Wendago

The month of May consisted mainly of dead bugs on the windshield as I made a guh-zillion trips to Los Angeles. Was it worth it? Dunno.

I finally sat down with Mike Weber at Radar Pictures and told him my take on Amityville II. It was clearly a story that thought “outside the box” and that’s what he liked about it. However, Dimension didn’t like the added cost that “outside the box” created. I was asked to build another story around the parts of my take which they loved while staying inside the box this time. Ugh. Who wants to work inside the box? Inside the box we’ve seen a million times. I played around with it for about a week losing more and more interest until finally I told the managers to pass.

With every return to Pacific Grove, Mel and I would hook up with the PG crew. From left to right, Jeffery owns a Carmel shoe store. Monroe is a taxman from San Francisco. Elliot and Allen we know. The four did college together and I’m considering rewriting my own college history to include them as my alumni.

Then it was back to LA. I met with Bob Kosberg and Bruce Nash. Bruce lives in the world of reality TV. As a writer, I should have perhaps just kicked him in she shins but I ended up joining forces. You know, that whole, if you can’t beat them thing. Bruce had been toying with the idea for a horror flick and wanted to get into the Hostel/Saw game. I put a story to his idea and the agents started to set meetings.
Of course, my agents had some concerns. Thing is, genre films are hard to sell in a pitch. The reasons are simple. There are a hundred thousand genre scripts floating around out there and it’s much easier to spend money on something you can see rather than something that exists in Todd Farmer’s head. But, that’s the business. And I’m pretty good in a room. I jump around and do different voices. My villain speaks with a Russian accent so I pitch him with a Russian accent. You may pass but by the end of it you will have gotten my money’s worth.
Zak Kadison at Gold Circle was first to hear it. Bob did the set up and I pitched the story. Zak loved it, praised my performance and of course passed. Reason: We don’t buy pitches.
Next came Adrienne Biddle at Focus. Loved it. She even has a maquette of a heart with a stake thru it on the back of her desk. If anyone should get the wonder that is gore and severed heads, it would be Adrienne. And she did get it. But she passed. “We don’t buy pitches.” But again she praised my telling and told me the previous writer who had just pitched her had nearly put her to sleep. Praise is great but a check for six figures is always so much better.
And then came Disney. Yeah. I know. I was thinking the same thing. Disney? Walter freaking Disney? Never in a million years would they make a movie like this. But Kosberg had a relationship with Brad Epstein so off we went to the house of the rich rat. And surprisingly enough, Brad loved it. He was jumping around in his seat, reacting to all the disgusting bits and laughing where I’d inserted the humor. It was the perfect pitch.
The thing is, this pitch was always sort of a no-brainer. It’s Field of Dreams soaked in blood. If you sever it, they will come. Everyone gets that. You make it for 5 to 10 million and it opens at 30. Cha-ching, welcome to Hollywood.
Of course, Brad passed. “Walt would roll over in his grave.”

So it was back to PG. Where Mel, oddly enough continues to get more and more pregnant.

But, we can’t fly, so the baby shower in Kentucky has been cancelled. We toyed around with the idea of taking a train. San Francisco to Chicago and then down to Fulton but one way takes four days. 8 days on a train seems a bit extreme for going on 7 months pregnant. Oh well. Life gives you lemons you just gotta make lemonaid. I’m sure Izzie Rain will be more than happy sleeping in a cardboard box.
Soon enough it was back to LA where Kosberg and I sat down with Ashley Brucks of Dreamworks. The meeting started out great when Ashley informed Bob that one of their other projects just got the elusive green light. Great news for them, of course. So, I told Ashley our story. And it went great since she’s a giant fan of Saw and Hostel. But they passed. Although Ashley loves the genre, Dreamworks pays the bills. The Ring is as harsh as they’ll go and we pushed that envelope way beyond.

A quick meeting with FJ to discuss Sleepers where all is moving fast. Tokyopop has chosen the artist who is currently working up samples. FJ and I are now soul owners of the IP and all must deal with us. I should start in on the books by the year’s end.
I also had a meeting with Rupert Wainwright to discuss a script for rewrite. Rupert directed The Fog and the call went really well. I told him what I loved about the script and what I thought we could do to take the story to the next level. He spoke with the producers and the agents got involved. In the world of working writers this is all great news. Then the offer came in. It was…less than impressive. We countered and eventually passed.

