Angry Hellraisers…driving

Before we dive into August let’s talk now. First, my buddy Matt Thompson recently moved to LA and landed his first GIG. Took me 3 years to land my first gig and that was considered fast when the average falls somewhere between ten years and never. Matt has been a friend a reader to me. One of the select few you go to for thoughts before handing a script in and I could not be more proud.

My favorite movie website is Brian Collins’s HORROR MOVIE A DAY. If you are a horror guy or gal and aren’t following this site then you simply aren’t serious about horror. Brian is that guy who walks point in the war. He’s the guy who watches the movies so we don’t have to. You should all go. And then you should thank him. He provides a service. He saves you time and money and sanity. Bless him.

Okay…now for AUGUST!

But first…at the end of July, Bob called Patrick. They played phone tag. We had neither reached out nor heard from TWC since the whole H3D thing went down at the end of ’09. So we were, to say the least, curious.

The little house was working out smashingly. Right up the hill from Mel. Izzie liked it. Mel liked it. I liked it.

On the 3rd of August, Kerri sent me a list of Australian slang. This was to assist as Dean Lorey and I made our pass to “Australian-ize” THUNDER. Aussie slang’s not unlike American slang. Cept they use “cunt” a whole lot more.

I’ve mentioned that F.J. DeSanto and I are writing a comic book. On the 4th we got page 16’s artwork. I love our little story. F.J. has been knocking it out of the park. Federico Dallocchio has been nailing the artwork. And we ended up with the perfect editor in Ben Abernathy. He got it. And his every question either caught our screw ups or made the script better. Really has been a flawless process so far.

BREAKING: Nic Cage is a badass. That is all.

Actually that is not all. In August Patrick continued to feed me cuts of the film. It should be noted that this ONLY happens when your partner is the director…and likes you. And even though it’s no secret we are an all encompassing creative partnership, the suits tend to forget me. At this point all you can do is laugh it off. Patrick will CC me on everything…yet nearly all replies will mysteriously not include me. It’s not just me by the way. I’m a likable enough guy. It’s the writer’s curse. For whatever reason…the folks steering the ship really don’t want us eating at the adult table. You really should consider this before pursuing the field of screenwriting.

But Patrick still loves me and that’s all that matters. As a result I always had access to the film. And I love the fact that I could go to Starbucks with the latest cut of the film on my iPad (Don’t steal my iPad reason number one: It has a passcode you will find annoying. Don’t steal my iPad reason number two: I recently nuked all versions of the film from the little thing). With each viewing the film looks better and better.

Meanwhile in the continuing story of Australian film: Kerri and I talk with our Australian producer about the sudden surge of 3D films. As of August there were 60 3D films scheduled for release over the next two years. And that number just keeps growing. And while new 3D screens are constantly being added…there’s still only a limited number. So if three studios want to release three big movies…with 2000 to 3000 3D screens…well…someone is going to lose. Because so far, 3D still doesn’t have the numbers. Eventually this issue will go away…but for now it’s a real concern.

THEN there’s the simple fact that audiences aren’t stupid. This is a fact studio heads and execs don’t seem to comprehend. Due to a couple of 3D movies that saw amazing success…well…everyone jumped on the wagon. It’s what Hollywood does. Copycat. Kevin wrote SCREAM. It made 100 million and soon everyone was doing self-aware horror. Problem is…not everyone is Kevin. And the ripoffs tend to suck. Same for 3D. Bunch of crap 3D hit the screens. Sales have declined. Some execs are saying the fad is over. The novelty has passed. Morons. Stop making crap and people will go.

Every day in August is a challenge on Drive Angry. But I can’t tell you about it because it would require me to reveal assorted morons and morons do not like to called morons publicly. Needless to say, Patrick goes without much sleep. Daily. Is constantly bombarded. Is constantly having to think his way around obstacles created by people on our team. It is, in my opinion, the WORST part of the Hollywood process. Any other director and we’d be in trouble. But we’ll survive it because of Patrick. We’ll take a hit or two. But we’ll survive it.

Mel and I get a babysitter. What this translates to is, friends. Being a tiny bit human again. And while Mel and I aren’t together, we’re still best friends and business partners. We still NEED to go out and see movies. And we gotta eat.

