social clubs. Frats and Sororities promote sex, drugs and rock n roll. Jesus does not like sex, drugs and…well he does dig rock n roll. Where was I? Bennett, yes.
We were buddies. After college we went our separate ways. I married the perfect Christian girl then three years later had the perfect Christian divorce. For the most part…well, let’s put it this way, after the divorce there were only two of my former college friends who stayed in touch. One was gay, and outcasted himself, the other was Darren Bennett.

A recent email from him had attached the Bennetts’ first born.

In keeping with the theme of all things children, Sunday night we spent the evening trick or treating with the clan Lorey.

I think it is safe to say that in this one outing the powers of persuasion of the Pirate convinced the good nature of the Blue Power Ranger that this was a night not for saving the innocent but for pillage and plunder.

The Sorceress Lorey lit three candles in the forge (which would later threaten to burn the entire house down) to bring the heroes home safely.

Thus with the approval from the leaders of clan Lorey, the keepers of tradition and wisdom…the grandparents of said Pirate and Power Ranger…

We took trick or treating by storm.

But do not be naive in thinking the night was without incident. There were the attacks by giant purple spiders…

…and towering, if not slightly bloated, Frankenstein monsters. And it was during these times that the older, more wise members of the group were forced to step in. To…save the day if you will.

Captain America and his sidekick, Stupid Red Faced Guy, led the troops in battle for candy.

Papa Lorey, the great and grand wizard, wielding his Churro of power as well as the Good Witch Melanie were not without battle scars by the nights end.

But in the end all was well, evil was thwarted allowing the Blue Power Ranger a moment’s peace to unmask and proceed to eat his grandfather’s magic Churro.

And thus it was time for the long journey home. An uneventful journey…

…with the exception of the Evil Pirate’s utter refusal to stop pulling Captain America’s ear.

Ahh, the spoils of victory. However, not an Atkins friendly treasure in the bunch.
Yesterday saw Internet challenges. Our new servers blocked my IP address. They gave me two reasons, one due to spam coming from our IP address from a nasty little adware program and two from my entering multiple wrong passwords into my new ftp server. Two red flags and we were blocked. But it was fixed within 30 seconds of speaking with tech support so I have no complaints with the people of Gearworx.
I spent yesterday eating meat and cheese as is the Atkins way and reading this little book I’m looking to adapt. My agent called yesterday to inform me that the writer and producers were excited to meet with me and wanted to meet today. I told her to push it back a week as I’m still only a third of the way through the book. Fast writer, slow reader…go figger. So I read last night. I’m nearly halfway now. Perhaps by weeks end and no promise that I’ll be able to turn the thing into a movie…although I’ll certainly do me bestest.
Dean called mid-day to tell of us their Lab, Gus’s passing. An elderly but kind hearted, good-natured fella. Not surprisingly he was the best of us all.
There’s that old legend about death coming in threes. I guess Gus made three because last week had me collecting calls from both college and high school and the friends of Christmas Past.
Scott Lathram lived behind us when I was growing up. Several years back Scott left the Kentucky State Troopers to become NASCAR driver, Tony Stewart’s, chopper pilot. Scott died in a plane crash last week.
Brett Bear was a freshman college comrade who went on to become Headmaster at Columbia Academy. He died in car wreck last week.
Hearing word of these two deaths didn’t make a big impact on me. I was certainly sad for their wives and kids but it was little more than a footnote in my day’s events. But one must consider that I’ve become something of a hardened old bastard and sometimes need time to remember that I’m human. Because over the weekend I did recall how close we were. Then throw in the passing of a gentle Labrador and suddenly I’m struck with nostalgia.
My freshman year in college was spent with my high school pal, Barry Fortner. We befriended Brett. A gentile giant. Giant is misleading. He was a muscular monster. Brett was older than the rest of us and perhaps not insecure about it but he certainly kept the information close to the vest. Unlike most of us, who had mommy and daddy to pay for college, Brett had to make arrangements for his own future. And he made those plans with the military. Four years he’d given to our good country. Many late nights would find us dreaming of the days we would overthrow the college. As time went on we drifted into the social clubs that suited our personalities but we stayed close and that was rare. Normally social clubs were very clique-ish. By the end of our junior years our plan to rule the college was complete. Barry had been voted President of Chi Beta Chi, Brett was voted President of Phi Kappa and I was President of Sigma Rho. Of course, instead of returning my last year I ran off and got married and our plans of college domination had to be carried out without me. Once I left we lost touch. I would chat with Barry via email over the years and would hear this or that about Brett but life and friendship had moved on. Brett was a good man and I’m certain he’ll be missed.
And as for the high school connection, Scott Lathram and I were buds. We camped out together in the back yard, tree house, unfinished basement of my childhood home. He taught me to drive when I was 12 or 13. Scott had an old Volkswagen that had been stripped of its body. Looked like a giant go-kart and he’d tear around his backyard in it. As a friend I was allowed behind the wheel on many occasions. We got into much mischief together. Scott even taught me how to jerk off…well, he didn’t touch me in ways that made me feel uncomfortable but one night the two of us and a friend were camping out in our unfinished basement and in the wee hours of the morning from the privacy of his goose down sleeping bag Scott proclaimed, “I’m gonna beat off!” Our friend added, “Me too!” Not wanting to feel left out I announced, “Me three!” Of course, this term was alien to me. I couldn’t see what they were doing but I caught the gist. They were attacking their Johnsons. Seemed harmless. Seemed doable. Thus I went on the offensive as well. I can recall thinking…sigh…this is fine but in the end, what’s the point? Eventually the point came in a big explosion and the invention of a new hobby.
Scott and I lost touch after high school. And I suppose the last time I saw him was in ’96 or ’97 when Mel and I returned home for my grandmother’s funeral. I saw his State Trooper cruiser parked in the drive of his parents’ house and swung in to say Hi. It was strange. This wasn’t the goofy kid I’d grown up with. This was an adult. Chest stuck out. Very…police man. I kept wanting to say, “Dude, it’s me.” We soaped windows together. We stole Hustler magazines and hid them out in the old shed. We toilet papered half the houses in the neighborhood. But Scott had found adulthood and had fully embraced it. I do recall him telling me that he had recently left the force to fly helicopters. And that was the last we spoke. I’m certain the old boy will be missed.
New life enters, old life — although some taken before their time — departs. A reminder that we should embrace life…live it to the fullest…and stop bitching so much.
And on that note I shall bitch some…Melanie and I will drive all the way to downtown LA to vote. For some odd reason our absentee ballots never showed up. Melanie is convinced that it is a democratic conspiracy. Probably. This is Los Angeles we’re talking about. It’s easier for a rich man to pass through the canal of my butt than a Republican to get an absentee ballot in LA.
That said I leave you with the quote of the day.
“What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?”
–Irv Kupcinet

Wow.
Great flick. Great cast. Jamie Foxx is tremendous.

Sweet.