On the drive back from LA at around 10:00 that night, 3 hours out of LA and 3 hours from PG my brother, Aarek, called to inform me that Grandad was in the hospital and would have surgery the following day. I called Mel and she worked the internet. The earliest I could get back there would be 3 hours after the surgery. So we decided to wait it out. Guess I’ll always regret that decision.
It bugged me that that Farmer side of the family didn’t get the news until so late but let’s be honest. The others have always disliked the Farmer side of the family. I’m not really sure why. Could be penis envy. The Farmers have always been known for having decent sized schlongs. Yeah, I’m gonna go with penis envy.
A medic in the army, my grandaddy stormed the beaches of Normandy. He used to tell me that his most used medical instrument was a saw and that it wasn’t uncommon to use the thing to amputate at a moments notice. Thus, only a few years shy of 90 he was now in the hospital to have his legs amputated. Call it irony I guess. Or maybe it was something else. The man had been on dialysis for years and gangrene had set in. Sure, I suppose the surgery was justified but I guess you gotta wonder if sometimes it might be better to just let a fella die with legs in tact.
My siblings poured in to see him before the surgery and said that under the circumstances he was in good spirits. Mel and I sent a card through the hospital’s email system and told him the name of his coming great granddaughter.
My grandfather had worked as a plant foreman for several million years. When I was a toddler there was an explosion at the plant and grandad was horribly burned. I remember my parents taking me to the hospital and standing outside as the ambulance arrived. There was my grandad, his face covered in black soot but his big white teeth were glowing in a smile when he saw me. As much pain as he was in, my feelings are what mattered to him. So, he smiled, called me his little buddy and told me that everything was fine.
And that was my grandad, kind, gentle and a worker like few others. He worked at that ol’ plant long after his retirement. He worked in his garden and made sure his yard was the best in three counties. The man would give you the shirt off his back. After Mel and I moved to Los Angeles, every Christmas he’d send us a check and tell us to have dinner on him.
I was the eldest grandkid. Call it timing but it was no secret that I was the favorite. My siblings as well. I pay my bills with creativity and it’s creativity I got from my grandma. My parents would go out to dinner and I’d stay with grandma and grandad and there was always some creative challenge involving construction paper and sparkles. And, of course, I’ve heard countless stories that my mother was the favorite as well. Perhaps favorite is hereditary.
Back at the hospital, my uncle, a preacher, was there and had brought some guru preacherman to play the hell and brimstone card. We’re gonna cut off your legs, George, so you’d better make your heart right with God. Grandad told my siblings that he didn’t like the guy. In fact, the words used were that he hated the guy.
Although Grandaddy George survived the surgery he passed away a few days later. We had just found out that Mel couldn’t fly and I didn’t want to be that far away so I had to rely on the siblings and my father to tell me about the funeral.
Of course the guru preacherman who my grandfather didn’t like was scheduled to speak. My brother, Rikki, approached my uncle and told him that grandad didn’t like the guy, but my uncle got angry and told Rikki that he didn’t really know his grandfather. Whatever. Rikki was simply confused. He thought the funeral was supposed to be about my grandfather’s wishes. Silly boy.
I’m told that Guru went on and on about how mean and stubborn my grandfather was. And how noble the guru preacherman was for trying so desperately to bring evil ol’ Grandad to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And oh, praise man! Praise him for his accomplishments because in the end Grandaddy George sang “Jesus Loves Me” and obviously now his heart swims in Heaven. Oh, thank you, guru preacherman. Thank you for your great works!
There was a slide show of pictures played at the funeral. I’m told that the Farmers were oddly enough missing from the collection.
So, I tell you what…when I’ve reached the end of the journey. Please sell my house, stick me in a nursing home then cut off my legs. Perhaps then I’ll sing “Jesus Loves Me” and all will be right in the world.
As far as I’m concerned this story is far more disgusting than anything Hollywood’s ever come up with.

So, it was back to LA with a swing by Dean’s to see his newly constructed back yard adult play area.

