Category: Journal

Alien Pig Farm issue #2 hits the shelves next week. Issue #4 goes to the printers tomorrow so my work here is done (as a matter of fact, Jason just sent over the final lettering proof for…proofing). I’ve even made a pass through all four issues toning them down to a PG-13 in the off chance we release a version of the trade paperback for the kiddies. So, I’m free now to return to my home planet. But I’ll be back for Comicon. Tom has a RAW table this year where he, Niles, Bradstreet, myself and the full cast of RAW characters will be hanging out and signing assorted napkins, empty Starbucks cups and breasts.

We all got together at Steve’s house this month to celebrate Ms. Sarah’s birthday. I had a couple meetings earlier in the day so Mel and young Izzie Rain stayed behind. In retrospect, wish they hadn’t. But a six hour drive one way is tough on the fembot and you always feel nutty showing up to a party with an 8 month old. Of course, the Niles clan wouldn’t have cared, in fact, I’m sure the cylon would have provided plenty of entertainment…so..next time. That said, there are rumors we may be considering a move back to LA. The HORROR!

This was a fun moment. Bradstreet, who seems incapable of breathing or having carnal knowledge without his camera nearby, herded the usual suspects into Niles’s garage for a Bernie Wrightson photo shoot. It’s an update on a photo of Bernie taken back in the 80s I’d guess. I just remember looking around during the shoot, thinking…how cool. You had Tommy Jane lying on the floor left, I was on the floor right. Niles, Sarah, Lieb from Fox Atomic and John Wrightson all lending a hand. Liz may have been there as well but it’s all a teeny bit foggy as I was a few beers in.

Next day it was back to Pacific Grove. It’s been nutty around here with a dozen different development projects in the works but the ability to walk down to the ocean completely reboots the brain. And yes, we’ve been discussing a move back to LA…well, more likely Thousand Oaks. We lived in LA for 10 years and both feel we’ve paid our dues. And although PG is wonderful…we’re sort of out of the loop. Spontaneous business lunches are out of the question from here. Any party or simple gathering is a 24 hour commitment/adventure. We’re still in negotiations so no final decisions are made but we’re just giving Thousand Oaks residents a heads up in case they want to relocate before our arrival.

I don’t know. We could try renting two places again but it’s bad enough throwing away one chunk of monthly rent. Two seems just silly. If we do move back I would certainly miss our ocean walks. And Bubba Gumps. Mel and I had seafood. Izzie had a beer coaster. I think she’d miss the beer coasters. And yes, I know LA has beer coasters too but they taste like anorexic actresses.

And tell me this, what is the deal with the speeding up of time when an infant is involved? I wake up, drink my coffee, write a few pages and before I know it the sun has set, Letterman is doing his monologue and it’s time to crash again. My mind is still 18 but my body feels like it’s pushing 63 and by the time I finish this post I’ll be closer to 70. This wasn’t in the brochure. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the creature, nothing I wouldn’t do for her. In fact, when some boneheaded executive passes on a project for whatever amazingly retarded reason I want to grab him or her by the spleen and say, “Yeah, but I have a kid now. I need to buy a Baby Einstein bouncer and season one of Backyardigans on DVD. Where was I? Eh…who cares, moving on.

The creature, also known as the Cylon, Fembot and/or Bossofme has two teeth. They are small and insignificant until she snags your knuckle and chomps down. She likes to yell in public. I can recall being annoyed in past years when someone’s little twerp would yell out in a restaurant but now I find myself provoking it and hoping someone will say something snotty so that I can reveal to my daughter what a wonderfully versatile killing machine her father is. This is another reason to move back to LA because sadly, Puh’Geans are all infuriatingly polite.
Looks like I’ll be pitching two TV shows this season and I’m closing in on a sequel at Ghost House and half a dozen other deals that when all is said and done will require my LA presence. What I need is a teleportation device that will not result in turning one into a fly monster.
Moving on…let’s talk about the journey of Barakkas. I’ve mentioned Dean’s book, well Barakkas is the heavy, the villain, the Darth Vaderkas. And as Dean has had to put up with every detail of my sordid career as well as pages and art from Pig Farm, he has kindly returned the favor with his Nightmare Academy. And in doing so I’ve been blessed…no, honored…no, tolerant of the journey that is Barakkas. The journey taken to bring a creature from the cellar of Dean’s creepy mind into the reality of 2D illustration.