After a week of phone tag, we finally learn the reason for Bob’s call: HELLRAISER. Well, this will excite and annoy sections of the horror world. We had actually pitched a take of Hellraiser a year ago. Over a year. In fact, we pitched Bob three movies at the same time. H3D, HELLRAISER and SCANNERS. And throughout the whole HELLRAISER discussion, H3D never came up. We still scratch our heads at this, because the script for H3D is just…well…just sitting there. We’re pretty certain Bob never read it. But perhaps August wasn’t the time to ask. Bob was clearly VERY excited about Hellraiser. Plus, Patrick and I love Clive and love the original. With Bob this excited, someone was gonna make it. May sound arrogant but I trust us.

So Patrick and I started talking about our old pitch…and…it changed. It became…hard to describe. It gained a life of its own. As a writer…when the story…or the characters…or both…break out of your head and start doing stuff YOU didn’t see coming. Stuff you DID NOT plan. Well. That’s when the magic truly happens.

On the 8th I get a proposal from Thomas Jane and his lawyer concerning Devil’s Commandos. Recall, Tom and I, in the last few years have had a stormy relationship. We buried the hatchet at comicon. Decided we’d all move forward as partners. But this proposal didn’t strike me as very partner friendly. It was pretty standard. Writer writes, owns nothing. I chat with lawyers and would end up taking the month (and longer) to “consider”.

On the 13th we get an email from one of our agents concerning HELLRAISER. And it made me laugh. A full, deep throated laugh from the diaphragm.

“We spoke to Matt Signer just now. They will be indeed making an offer for you guys to write and Patrick to direct. I told them to be prepared to back the truck up to our office. Matt laughed nervously.”

What would follow was hours of debate between lawyers and agents as well as Patrick and I. Do we trust them? Do we want to follow Drive Angry with Hellraiser? So many questions.

In the end it would come down to Patrick and Bob. They go back. 20 something movies together. They are…family. Always will be. Warts and all. In the end it comes down to the devil you know.

But let me elaborate on that. Because the assumption is that Bob’s the Devil…he ain’t. No more than I am. No more than Patrick is. Because here’s the thing to keep in mind when it comes to Hollywood. We’re all dicks. I’m a dick. Huge dick. We just all have different degrees of dickishness. Millennium is cheap…but they left us alone creatively. It’s the devil we know. We KNOW how to work in their world. And as a result…we’ll do it again. Bob has his own cons. But we KNOW how to work in that world and will continue to work with him. Same goes for Lions Gate. We KNOW how to work in the Lions Gate world and as a result we’ll work there again. But there are some…some we will NEVER work with again. Their dickishness simply doesn’t justify the reward. I’ll likely mention them later. Not now.

Just understand…if you know someone in Hollywood…don’t be fooled by their polite political demeanor. They have either eaten a baby, kicked a puppy, punched an old person or had sex with their best friend’s girl. Twice. It’s the Hollywood way. In Hollywood you don’t bring a knife to a gunfight…you bring a lawyer. And some heroin. Okay, perhaps I under-exaggerate a little. It’s much worse than that.

Nearing the middle of the month, Patrick screens the movie for Dean. I recall it being a crazy night. Dean was on the TV show SOMETHING WILDE which wouldn’t wrap that day until like 9-something. Then he got stuck in traffic due to an animal on the freeway (a duck if memory serves). Seems like it was after 10pm of a VERY long day before we even got started. But Dean loved it. He added a comedic beat which still makes me laugh. And his biggest and pretty much only note was to stay on the FX team.

Started going back and forth with my buddy, Andrew, who has been trying to set up an indy western in New Zealand. He wrote a great western. Although a New Zealander, his dialog is so old west authentic, it’s stunning to read. His producers, of course, didn’t get it. Have been forcing rewrites constantly. Still he outsmarted them and nailed every rewrite. So in reward, they tell him they need a “professional” Hollywood polish. Rrrright. Turns out the producer hires bestest buddy. Not Hollywood but another New Zealander who has zero credits. Does a page one rewrite. When Andrew finds out, accidentally, he says no. I’m out. Producers, who have never paid him a dime, say he can’t pull out. That they can do whatever they want to his script. Sigh. So…he’s fighting. He’ll win but it’ll take time and energy. It don’t matter where you are, writers get the shaft.

Middle of the month I saw Piranha 3D. I just…I just didn’t get it. The 3D was bad. BAD bad. Hurty bad. And while most of my buddies LOVED the ride. Loved the over the top of it…I just…I’m sorry but story and characters first. Either be a spoof or be serous. This kept me in some middle void. Anyway, hate to bag on someone else’s movie, especially when so many of my friends, (BenDavid Grabinski), loved it. But I work in the 3D world. Bad 3D makes my life harder. My annoyance is purely selfish.