It’s always nice to suffer through a trip to Dean’s Epic Tier 3 house with his matching Tier 3 back yard while knowing that my bank account is hanging within just one of his countless pieces of stupidly expensive artwork.
The only good thing about Dean is that his 8 year-old son is now playing a hunter in World of Warcraft.
So, Kosberg and I met with Alex Franklin of the Weinstein Company. I’ve known Alex from his Lions Gate years and figured this pitch would be right up his alley. Oddly enough Alex passed. Just didn’t click for him. That surprised me and was sad considering Weinstein was one of the few places that actually “would” make this horrid little movie.
Next came Scott at Mandate. A good place for us since my coming-in-January, “The Messengers” was made there. Scott loved the pitch and the plan was to get us over to Ghost House to pitch Raimi’s crew. However, that never happened. Couple weeks later we got a pass.
Then was Jonathan Ruiz at New Regency. Liked the pitch, saw the potential, but passed.
Now in all things Hollywood each of these meeting were rescheduled a dozen times. Screen Gems postponed for the guh-zillienth time so the meeting was set for the 18th. For the first time, I said no. And you would have thought I’d been caught on film doggy styling a doggy. The message that came my way from the Nash office was, “Doesn’t he realize this is an important meeting?” Hah, I guess it’s only important when I need to reschedule. No where near as important when I’ve flown or drove to LA only to have one of you postpone. Regardless, Mel and I would celebrate our 13th years on the 18th and pitching severed heads would have nothing to do with it. Screen Gems would have to wait. Important or not.

13 years and now she’s knocked up. But we’re still doing our morning walks and as she grows out from the belly her insistence to strap 10 pound weights to her wrists has her more than able to whoop me in arm wrestling.

We went to one of our favorite restaurants where I decided that it would be me to first write my daughter’s name on a bathroom wall. IZZIE RAIN!

Of course, we’re still warcrafting. Dean and Mel are playing a bit more than I am but with so many trips out of town it’s been hard to keep up. We joined a new guild. Centered as they call themselves and we raid with them Tuesday and Thursday nights. Perhaps more when time allows.
So let’s talk Paramount. Met with Chad Hamiltion. Nice guy. But he passed before I’d even started the pitch. Kosberg was still doing his set up schpeel when Chad interrupted to very apologetically inform us that there’s no way Paramount would ever make Saw or Hostel or anything like it. But he wanted to hear the pitch. Sigh. I drove six hours to perform a story for no pay. I missed the raid for this! I could have gotten some epic Boots!
Although it was the fastest pass I’ve ever gotten it was another fun pitch. Chad loved the pitch and was quick to praise the story saying that he was impressed that as disturbing as it was, the gore was all plot driven. In the end he called my agents and is currently reading several of my samples.
Then it was off to Hyde Park where we sat down with Patrick Aiello. Patrick loved it and saw the potential profit. He even said if he had the money he’d finance it himself. Again, no-brainer. His boss was in Cannes and unfortunately they already had four genre projects. Convincing his boss would be an uphill battle and sure enough it was. A week later we got a pass.
Next came New Line where we met with George Waud and Jeff Katz. Both had worked Snakes on a Plane and loved the pitch. Katz and I first met while he was a New Line grunt back in the Friday the 13th days of DeLuca. As of yet we’re still in play at New Line but it’s been two weeks. Two weeks with no “yes” makes me think we’re looking at a soft pass.
Screen Gems had been something of a nightmare when it came to rescheduling. We’d been set to meet with Scott Strauss but now he was set to fly to Cannes and we’d have to wait until mid June to pitch. So Kosberg’s office called Eric Beckett to pitch to him instead. But Eric passed on the phone. He said they weren’t buying pitches. Then Scott called back and said he’d squeeze the meeting in before his flight.
We pitched Scott and he loved it (as has been the pattern). But Scott would have to convince Clint and that would be an uphill battle since they aren’t buying pitches. He did wonder how Sacchi at Lions Gate had responded since they had partnered on Hostel. But Sacchi wasn’t scheduled until the following week.
In the meantime, let’s go pitch Warner Brothers, a company known for Batman and Superman, who I was fairly certain would pass before I walked in the door. We met with Geoff Shaevitz and this time Bruce showed up with us. Of course, Geoff passed. “Love the story and you do an amazing pitch but we just can’t make that kind of movie.”
On the walk out, Bruce had concerns. So he gave me a list of things I should change. Basically he wanted to water it down. It was too in your face, in his opinion.
With only two meetings to go, Lions Gate and MTV, both of which would actually make a Saw or Hotel, I decided that I would not water it down and/or change the pitch in the 11th hour. Either someone is going to make a movie about shrunken heads…or they won’t.