This is how it began. A still photo taken of the creature Dean would later base Barakkas on. A creature of cunning. A creature of madness. Seen here in its unnatural habitat…Buca Di Beppo, if memory serves. Photographic analysis revealed the creature pictured had recently slaughtered and devoured an out of work Cher impersonator. Requests for interviews with CherImpersonatorsOnline were ignored.

Then comes the first visualized interpretation. This from the original illustrator hired by HarperCollins. Barakkas within the Nether with gremlins and hags in the background. This would be the illustration for the inside cover of the book. The illustrator’s name slips my mind or more likely was never recorded into long term memory because sales of Dean’s book will not, in fact, buy me anything German. There were early concerns that the illustration looked too “hellish” and considering this was a drawing from the Nether it occurred to the author (he will like being referred to as the author) that the Nether in the book was described as blue.

Next came the cover. Charlie, gazing through the portal as Barakkas glares back at him. Open the cover and you see the previous illustration. Cool concept. In the end it was deemed too dark. Dark as in creepy rather than without light. So with a publishing date quickly approaching, the author found himself without a cover.

Next came JP Targete’s take on Barakkas. Dean hired JP to design and illustrate many of the creatures in the book for Dean’s website. And a poster of this image was printed and sent along when Dean turned the screenplay into Universal. And while this version is amazingly cool, HarperCollins thought it to be too scary for the book.

Stephen Hickman, known for his fantasy artwork did a sketch for Dean. And this was simply out of a love for the book. Hickman has read a couple versions and simply wanted to be a part of it. Although this is a discussion of the journey of Barakkas it should be noted that the read is fantastic and no surprise that Hickman would love it. No one hates praising Dean Lorey more than I do but I cannot ignore how great the book is. Granted, my friendship clearly provided the inspiration that inevitably turned the dial to 11 but I have that affect on people. It’s just how I roll. However, Hickman wasn’t chosen either. And you’d have to get the exact details as to why from the “Author”. (I’ve decided that for the remainder of this entry we shall refer to Dean Lorey as the “Author”. Think of it like Cher but not like the out of work Cher impersonator because that’s too wordy.)

HarperCollins found a new artist and it was discussed that the color red for Barakkas was considered too devilish, a cooler shade was chosen for the book and JP tweaked his original Barakkas illustration for the website.

And finally artist Brandon Dorman captured just the right feeling for a kid friendly book of adventure wondrous. And that my friends is the journey of Barakkas. Of course, the journey will start all over again once the movie goes into production but that’s just how the world creative rolls.

The Tripper gets released on the 20th. It’s a throwback to the old slasher movies which I couldn’t be happier about. With all the Saws and Hostels and freaky little ghost children running around, it’s about time somebody had the stones to pull out a slasher. That would be enough for me. Toss in Little Ronnie Reagan hacking up hippies and I’m sold.

Pig Farm comes out Wednesday. It will not be at a comic book store near you…unless you pre-ordered. Well, perhaps the bigger city stores. Earth2Comics in LA will have issues but that’s cuz the owner, Carr, is good people and I used to play poker with him. He’s also pals with Niles. But the independent publishers, anyone not DC or Marvel don’t normally get love from the comic stores. The Indy comics do all their business through pre-orders. In fact, my own local comic store isn’t carrying Pig Farm. Duh’g’s comics. It’s actually Doug’s comics but when I look at him I think Duh. I stopped in to say Hi and introduce myself several months back. I told him I’d written a comic with Niles and Jane. Then he interrupted to tell me he wouldn’t be carrying it in his store because horror comics don’t sell. Pig Farm isn’t exactly a horror comic but I was too stunned to speak for the moment. Mel was with me and just as stunned. Together we left. So, sure, maybe Doug won’t be carrying Alien Pig Farm in his store. That is fine. More than fine because at the end of the day, Doug is fat.

