Category: Journal

The Time is currently 01:02:03 04-05-06

I spoke with Luff at Mayhem two weeks back and as one might have expected, I am being rewritten on Clock Tower. Of course, I don’t have high enough clearance to know any of the details. But this is the way it works. At least, I’ve yet to see it go any other way. There’s good and bad news. Good news: at least they believe enough in the project to pump more money into it. Bad News: the risk that the rewrite which will no doubt have my name on it will make me look stupid. All you can do is hope it gets better and sometimes it does. Glass half full.

It’s been over a month since I sent in my little outline to Vertigo/Gold Circle and I’ve still heard nothing from the companies themselves. The managers tell me I’m still in the running but let’s play real for a moment. Every job I’ve gotten has happened within 48 hours. I pitch, I get the job. I’ve yet to see the exception. That doesn’t mean it won’t or can’t happen but I’ve found it’s better to move on.

Say hello to the twins. Now, first off, we aren’t turning our backs on the PC. It’s two Mac VS. six PCs in the Farmer house. But it seemed time to look into all the hype. So we’ve adopted two duel core intel iMacs. So far so good. Beautiful screens and graphics. Most games play flawlessly on them. Some don’t. It seems if a program was designed to take advantage of all the iMac bells and whistles then it outshines the PC. If the program wasn’t designed with the elitus iMac in mind then it ain’t a walk in the park.

It just takes some getting used to. Everything is similar but a teeny bit different. I guess my biggest complaint would be iMac’s need to think for you. It’s gonna do whatever it wants and most of the time not offer you a choice. There are ways around everything but you sort of have to jump through hoops if you want to do something other than the way the Mac wants it done.
One thing that has really been unsettling is how utterly quiet they are. This is a good thing but is taking some getting used to. The Alienware sounded like an aircraft carrier driving down Melrose. And again the screen is simply amazing. The games that do run flawlessly, look gorgeous.

So, I have dove buttfirst back into two old specs. I wrote Riddle Me This shortly after my adventures with Jason had wrapped. The plan was to write a thriller so I wouldn’t get stuck in horror. Of course, these days being stuck in horror ain’t so bad because Hollywood has finally acknowledge horror = money. But I’m still very fond of Riddle Me This. Through it I found ICM as my agency and befriended johnny Hensleigh. But as that chapter closed I find Riddle Me This back in my pocketbook. So a rewrite felt in order. Hensleigh’s take was to spin it into more of an action movie. Not surprising if you look at his action credits. But I’m going back to basics. I have my take and I’m ready to dive in…but there’s a catch. There’s a production company out there who wants to join forces on the development. The script has made the slow crawl up the ladder and we’re now awaiting the Top Dog’s reading and decision. I’m told by management that this is a good thing. But I’m tired of waiting. I’d gotten all pumped up over the rewrite and now I’m scratching me bum in neutral.

While Big Al was vacationing in New York, Elliot, Mel and I hit Pebble Beach. It was the windiest day I’ve seen on the ol’ peninsula. Gorgeous but windy.

There are six or so golf courses in Pebble and that little house belongs to one of the landscapers.
So, let’s talk about the projects I’ve passed on. I passed on the two film version of Witchblade. There wasn’t a ton of freedom with the idea based on finances and I felt they’d be better off without me and my idiosyncrasies. I also passed on Killing Demons. I found out about it on Monday and they needed to make a decision on Wednesday. I had some cool ideas but..eh. And then there’s Amityville II which I’ve tentatively passed on. They came back saying I could take an extra two weeks to come up with an idea but I don’t know.

My current time has been spent on assorted brainstorms and Past Tense. It’s an action/thriller and it’s been around for a couple of years. Any time I’ve pitched the short take the response has been great. But I wrote the first draft too complex as many of my first drafts are. I’ve been taking a step back and attempting to return to basics. The problem is, horror is hot right now and will be until a couple of them flop and the “hot” thing shifts. The goal is to get Past Tense ready to go for when that shift happens. One of my agents is pushing me to finish it. My managers are pushing me to focus on horror before that boat sails. So, I’m doing both.

Right now, the Hostel’s and Saws are still selling. It’s the strangest thing. Hollywood used to look at projects like them with disdain. B movies with little known actors shot for 5 to 10 million. But when those moves open at 20 plus million not including the gigantic monster that is DVD, well, from a standpoint of profit they’re hot.

Allen’s return from New York found us on a new Saturday walk. A tough walk on Pregnant Mel and the recently back surgery’d Elliot. But they persevered.
I love the smell of wood burning fireplaces. It’s currently cold and raining and you can smell the Hickory smoke billowing from every other chimney on the block. It’s a good thing.