It was a quick trip back to PG where we did the ocean walk with Rebecca, Allen and Elliot.
And Mel and I hit the doc’s office to see more pics of our gorgeous daughter. Bummer though. This time no pics. Mel told the doc that all was going well but she was getting some pretty hard kicks. The doc nodded with a look on her face that said, “Yes, I hear this all the time. Stop whining and man up.” So, instead of pictures we had the doc moving a microphone around Mel’s belly searching for the elusive Izzie Rain. Of course, our kid thought it was a game of hide-n-seek/kick-the-Can. The moment we’d hear the heartbeat suddenly there would be a SHCHMACK! Then silence.
Little Izzie was using the full range of her uteral environment to run quick stealth missions on the interloping microphone. The moment the mic would get too close she’d throw a well placed round-house or a solid but fear invoking judo punch…SCHMACK! And vanish like the deadly ninja assassin we no doubt expect her to be. This went on for about ten minutes until the doc was forced to give up through laughter and tears. And admitted, yes, your baby is quite strong and I think you’re in trouble.
IZZIE RAIN! Rock star. Fashion guru. Ninja Assassin.
So it was time for the last LA trip…
Where we met with Sacchi at Lions Gate and he got it. He saw the big idea, the story and more importantly the profit to be made. But the chance of Lions Gate financing this movie is pretty slim. Lions Gate acquires films already made…they don’t make them. The only shot is that Lions Gate and Screen Gems join forces. Now we just wait and see.
Friday morning my PC crashed. Just one more reminder that I should totally switch to Mac. So, I had breakfast with Dean then farted around in the Calabasas Baby’s R Us until my lunch meeting with Brad Foxhoven. Brad and I go back years. Back when he worked for John Woo’s Tiger Hill. I’ve worked Demonik, Psychopath and Possessed with Brad and our current meeting was to discuss two new projects. One may end up with The Rock attached while the other has Depp attached. Brad has joined forces with everyone from Del Toro to the Scott brothers. And based on the ideas I’ll work on these two new projects next week.
Back on the road to MTV…
…where we met with Greg Goldin…well, I met with him. Kosberg was running late as he and Bruce got tied up while having lunch with Penny Marshall. I’d met Greg before, while pitching the video game version of The Suffering to he, Radar pictures and Stan Winton’s people. Kosberg arrived as I was closing in on the third act and as with just about everyone else, Greg loved the pitch. He said MTV would certainly make this kind of movie and that was Friday. So, as of Monday, no word yet.

But the drive back was a good one because for the moment, MTV was my last reason to go to LA. Of course, Saturday we joined forces with Elliot and Allen and walked the ocean. We saw the lawyer and the principal, also known as the Bob and the Rebecca who just gave birth to their second.

And Mel and I drove all over middle California spending money at assorted baby stores.
I also dove into a new spec and have a string of ideas for more. I think June will be the month of writing as much as possible and meeting as little. Of course, there’s still Anomaly to work on. Dean and I are still pushing Thunder into a Graphic Novel and I’m guessing Issue 1 of Alien Pig Farm should be finished any day now. And we ordered the Bugaboo Cameleon so at least Mel will be able to push me around the neighborhood very soon. I got that going for me.

Growing up in Benton Kentucky, once per year we all gathered around the court house to watch the parade and celebrate Tater Day. Tater Day began as a once a year Farmer’s Market sort of event but grew into…well…think the Academy Awards with pigs and horses. Pacific Grove has a similar event once a year. It’s called Good Ol’ Days.

Parade, Vendors, Old cars, topless firemen competing in assorted challenges and the list goes on.
There’s just something about small town people and small town living that melts all stress away. As a matter of fact, the only time I really feel the stress these days are during those trips back into LA. Last week for instance. I had a 3:00 pitch meeting where I would go in and dazzle the powers that be with my take on Amityville II. So at nine in the AM I hit the road. By 1:00 I was tooling through Ventura County. Although I’d hit some rain I was making splendid time. I’d make the meeting with 30 minutes to spare. I’m a fan of being early.
Of course, shortly after 1:00 I got a call from my manager. Although it was confirmed twice, the meeting was now being postponed. I struggled with wanting to kill and accepting the fact that Mel and I made the choice to live so far away and this is and will always be the downside.
So, I took the first exit and pointed the SUV back toward Northern California. Four hours later I was back in PG.
My Amityville meeting is now Tuesday at 11am…unless it’s postponed, of course.