But Izzie is cute. Now, a few months back I promised to cut down on the Izzie pics. Understanding that back when I was childless and some of you “parental” types would send me christmas cards with pics of your slobbering children I nearly always tossed them in the can. And more than that, this is a site created for the purposes of my leaving a record of my fabulous journey to stardom. But, every once in a while we at wendago.com will spew unstoppable amounts of Izzie Rain. It will just be an understood part of life. Unavoidable. That’s just how I roll.

Easter this year fell on young Alex Lorey’s birthday. Some might tell you that his birthday fell on Easter. Untrue. Alex’s birthday is steady. Easter, however, is fickle.
I like this picture because it catches momma Elizabeth cheating. She is helping the angelic little child blow out his candles. Cheater.

We drove into Calabasas Saturday for the big Egg Day hunt. Sunday all the kids would run out into the yard to find the eggs that Jesus had hidden the night before. Yes, I jest. Jesus didn’t really hide the eggs.

That night young Izzie Rain decided to pull an all-nighter and keep her loving parents up til dawn. In six months this was perhaps the second time she’d pulled the let’s-stay-up-all-night stunt. She finally drifted off to sleep as the sun rose, at which point Mel and I collapsed with exhaustion. An hour or so later, Mel and I opened our eyes wide at the sound of CREEEEEEAAAAAK. The door was opening. But Young Izzie Rain was not escaping. Nothing as wonderful as that. No, instead it was young Alex Lorey staring into our room with a grin. A grin that said, “Welcome to my world.” No. Don’t. Please. Then Alex let out a MUHAHAHAHA. Thus Izzie Rain sat up and spoke, “Morning? Already? Cool. Let’s roll.”

Izzie Rain cannot speak yet. But if you look closely you might detect the non-verbal pleas for help.

So as I reveal an Easter morning pic of Mel and Izzie, let’s talk movies.
Grindhouse dropped 70 percent its second weekend. Disturbia looks to do 23-25 which is fine. It was a good screenplay. And the trailer looked strong. And with a PG-13 all the kiddies could get in to see it. What’s funny to me is that the current climate around Hollywood has been that horror is dead. Horror wasn’t and isn’t dead, the movies were sucking. You start slapping copycat Saw and Hostels together it’s going to show. Could we please go back to writing and making the movies we are passionate about and stop trying to fit them into a marketing portfolio or track record of recent sells. I’m a freaking redneck from Kentucky. Should I really have to explain this to the boneheads steering the ship? Disturbia is a smart thriller. It’s not a bunch of bells and whistles and neon lights. It caters to good story not what it thinks the paying audience wants to see. Rant over. For now.
Monday’s a big day though. I’m heading into LA to meet with Alex and Chris of Benderspink to pitch a TV show to Fox. Should be fun. I love the story. I love the characters and there’s never been anything like it on TV before. That, of course, is both a good and a bad thing. But I’m keeping the fingers crossed. If you’re not to busy, maybe you’d cross some fingers for me. :)

So let’s talk about Chris Lorey. He reads with a ferocious passion. He read his father’s Nightmare Academy in one night. That’s an accomplishment for a 9 year old. He’s polite. He plays World of Warcraft. His warrior is level 36. Every year he becomes more and more interesting to me. It makes me sad that one day he will go to jail having been framed for a crime his brother committed. When this happens I will be more than happy to stand in as a character witness. Of course, saying this will make me a target of the ever clever, ever evolving criminal mind of Alex Lorey.

Dean introduced young Izzie Rain to Logan Targete. I was fine with the whole thing until I saw JP slipping Logan some condoms.

So, another Easter came and went. Dean took some great pics of young Izzie Rain snatching Easter Eggs from the grass. I asked him to email so that I could post them for posterity. But he has abandoned me.

So, having been up most of the night I was tired. Although Mel swears this is a pic of me giving birth to Izzie.

Although tired, I still hand plenty of energy to blow raspberries in my daughter’s ear. The initial plan was to stay Sunday night and drive back in the morning. But in fear of young Izzie’s staying up all night again I figured it best to drive by moonlight.