Izzie is awesome. She’s not like other kids. We’ve discussed this. In depth. She’s awesomer. I don’t spend enough time with her. I’m out of town ALOT. And when I’m writing…well…writing is a solitary occupation. It’s tough to write when she’s here at the house. Because she wants to play. And as much as I like to write…I like to play more. Hide-n-seek is my favorite. Well, I like to color alot too.

But as I mentioned…back in August and even now…I drive into LA alot. And we have been a one car family since I got rid of the Audi in exchange for the Bugaboo. Mel decided it was time.

So I now have wheels of my own. Now when I head to LA I don’t leave the girls taking the bus (which Izzie loves by the way). It’s not new. It’s an ’07. But here’s the smarty smart part. We’d looked at another Audi and my love for the old gal had not wavered these five years. BUT…by going a little older…and a little cheaper…we could take the money saved and use it to restore Izzie’s car.

First of all, that’s not it. But that’s what it will look like when done. That’s what it looked like when Dean Riesner bought it in ’74. Dean was my mentor when I moved to LA. Dean wrote DIRTY HARRY. Dean wrote PLAY MISTY FOR ME. Dean wrote HIGH PLAINS DRIFT. Dean wrote STARMAN. And Dean gave the old caddy to Noel Cunningham for Noel’s 30th birthday. And I’m getting it from Noel to fix up for Izzie.

Oddly enough, I tend to only use the car for LA trips. I run or walk just about everywhere local.

Last half of the month my writer buddy, Andrew is still fighting his producers. Gets a letter from his agent who can no longer rep him. Agent says she has loyalties to both he and the producer and must therefore stay neutral. Or…in coward-speak, “We don’t wanna piss of the producers so you are on your own.”

By the 30th we’ve received an offer from the Brother’s Weinstein. We countered. Aggressively.

So, August was mostly post on DRIVE ANGRY. The buzz was still going strong. The Trailer was out there on the web and although we were nervous about it, folks seemed to like it. The reason for the nervousness was that the trailer revealed more than we ever intended. We structured the story so that the audience would think, Cage played a character who had escaped from prison. Amber’s characters doesn’t find out the truth until over half way thru the movie. But the trailer stated in big white letters, “He broke out of hell” right off the top. To us that was sort of like watching the trailer for EMPIRE STRIKES BACK to find big white letters proclaiming, “Vader is Luke’s father”. Or “If you build it Kevin Costner’s daddy will play ball with you”. Or “That chick in the CRYING GAME has a penis”. Or “Bruce Willis is dead.” BUT…no one, near as I have seen or heard, has called us out for this. It’s just…we actually take this seriously. Had we intended the audience know that from the start…we would have written it differently. That make sense? Does it work, sure? Is it by design? No. Will that always annoy me. Oh yes, my friend, yes it will. But. It is what it is. Welcome to the life of a hollywood stuntman.

So, while I sit in the safety of Pacific Grove, Patrick fights the daily fight. He’s not like other directors. His crew loves him. He’s nice. Never yells.

And it should be noted that none of this was EVER handed to him. He fought his way to the chair. Edited TV, then for Wes and the Weinsteins. Patrick has been in the trenches. He’s not one of those guys who got some early hype or buzz based on some silly article and suddenly was handed a 200 million dollar movie. Patrick started with whatever he could get. He started with tiny budget and made it look double the value. He has honed his craft. He turned 16 million into 100 million with Valentine. And Drive Angry blows MBV out of the water. He works ALL the time. The story is ALWAYS first. The movie is his MAIN FOCUS. He goes above and beyond because over two-hundred cast and crew put their faith in him. A successful movie means they keep working.

It may sound silly that a guy would actually put his crew’s future needs on his list of motivations. But Patrick does. It’s the reason he doesn’t drink. The reason he wouldn’t drive the Charger for fun. He gets hurt, the production shuts down. The man puts his crew and the movie first. And it shows. Oh we’ve had our challenges. We’ve lost a battle or two. And those losses hurt us. Those in power know it. They know they won…but they also know their win cost the movie. But all movies have their crosses to bear. Regardless, our movie is wonderful. It is a GREAT movie and I’m completely proud of it. All due to a fantastic crew, an amazing cast and a director like no other.