There is something fun about old dudes throwing down. Something comforting about going out for coffee or soup and the locals knowing your name. Living in a small town has me remembering growing up in one.
Since we’re doing the Kentucky baby shower in a month I’ve been calling the 702 area code more and more.
You know, they talk funny.
Anytime I meet someone new for work they nearly always detect my accent and ask where I’m from. But my accent is nothing like it was. So, here’s a quick tutorial.
How to speak Southern:
One syllable words become…two.
Bear becomes Bay-er.
Man becomes May-un.
Hat becomes Hay-ut.
Two words become one.
Over There becomes Oh’vere.
Highly Unintelligent becomes Stupid.
A proper noun can become several words.
Potatoes becomes Them There Taters.
Was is no longer a singular verb.
We was…They was…etc.
And the days of the week are different due Day becoming Dee.
Monday becomes Mondee.
Tuesdee, Wensdee, Thursdee and so on.
Use these rules and you will be speaking fluent Southern in no time.

Lighthouse Avenue fills up during the Saturday and Sunday of Good Ol’ Days. You can purchase everything from steak on a stick to garments made of hemp.
But small town living can only last so long. The next few weeks promise many trips to LA.
A couple of weeks ago I spoke with producer, Bob Kosberg. He’s sort of known as the pitch king because it’s not uncommon to see his name in the trades having set up some deal or another. He had an interesting idea for a horror flick which he ran by me. I tossed some words on paper and shot off an email. Last week I met with he and Bruce Nash to discuss my take. As it turns out, I’m not without talent. Who knew?
Next week the three of us will be bouncing around LA pitching the little story. Gold Circle and Focus are first. Then the Weinstein Company followed by Disney. We’ll hit Dreamworks and end the pitches with Screen Gems and New Regency.
Intercut throughout I’ll be finishing my Monster movie outline for a producer with his own financing. He’s new to the world of film but he’s amazingly creative and having access to non-studio money means fewer hoops to jump through. He was ready to cut a deal after our first meeting but there was a hitch. He doesn’t have a signatory company. Which means he couldn’t hire me as a WGA writer. Therefore he’s creating the new company while I work on our story. He’s worked in music as well as TV animation and has a couple of Emmys to show for it.
Sometimes success is little more than making the right decision as to where to put your precious time. I feel pretty good about this guy so I’m gonna go with the glass half full for now.
Nicole at ICM sent over a pretty interesting script this week. The director is already attached and the script is pretty good. It’s more action movie than horror…think…Underworld or Van Helsing. I’m meeting with the director next week to discuss his ideas for the script.
All in all, the next couple of weeks promise to be exhausting and exciting.

Say hello to Izzie Rain.
The doctor said she was sucking her thumb but it looks more to me like she’s chugging a Mountain Dew…which seems slightly more in character.
For those who are into the whole proper name thing then they can call her Isadora Rain Farmer, but she’ll be Izzie Rain to her momma and me.
:)

The Time is currently 01:02:03 04-05-06

I spoke with Luff at Mayhem two weeks back and as one might have expected, I am being rewritten on Clock Tower. Of course, I don’t have high enough clearance to know any of the details. But this is the way it works. At least, I’ve yet to see it go any other way. There’s good and bad news. Good news: at least they believe enough in the project to pump more money into it. Bad News: the risk that the rewrite which will no doubt have my name on it will make me look stupid. All you can do is hope it gets better and sometimes it does. Glass half full.

It’s been over a month since I sent in my little outline to Vertigo/Gold Circle and I’ve still heard nothing from the companies themselves. The managers tell me I’m still in the running but let’s play real for a moment. Every job I’ve gotten has happened within 48 hours. I pitch, I get the job. I’ve yet to see the exception. That doesn’t mean it won’t or can’t happen but I’ve found it’s better to move on.

Say hello to the twins. Now, first off, we aren’t turning our backs on the PC. It’s two Mac VS. six PCs in the Farmer house. But it seemed time to look into all the hype. So we’ve adopted two duel core intel iMacs. So far so good. Beautiful screens and graphics. Most games play flawlessly on them. Some don’t. It seems if a program was designed to take advantage of all the iMac bells and whistles then it outshines the PC. If the program wasn’t designed with the elitus iMac in mind then it ain’t a walk in the park.

