Think back to High School. Remember that big kid who hung out in the smoking area? The one who loved shop class a little too much? He lurked around with that blindingly white coin slot always visible from the rear? Did you know he also liked to blow things up? Growing up on his block was not unlike growing up near Sid, that nasty little kid from Toy Story. Well, that was high school. Sid’s all grown up now and he’s working in Hollywood in the area of pyrotechnic effects-basically he makes stuff blow up real good.
The writer has a lot in common with Sid. We both make stuff blow up. Sid is very good at his job. It’s a dangerous job. If Sid screws up, people get hurt. If the writer screws up, people just get bored.
We certainly love to watch action on the big screen, but reading it can be horribly boring and that’s something the writer should deal with. Thus in our own way, we have to figure out how to make stuff blow up “real good”.
First, I guess we need to consider the Reader. The agent, producer, executive, actor, assistant, etc. They are “the” Reader. The Reader is the being that inevitably gets your words to the big screen. And the Reader nearly always has a stack of scripts on his or her “to read” list. You may have the most brilliant story, the most intriguing plot and/or the ultimate in interesting characters, but if the Reader gets bogged down while reading your action, then you may end up chunked into the pass pile.
So, here are some tricks I use. I didn’t come up with them. I picked them up along the way and they’ve proven pretty useful.
First, let’s talk about what you don’t want. What you don’t want is the above. You don’t want several thick blocks of action and description. Is that bad? Does it make one a bad writer? Of course, not. But we’re talking about creating something specifically targeted at a person who must read a dozen scripts a day. We’re talking about creating a sales tool. Every meeting is a sales meeting. Every script a sales tool.
Don’t bog yourself down in description.
Nothing slows a script down more than a thick chunk of action, but sometimes it is necessary. For instance when setting up characters or setting up a scene. But, for the most part, if it’s not important to the plot or to your character’s development-then hit delete. You may love colorful prose (as many of us do) but in the fast food world of the Hollywood movie the quick and easy read sometimes outweighs E.B. White.
And one thing that goes hand in hand with the above is-
Don’t step on the director’s toes.
One example is the ringing phone or the lighting of a cigarette.
INT. HIGH RISE APARTMENT — NIGHT
Slappy pulls himself from the couch and removes a pack of smokes from his jacket pocket. He glances around then crosses to the mantle and retrieves a half-empty box of matches. He lights a smoke then moves to bar and picks up the phone. He dials.
Or
INT. HIGH RISE APARTMENT — NIGHT
Slappy lights a smoke, snatches the phone, dials.
Unless matches on the mantle or the phone at the bar are relevant to the plot or to the character, then let the director decide where and how the actor does what needs to be done.
I saw Tequila Sunrise the other day, so it happens to be fresh in my head. There’s a good example of the phone and the smoke.
Here’s where things are when the scene opens. Michelle Pfeiffer has learned that Kurt Russell (the cop who she’s been sleeping with) has been using sex with her to gain info about Mel Gibson’s drug business. Russell shows up at Pfeiffer’s restaurant to apologize. And he does a pretty good job of it. I believed him and it looked like even Pfeiffer was buying it.
Then the phone rings.
Pfeiffer crosses to the other end of the bar and answers. She talks quietly. Russell stands, approaches, but innocently takes a pack of matches from a bowl next to the phone. He just wants to light his smoke.
Then Pfeiffer sees the open book of matches in plain sight back where Russell had been sitting. She and we know he’s full of crap. He needed an excuse to eavesdrop.
The action lines in this case are clearly story and character driven. If they are not, then let the director deal with the where’s and how’s.
Also, It’s not your job to compile the soundtrack.
Nearly every script I read from a new writer is full of music titles. What does music have to do with blowing things up? Nothing. It’s not our job to select the music now matter how brilliant we think our choices are. And it can cause the reader to slow down and you don’t want that. Unless you are Cameron Crowe then don’t expect the juke box in the bar to play your choice of Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”. There are a couple of reasons not to do this.
1. The simplest reason is, it’s not the writer’s job.
Toby Emmerich is the head of New Line. But look up his filmography. He was the executive in charge of music on dozens of films. It was his job to choose the music. The music that fits the scene when you write it may be completely wrong when the scene gets shot. But even that is irrelevant. The biggest issue is cost. It’s the executive in charge of music who selects the best song for the finished product at the right price.
2. What if the reader doesn’t know your song selection?
You don’t want the reader stopping in the middle of the flow to think about who Fastball is and how “Out of My Head” may or may not go.
Is there an exception? Maybe. I think there is. The exception is when your hero or your heroes sing. It’s an exception in my book but only slightly. Other writers may disagree.
Ben Affleck lifts Liv Tyler and begins singing “Jet Plane” to her just before he blasts off in a space shuttle. I think it’s relevant. Affleck’s singing to Bruce Willis’ daughter just drives the wedge deeper between he and Affleck. When Buscemi, Duncan and Campbell join into me, it’s funny-it’s fun-endearing even.
I personally think the moment adds to the characters and the story, thus I call it the exception. But, it’s still treading thin ice. Because the fact is, if the scene were cut, the story and characters would not suffer. However, I’m a fan of heroes singing so I call it my exception to the rule.
And it should be noted, that I have no idea if the original writers started with “Jet Plane” or started with “Jet Airliner” or “Major Tom” or “Ticket to the Moon” or something completely different. And I don’t think it matters. What matters is the moment. The hero sings to his girl. Buddies sing in a bar. Etc. Pick a relevant song. The words are read in the dialog, but at the end of the day, if the moment works, the executive in charge of music will have the final say.