We rolled into Pacific Grove during the wee hours. Bathed the creature and hit the sack.

Monday it was back to business as usual. I’ve gone out with a new spec. It went to Ghost House first. And it was a pass. There were reasons for the pass but I’m growing less and less interested in the reasons. Because it doesn’t really matter. It only takes one yes and clearly that wasn’t the yes. After that we went out to four producers. Not sure why only four. I prefer the blitz. I’ve sold one spec during my long and glorious career and that sell was the result of a blitz. Since then every spec I’ve written has been “slipped” to a handful of places at a time. I’m not sure why that is and it’s odd to me that I’ve never asked. It seems like a weak approach. “Here, we don’t feel strongly enough about this to go wide, so we’re sending it to you to see what you think.”
Three of the four have passed. They had reasons. But those reasons don’t matter. Had they wanted to make the purchase those reasons could have been quickly rewritten in a day. Perhaps they passed because the script was “slipped” to them rather than part of an industry wide blitz. There was no sense of urgency. Eh, what do I know.
We skipped sending the script over Easter but went out to four more places this weekend. No reason to worry over it. It’s now out of my hands. Either it will sell or it won’t. All I can do is keep writing and then then write some more.
And by the way, please feel free to check out eBay where my opinions are on sale three for a dollar.

So, where was I? Oh yeah, back to life as usual. Which means a walk to the ocean. It certainly is a wonderful thing to live on the ocean. And a smog free ocean at that.
My emails have increased since The Messengers came out. Back during the Jason X days I was getting several emails a week, some praising the movie, some happily offering advice, others offering hate. But most were asking “How do I break into Hollywood?” And now some of those emails have started up again. And it’s funny. I ask myself that question every day. Near as I can tell, unless you become a brand name you keep breaking into Hollywood every time you get a new job.

On the way back from the Ocean we decided to see how Izzie Rain liked the swing. Jury is still out but we feel confident she liked the swing very much.

Izzie Rain is heavy. She’s two and half feet long at the last measuring. And weighed 19 pounds. That was two weeks ago. When she was tiny we would put her in the sink so that we could go to the movies or out to dinner. But now we’re starting to worry, cuz she’s so big we’re afraid she might actually flop out onto the floor. Oh, we’re not worried that she’ll get hurt because Cylons are particularly hard to wound. But we worry that she’ll then crawl around and get into all our stuff. But don’t go shedding salty tears for us. We’ll deal with it. We all got our crosses to bear.

Sadly, Ms. Melanie threw her back out shortly after our Easter return. This turned into a trip to the Emergency room where mother got a big ol’ glowing shot of valium. Of course, this meant young Izzie Rain would be told no to boob milk for the first time ever. Young Izzie Rain did not like being told no to boob. She is amazingly stubborn. No clue where she got that.
We tried going back to formula but that was a miserable failure. She’s got a heck of a left hook. Don’t cross the girl.
Finally Mel mashed up some bananas, added some formula and that seemed to do the trick.
The following day, Mel decided to live with the pain and dropped the meds. Izzie’s back on breast milk. If there was any doubt, her mother is still an Amazon Warrior.

And I moved my office. Well, I moved my computer. If Izzie’s asleep it’s just too risky for me to sneak into her room when the muse strikes. Granted she sleeps like a rock at night. But why take the risk? And her day time naps are light to say the least. So, welcome to the living room. Sadly we are outgrowing our cute little cottage on the ocean.

Bad Planet was like the little train that could…but got held up. Issue one came out over a year ago but due to the illness of the illustrator the project skidded to a halt. If you take a moment to think about it, pausing a release due to an illustrator’s illness is pretty unheard of. Most cats would have just replaced him and moved on with the remaining issues. But not the girls at Raw Studios. They brought the train to a stop to wait on their teammate. They also feed the homeless and ask that you spay and neuter your pets.
Thing is, they did a stand up thing in a business not accustomed to such efforts. I just think it’s an act worth rewarding. So give your comic book store a ring and have them pre-order for you.