It just takes some getting used to. Everything is similar but a teeny bit different. I guess my biggest complaint would be iMac’s need to think for you. It’s gonna do whatever it wants and most of the time not offer you a choice. There are ways around everything but you sort of have to jump through hoops if you want to do something other than the way the Mac wants it done.
One thing that has really been unsettling is how utterly quiet they are. This is a good thing but is taking some getting used to. The Alienware sounded like an aircraft carrier driving down Melrose. And again the screen is simply amazing. The games that do run flawlessly, look gorgeous.

So, I have dove buttfirst back into two old specs. I wrote Riddle Me This shortly after my adventures with Jason had wrapped. The plan was to write a thriller so I wouldn’t get stuck in horror. Of course, these days being stuck in horror ain’t so bad because Hollywood has finally acknowledge horror = money. But I’m still very fond of Riddle Me This. Through it I found ICM as my agency and befriended johnny Hensleigh. But as that chapter closed I find Riddle Me This back in my pocketbook. So a rewrite felt in order. Hensleigh’s take was to spin it into more of an action movie. Not surprising if you look at his action credits. But I’m going back to basics. I have my take and I’m ready to dive in…but there’s a catch. There’s a production company out there who wants to join forces on the development. The script has made the slow crawl up the ladder and we’re now awaiting the Top Dog’s reading and decision. I’m told by management that this is a good thing. But I’m tired of waiting. I’d gotten all pumped up over the rewrite and now I’m scratching me bum in neutral.

While Big Al was vacationing in New York, Elliot, Mel and I hit Pebble Beach. It was the windiest day I’ve seen on the ol’ peninsula. Gorgeous but windy.

There are six or so golf courses in Pebble and that little house belongs to one of the landscapers.
So, let’s talk about the projects I’ve passed on. I passed on the two film version of Witchblade. There wasn’t a ton of freedom with the idea based on finances and I felt they’d be better off without me and my idiosyncrasies. I also passed on Killing Demons. I found out about it on Monday and they needed to make a decision on Wednesday. I had some cool ideas but..eh. And then there’s Amityville II which I’ve tentatively passed on. They came back saying I could take an extra two weeks to come up with an idea but I don’t know.

My current time has been spent on assorted brainstorms and Past Tense. It’s an action/thriller and it’s been around for a couple of years. Any time I’ve pitched the short take the response has been great. But I wrote the first draft too complex as many of my first drafts are. I’ve been taking a step back and attempting to return to basics. The problem is, horror is hot right now and will be until a couple of them flop and the “hot” thing shifts. The goal is to get Past Tense ready to go for when that shift happens. One of my agents is pushing me to finish it. My managers are pushing me to focus on horror before that boat sails. So, I’m doing both.

Right now, the Hostel’s and Saws are still selling. It’s the strangest thing. Hollywood used to look at projects like them with disdain. B movies with little known actors shot for 5 to 10 million. But when those moves open at 20 plus million not including the gigantic monster that is DVD, well, from a standpoint of profit they’re hot.

Allen’s return from New York found us on a new Saturday walk. A tough walk on Pregnant Mel and the recently back surgery’d Elliot. But they persevered.
I love the smell of wood burning fireplaces. It’s currently cold and raining and you can smell the Hickory smoke billowing from every other chimney on the block. It’s a good thing.

As far as inspiration is concerned PG has been wondrous. It certainly has the small town feel as well as a sense of history. The buildings are old and some have a “we still burn witches at the stake” feel to them.
And speaking of small towns, come June, Mel and I are flying back to Kentucky for a family baby shower. My folks, her folks, childhood friends…all under one roof. It certainly promises a fascinating journal entry. But beyond that, dunno how to explain it. With a bun in the oven the desire to be surrounded by family and friends seems stronger than ever.
At the end of this month we have another Ultrasound and are wondering if we’ll see a penis this time.

But until then we shall continue to work and play and take our little walks. Mel’s working on a new children’s book and battling this year’s taxes. When we do take a break we join Dean in the world of Warcraft and battle evil. I’d show you a screenshot but the iMac won’t tell me where it saves them. :)

Mel and I moved to Los Angeles in 1996 and although she has a three month old in the belly oven she likes to say our first child was my career. We loved it, we nurtured it and we even got angry when it didn’t do what it was expected to do…times during which we refused to give it a time out…we spanked it.
And here we are in 2006. Ten years.