As far as inspiration is concerned PG has been wondrous. It certainly has the small town feel as well as a sense of history. The buildings are old and some have a “we still burn witches at the stake” feel to them.
And speaking of small towns, come June, Mel and I are flying back to Kentucky for a family baby shower. My folks, her folks, childhood friends…all under one roof. It certainly promises a fascinating journal entry. But beyond that, dunno how to explain it. With a bun in the oven the desire to be surrounded by family and friends seems stronger than ever.
At the end of this month we have another Ultrasound and are wondering if we’ll see a penis this time.

But until then we shall continue to work and play and take our little walks. Mel’s working on a new children’s book and battling this year’s taxes. When we do take a break we join Dean in the world of Warcraft and battle evil. I’d show you a screenshot but the iMac won’t tell me where it saves them. :)

Mel and I moved to Los Angeles in 1996 and although she has a three month old in the belly oven she likes to say our first child was my career. We loved it, we nurtured it and we even got angry when it didn’t do what it was expected to do…times during which we refused to give it a time out…we spanked it.
And here we are in 2006. Ten years.

In ten years I’ve never received a gift for a job well done. Perhaps that means I’ve simply sucked until now. Perhaps. Or maybe there are politics involved that I’m not supposed to be aware of. Most likely. But my ego likes to think that Anthony and Brad of the Mayhem Project really did consider it a job well done. I thanked them both for the wine and told them we should probably start discussing my cameo in the movie. Brad told me to send him a head shot. So I did.

In any case, the Clock Tower chapter is closed. For now. They may choose to exorcise one of my rewrite options, which Brad said they most likely would. However, that would be both rare and a first for me. Normally you’re simply rewritten. A fresh set of eyes. But the best thing for me to do is move on. Start the next chapter.

But first came the Olympics. Not live, mind you. The Olympics via TiVo. Clock Tower’s polish was written during the live portion so once it was a done deal, Mel and I started the winter marathon. Have I mentioned Vancouver in 2010? Oh, but yes.
Of course, my desire to shift the brain into no-thinking mode was ignored by agents and managers and thanks to their unending beating of the pavement my cup once again runneth over.

With bobsledding and figure skating still imprisoned on the TiVo Mel and I slid into Los Angeles for a string of meetings. Vertigo and Gold Circle had a little thing that sounded interesting. They’d already gone through of team of writers, all of which I’m sure could have done the project justice, but for whatever reason they all got passes. So, I tossed out my 2 cents in the form of a rough outline. That was last Friday and as of yet…nada.

While in the great state of Los Angeles we met Dean at PF Changs and scarfed down spicy Chinese food. I’m very confident that Dean and I are going to turn Thunder into a comic/graphic novel. This isn’t a way of subsidising our income. Truth is, there’s no money in comics for first time writers. At least, it’s pretty rare. In fact, there’s no money in comics for old time writers either. At least, it’s pretty rare. No, we’re doing this for the simple reason that I keep getting sent graphic novels that have been optioned by assorted studios and companies and I’ve yet to read a good one. Most of them are horrible. But for some odd reason a company is more likely to buy the rights to something in print before they’ll buy a pitch or spec. So, here we go.
Truth is, the stuff I’ve done with Alien Pig Farm has been fun. Steve Niles is a wonderfully laid back guy and Tom Jane has been a pleasure to work with. Our artist, Don Marquez, is not only good but smart enough to voice his opinion when he saw the need. It’s been a fun process. Really fun.
Thus, Dean and I are excited about chasing Thunder into the world of comic books. Currently the managers are making calls.

My lovely pregnant wife and I went to the movies to support our friend Kurt Wimmer’s movie. Just our way of saying, Kurt, you’re number one with us. The critics were tough on Jason X but not nearly as tough as they’ve been on poor Kurt. Needless to say, Mel and I had a blast and at the end of the day that’s really what matters.
Sleepers is still moving forward at Tokyopop. Paul took the three book storyline to his fellow editors and the pow-wow went great. We’re supposed to see samples from assorted artists this week.
In all these submersions into the comic book waters the ultimate goal is getting a movie made. Attracting a studio or company who wants to make the story. Again it simply seems easier to get the right attention with a book than with a pitch or spec. Thus the creation of Alien Pig Farm, Thunder, Sleepers and whatever others pop up down the road.

We still take our Saturday walks with Allen and Elliot and I find myself really looking forward to these simple small town outings. Although you can’t live here long without noticing the strong aroma of small town politics. This is not an easy town to live in as a result. In the months since we’ve been here I bet we’ve seen ten business open and close on Lighthouse Avenue. Sad really. It could have something to do with the housing costs. A million bucks for a 2 bedroom, 1 bath does seem…stupid. Residents wonder why so many business go out of business. Hello? Can you say, “basic economics”?
However, it’s so hard to bite the bullet and move back. The air is clean, the worst crime in the area consisted of the three stolen ten-speeds and the people are normal. Yet, I just can’t wrap my head around a million dollars for a thousand square feet. At least in LA that will only cost you half a million. Do I sound perplexed? Good, feel free to cuddle up to my misery. For now it just seems easier to rent two small places six hours from each other.