We’re about to hit the trail for our daily ocean stroll but I thought I’d throw out some links for those with way too much time on their hands. Clint over at MovieHole put me through the ringer on his Ask a Celeb article. Celeb. Me. Go figger. It’s a fun read…again if you are really really bored.
And both the Bad Planet and Pig Farm cover got some lovin’ over at Ain’t It Cool within the set report from The Mist. I would imagine the report is amazing although I’m staying away from it. I don’t want to know nothing til my butts sitting in a theatre. :)
Okay, diaper is changed and the stroll awaits. Later lovers.

I’ll be chatting with Mark Walters on episode 17 of Big Fan Boy LIVE tonight. My buddy, artist, Tim Bradstreet will be there and if you’ve ever checked out the show you know it’ll be a hoot. 11pm Eastern/8pm Pacific.
We’ll talk movies, machetes and Pig Farms overrun by aliens. And then we’ll talk about stuff that’s alot more interesting.
Hit the link above to check it out live, chat or even call in. Or download later and make fun in the privacy of your own home. :)
EDIT:
In addition…Clint over at MovieHole.net is running an Ask Todd Questions. I’ll be honest. I’m scared. I know how it’s gonna go. “Why do you suck so much?” “Jason X…What were you thinking?” “Can you get me Dean Lorey’s phone number?”
So feel free to take part in making my life miserable. :)

At a time when one tries to ignore the simple fact of aging, oddly enough that seems to be the perfect time to have college and high school reunions. I’ve received some emails from ancient college and high school friends concerning both. I’ll get all the required information and then depending on current schedules we’ll see where we stand. That’s a polite way of saying I probably won’t attend either. But the world and my moods are ever changing so who knows.

That’s me in the goofy shorts and full head of hair. Solomon on drums, Fortner and Filbeck on guitar…who was the guy on bass? Name’s on the tip of my brain. If I had a high school annual I’d thumb through it, but I burned all my old high school and college annuals years ago during a witchcraftian evening of sacrifice to the Angels of Career Advancement. If you’re horrified get over it. Not only did my career not advance, now I don’t got any annuals. Mark? Mark something? Eh, I can’t remember. Anyway, Solomon I assume took over the family car lot. And I used his name in The Messengers for what it’s worth. Fortner was working with pharmaceutical companies last I heard. Filbeck’s a doctor I think. And as for the forgotten named bass player, I’ve no clue where he ended up. Eh…moving on.

Currently I am stealth typing. Young Izzie Rain is catatonic behind me. One rule we try to maintain in the Farmer house is to never let life get in the way of a good walk along the ocean. We walk the two miles to Starbucks every day. What the walk points out is the massive Baby Boom that’s underway. We pass several dozen strollers, wraps and Bjorns on our journey. We wonder how many of those newly arrived infants are of the Cylon race and will one day join young Izzie Rain in the coming Civil War. Once the evolutionarily advanced leadership is in place, Mel and I are hopeful that we will be looked upon favorably for our part in raising the future Amazon Queen of America 2.0. Then again, we may simply be fracked.
I had a meeting with JR and Rob Tapert at Ghost House last week. They made “The Messengers” but this was the first time I’d met either. As a matter of fact, until recently, they’d never even read my draft. Which I should boastfully mention, they seemed to dig. We discussed some ideas and may join forces down the road.
Development on the TV pilot with Binderspink continues. I’m preparing a pitch for the film version of a Marvel comic and after more moons than I can count, I’m told the Psychopath deal is nearly finished. I’m currently working on the last issue of Lycan and am awaiting notes on a spec I finished last week.

Above is William Stout’s cover for “Alien Pig Farm 3000” Issue #3. Issue #1 hits the shelves next month. The above issue hits in June. Of course, I hope people like it and respond favorably, but selfishly I hope it turns into a giant franchise leading to billions of dollars and the purchase of a house with a big Izzie Rain approved back yard.

And this is Mark Schultz’s cover of Issue #4 which will close out the series. No clue how the pre-orders are stacking up so I’ve no idea if the series will be a success or not but regardless it was a joy to work on. Which is probably why I was so quick to jump on the Lycan series.
Alrighty, I’ve rambled on long enough. I’ve more work to do than time to do it. Love and kisses.