But, in our discussion of writing action and making stuff blow up real good, I stay away from anything that might cause a hiccup in the reader’s flow. Peppering a script with assorted musical references can be a bad case of hiccups.
Break up the action.
To me, this is the most important part. And I don’t think it’s anywhere near as easy as I am about to map out. To some degree it will boil down to common sense and your own gut instinct. But, here it is
Remember when Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt find the Killer’s apartment in Seven? The Killer shoots at them then bolts. What follows is a long, exciting chase sequence. On film that stuff is great. On paper it can be boring.
Every fight scene in Gladiator certainly gets the heart pumping when we watch it. However on the page, that stuff can be boring.
Break up the action with sounds, reveals, shots and characterseven dialog. Here’s where the common sense and gut instinct come into play. You don’t want to do this too much. You mainly want to do it when you hit thick chunks of action within your story. Any action-heavy areas that could bog down the reader. Here are some examples:
INT. FAT LOU’S BAR AND GRILL
Neon beer signs, black lights, a disco ball missing a dozen mirrored squares. Unfortunately, the decor does little more than help to illuminate this shithole and its tattooed patrons Bikers, roughnecks and rednecks Oblivious to it all, Slixx and Thrace slow dance to the Honky Tonk Music BLASTING from the bullethole riddled juke box So lost within each others eyes, they do not notice Benny glaring at them from the bar He glances at his watch and smiles as an EXPLOSION suddenly rocks the exterior of the bar Panic ensues as some patrons SCREAM, others hit the deck, others pull assorted weapons and rush from toward the exit.
For the most part, there’s nothing wrong with the above. My style wouldn’t write it this way but there are styles that would. I would break it up. How much is up to each writer and his own personal style.
Sounds
INT. FAT LOU’S BAR AND GRILL
Neon beer signs, black lights, a disco ball missing a dozen mirrored squares. Unfortunately, the decor does little more than help to illuminate this shithole and its tattooed patrons Bikers, roughnecks and rednecks Oblivious to it all, Slixx and Thrace slow dance to the Honky Tonk Music BLASTING from the bullethole riddled juke box So lost within each others eyes, they do not notice Benny glaring at them from the bar He glances at his watch and smiles as
KA-FOOM
an explosion rocks the exterior of the bar. Panic ensues as some patrons SCREAM, others hit the deck, others pull assorted weapons and rush from toward the exit.
Reveals
INT. FAT LOU’S BAR AND GRILL
Neon beer signs, black lights, a disco ball missing a dozen mirrored squares. Unfortunately, the decor does little more than help to illuminate this shithole and its tattooed patrons Bikers, roughnecks and rednecks
MOVE TO REVEAL
Slixx and Thrace oblivious to it all as they slow dance to the Honky Tonk Music BLASTING from the bullethole riddled juke box. So lost within each others eyes, they do not notice Benny glaring at them from the bar. He glances at his watch and smiles as
KA-FOOM
an explosion rocks the exterior of the bar. Panic ensues as some patrons SCREAM, others hit
the deck, others pull assorted weapons and rush from toward the exit.
Shots and or Characters
INT. FAT LOU’S BAR AND GRILL
Neon beer signs, black lights, a disco ball missing a dozen mirrored squares. Unfortunately, the decor does little more than help to illuminate this shithole and its tattooed patrons Bikers, roughnecks and rednecks
MOVE TO REVEAL
Slixx and Thrace oblivious to it all as they slow dance to the Honky Tonk Music BLASTING from the bullethole riddled juke box. So lost within each others eyes, they do not notice
BENNY
glaring at them from the bar. He glances at his watch and smiles as
KA-FOOM
an explosion rocks the exterior of the bar. Panic ensues as some patrons SCREAM, others hit the deck, others pull assorted weapons and rush from toward the exit.
The above may or may not be brilliant. It’s there only to show examples of breaking up a thick chunk of action. I can’t tell you when to do it, how often to do it or which break example to use when. It’s up to each writer. Go with your gut.
Although it may seem illogical to break up the flow of action with the above, you end up pulling the reader through the action much faster.
I mentioned you could do this with dialog as well. Think of an action sequence from Twister or Jurassic Park or Titanic, etc. You may remember lines like, “Run!”, “Get down!”, “Go! Go! Go!”, “Watch out!”, etc. For the reader, that stuff breaks up the action. I personally think most of that stuff should be cut during the shoot, but for the read, there are times when it will help.
In action, cap all sounds
Sometimes you need to draw attention to certain events, such as sounds. A phone RINGS. Water DRIPS from the bathroom faucet. Slappy looks up as he hears the approaching FOOTSTEPS.
You’re doing this for production reasons, but I personally think it helps the read.
Make up sounds
Don’t always say, “The car explodes.” Sometimes hit the “enter” and type KAFOOM or KA-FWAM or SCHU-BOOM.
If your hero punches a guy suddenly then sometimes hit the “enter” and type, WHAM!
Don’t let the bad guy constantly cock his weapon. From time to time, hit us with a: CHK-CHICK.
Don’t always trip and hit the ground, it’s good to sometimes go: KUH-THUMP.
Underline isn’t just for dialog
Use Underline in action when you want the reader to take special notice of something. If you’ve got something that is important to the plot and you don’t want the reader to skim over it then underline it.
Now, take all of the above and mix it into a big pot. Add two parts common sense and one part your own style then add a pinch of luck you’ll be making stuff blow up real good.