At least this way I get two Melrose places. One where I get the jobs and one where I write the jobs. Seriously, which Melrose would you rather live on?
With all the work crossing my desk there was one very interesting script. I went in last week to pitch my rewrite and I think it went great. I normally leave pitches having no clue but this one was different. There was a jolt of excitement in the air. I’m curious to see what happens.
And tonight I work on a film pitch for…you guessed it, a graphic novel. The story is, they need a writer by Wednesday. No clue why. I don’t have that level of clearance. I have some ideas and if they can solidify by tomorrow then we’ll set a meeting and pitch them by hump-day.

And through it all, Mel and I will continue to have our morning walks for coffee and/or breakfast in our small town, where the food is good, the people are gooder and the ocean waters are blue.
In the coming weeks I’ll lock myself in the dungeon and work on my Riddle and Past Tense rewrites or any of the numerous aforementioned projects. And we’ll continue to nurture the little bun in the oven in preparation of hearing the words, Mommy and Daddy…or Mumsy and Papa if we find ourselves rich and snooty before the little tike is speaking.

In the end, we just don’t know the exacts of the next chapter. And that’s just fine with us.

Oh, man, Donnie Knotts passed away Friday night. In high school I was in the Andy Griffith Show fan club. Yeah, sounds goofy but this was Kentucky and therefore completely acceptable. Not to mention Benton and Mayberry are nearly the same place. And both are roughly three miles from Mount Pilot. I think Brad Miller was the President of the fan club in high school, which is funny considering in college Brad Camp was President. Perhaps it’s a “Brad” thing.
Rest in peace, little fella.

I finally finished the polish draft on “Clock Tower”. And what a long hard road it has been. But Brad Luff (who may or may not have been President of an Andy Griffith Show fan club) read the latest draft and wasn’t shy about offering praise — which I’m not used to. Mel read it and threw up in her mouth a little bit. But that may be due to the pregnancy. Luff did mentioned a couple of minor tweaks which I’ll address tomorrow since they’re doable in a day. Then it’s out to directors and if all goes well a shoot date set for June.
Tokyopop was pleased with the changes made to the “Sleepers” outline but mentioned official comments and questions were coming. That sounds like more notes. I hope I’m wrong. If I ain’t, then I predict I’ve reached the limit on the amount of free outlines I’m willing to do on this project. So, either the lawyers will jump in and start painting contracts soon or I’ll be moving on to something else.
I have three pitches this week. One is for a rewrite. One is for a two part film based on a comic. The other is based on a video game. I also have two general meetings. Vertigo and Contra.
And hopefully I can start the Riddle Me This rewrite this week.
I’ve also started a new spec which I’d love to find time for.
Now it’s time for stream of consciousness ramblings…

The other night a bird pooped on Mel’s head.
Speaking of poop, let’s talk about Dean Lorey. Okay, enough about Dean Lorey.
Lussier’s up in Canada and starts shooting “White Noise II” this week. He sounds pretty excited and happy with his cast. I’m sitting here looking at his IM away message which reads, “shotlisting”.
Back to Dean, he finished his rough draft of “Father Knows Best”, his Ray Romano comedy. I read it and laughed out loud. Mel read it and threw up in her mouth a little bit. But that may be due to the pregnancy. Dean’s also pitching a big TV show this week. It’s a brilliant idea. Here’s to hoping the powers that be are smart enough to recognize brilliance.
I placed an order with Gene the Dedkid. When it comes to hockey masks made famous by doods with machetes, I only wear those with the Dedkid stamp of approval.
Dean and I are talking about turning one of our old specs into a comic series and I’ve been bugging Spiegel about hooking us up with one of his artists.
APF 3000 should be well on it’s way to a completed first issue but I haven’t seen any new art since my last journal entry. I’m guessing Tommy Jane’s off shooting something and hasn’t had a chance to forward anything new. I’ll email him later.
My buddy Bode Miller has accomplished absolutely nothing lately and plans to accomplish absolutely nothing any time soon.
My father has a girlfriend. He sounds happy and that’s good enough for me.
Currently the wind is blowing up a storm outside. The rain is falling horizontal. Needless to say the seagulls are none too pleased.
I haven’t played World of Warcraft in over a month. I played Dungeons & Dragons online beta but it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. But that may be due to Mel’s pregnancy.
The Messengers release date was pushed from August 06 to January 07. I’m told this has to do with Marketing. Apparently some genius with a degree in business has been able to convince everyone that January is a great month for horror movies. And it is too. Until it isn’t. The male lead in the Messengers, a farmer by the name of Roy Solomon, was named after two boneheads I buddied around with in high school. I was thinking about them recently due to the fact that all three of us have lost a parent over the last twelve years. Never a dull moment in this dust-covered life we live.
Both TiVos are filled with the Olympics which I’ve been playing catch-up on this weekend. I so love the Winter Olympics. Mel and I will be in Vancouver this time four years from now.

Mel and I head back for our next ultrasound this week. I’ll post pictures if and only if a penis is visible.
What is going on with this whole pregnancy thing? Why am I the one feeling sick in the morning? Why am I suddenly craving foods I’ve never liked? I have never liked Chicken Pot Pies. Now if I smell one in the oven I start lactating. And why are my nipples so sensitive?

I’d shush you but she sleeps like a rock. Gorgeous though, ain’t she?
The years together have forged one amazing story. Hearing parts of our story is tough. Grown men have cried. Some hear our story and feel compelled to purchase a puppy. Sometimes after hearing our story the phone rings and someone tells you you’ll die in seven days.
We’re on year 13. And 13 has always been a good number for us.
We’re healthy, happy and wise. And good looking. And humble. We go grocery shopping at 3AM. We buy our coffee from a Starbucks on the ocean where the employees know us by name. We make a living doing what we love to do. We don’t have a Burger King but we have Toasties, Peppers and the Red House Cafe. We got a bun in the oven and a honey baked ham in the fridge. Life is good, no? And on top of everything, Mel ordered a maternity shirt that reads “Knocked up”. I mean come on. How cool is she?

What do Angelina Jolie, Katie Holmes and Melanie Farmer all have in common? Besides the whole tall, brunette and hot thing.
Okay, I’ll tell you.

They are ALL carrying MY CHILD!
We had our first ultrasound last week. I’d post pics but the child is nekked.
If it’s a boy we’re going to name it Dean.
After Dean Riesner.
If it’s a girl, we’re going to name it Dean.
After Dean Lorey.

I’m pretty excited. I hear Mel’s boobs will get bigger. And Lord knows she needs more in that department. If the child grows in proportion with the food available then we’re in trouble. You can’t throw a duck without hitting boob around here. And by Golly Ms. Molly that’s the way we like it.
And speaking of the boob challenged…what is going on with Gray’s Anatomy? That last episode was a piece of crap. I’m not going to get into it though because I’ll just get angry at the hour of my life that I’ll never get back.

We’d been procrastinating that whole house buying thing. The freedom to just up and go at any moment was always nice. But now we gotta settle down. It’s not just about us anymore.
So we found this nice place for sale. It’s almost a thousand square feet and it’s only slightly over 800,000 dollars.

It’s move in ready. I mean if running water and Ebola aren’t important to you. And they’re not important to us.
Hey. Have you ever stumped your toe? Been tearing through your place and just slammed your toe into something? I did. And I was barefoot too.

We were rushing around in preparation to see Johnny Cleese at the Sunset Center in Carmel (I wasn’t supposed to take a picture. So I hunkered down, real low, turned off the flash and snapped one anyway. Imagine that).
But my toe was hurting. Because I didn’t just stump my toe on the coffee table or the corner of a chair.

No. I stumped my toe on a saw.
Spiegel’s saw to be exact. He’d loaned it to me so I could resize a closet shelf. We’re not talking about a new, sterile saw. we’re talking old. Covered in rust and dirt and cobwebs. Jesus built a patio with this saw. Of course, Spiegel’s Jewish so we’re talking about Jesus the Prophet, not Jesus the Savior. In any case, it was an old saw. Old yet orally hygienic. She still had all her teeth. Had it not been for the toenail on my pinkie toe I probably would have severed a digit. There was more blood than that time Mel tried to stab me with a kitchen knife.
I’m fairly certain I let loose a long reverberating tenor note when I first made contact. Mel was yelling, I was yelling. She was screaming that I would need stitches. I was screaming that I’d never moonwalk again.
In the end we just wrapped the thing until I couldn’t feel anything below the knee and then ran off to see Johnny Cleese.

On the work front, I can’t get much done without coffee. We have five different coffee joints in the area. All extremely unique and all make excellent coffee. So everyday we grab a different coffee and then I slide into my dungeon to work.
Marquez is doing inks on APF issue one. My part is done unless we end up needing changes on the latter issues — which I really don’t see happening.
“Sleepers” books one, two and three went to New York last night and on to Paul at Tokyopop today.
After a powwow with the management team, we’ve decided to scrap “Past Tense” and revisit “Riddle Me This”. I’d like that.
Friday I’ve a meeting with Vertigo to discuss a secret project I’m calling, “How to Make Love Like a Screenwriter”.
I finished “Possessed” and will hopefully be doing something on “Psychopath” following the polish on “Clock Tower” which I started today. Where I come from they call that a run-on sentence.
I assume I missed half a dozen moments of importance but I hear the shower running so I’m gonna go get nekked.