In ten years I’ve never received a gift for a job well done. Perhaps that means I’ve simply sucked until now. Perhaps. Or maybe there are politics involved that I’m not supposed to be aware of. Most likely. But my ego likes to think that Anthony and Brad of the Mayhem Project really did consider it a job well done. I thanked them both for the wine and told them we should probably start discussing my cameo in the movie. Brad told me to send him a head shot. So I did.

In any case, the Clock Tower chapter is closed. For now. They may choose to exorcise one of my rewrite options, which Brad said they most likely would. However, that would be both rare and a first for me. Normally you’re simply rewritten. A fresh set of eyes. But the best thing for me to do is move on. Start the next chapter.

But first came the Olympics. Not live, mind you. The Olympics via TiVo. Clock Tower’s polish was written during the live portion so once it was a done deal, Mel and I started the winter marathon. Have I mentioned Vancouver in 2010? Oh, but yes.
Of course, my desire to shift the brain into no-thinking mode was ignored by agents and managers and thanks to their unending beating of the pavement my cup once again runneth over.

With bobsledding and figure skating still imprisoned on the TiVo Mel and I slid into Los Angeles for a string of meetings. Vertigo and Gold Circle had a little thing that sounded interesting. They’d already gone through of team of writers, all of which I’m sure could have done the project justice, but for whatever reason they all got passes. So, I tossed out my 2 cents in the form of a rough outline. That was last Friday and as of yet…nada.

While in the great state of Los Angeles we met Dean at PF Changs and scarfed down spicy Chinese food. I’m very confident that Dean and I are going to turn Thunder into a comic/graphic novel. This isn’t a way of subsidising our income. Truth is, there’s no money in comics for first time writers. At least, it’s pretty rare. In fact, there’s no money in comics for old time writers either. At least, it’s pretty rare. No, we’re doing this for the simple reason that I keep getting sent graphic novels that have been optioned by assorted studios and companies and I’ve yet to read a good one. Most of them are horrible. But for some odd reason a company is more likely to buy the rights to something in print before they’ll buy a pitch or spec. So, here we go.
Truth is, the stuff I’ve done with Alien Pig Farm has been fun. Steve Niles is a wonderfully laid back guy and Tom Jane has been a pleasure to work with. Our artist, Don Marquez, is not only good but smart enough to voice his opinion when he saw the need. It’s been a fun process. Really fun.
Thus, Dean and I are excited about chasing Thunder into the world of comic books. Currently the managers are making calls.

My lovely pregnant wife and I went to the movies to support our friend Kurt Wimmer’s movie. Just our way of saying, Kurt, you’re number one with us. The critics were tough on Jason X but not nearly as tough as they’ve been on poor Kurt. Needless to say, Mel and I had a blast and at the end of the day that’s really what matters.
Sleepers is still moving forward at Tokyopop. Paul took the three book storyline to his fellow editors and the pow-wow went great. We’re supposed to see samples from assorted artists this week.
In all these submersions into the comic book waters the ultimate goal is getting a movie made. Attracting a studio or company who wants to make the story. Again it simply seems easier to get the right attention with a book than with a pitch or spec. Thus the creation of Alien Pig Farm, Thunder, Sleepers and whatever others pop up down the road.

We still take our Saturday walks with Allen and Elliot and I find myself really looking forward to these simple small town outings. Although you can’t live here long without noticing the strong aroma of small town politics. This is not an easy town to live in as a result. In the months since we’ve been here I bet we’ve seen ten business open and close on Lighthouse Avenue. Sad really. It could have something to do with the housing costs. A million bucks for a 2 bedroom, 1 bath does seem…stupid. Residents wonder why so many business go out of business. Hello? Can you say, “basic economics”?
However, it’s so hard to bite the bullet and move back. The air is clean, the worst crime in the area consisted of the three stolen ten-speeds and the people are normal. Yet, I just can’t wrap my head around a million dollars for a thousand square feet. At least in LA that will only cost you half a million. Do I sound perplexed? Good, feel free to cuddle up to my misery. For now it just seems easier to rent two small places six hours from each other.

At least this way I get two Melrose places. One where I get the jobs and one where I write the jobs. Seriously, which Melrose would you rather live on?
With all the work crossing my desk there was one very interesting script. I went in last week to pitch my rewrite and I think it went great. I normally leave pitches having no clue but this one was different. There was a jolt of excitement in the air. I’m curious to see what happens.
And tonight I work on a film pitch for…you guessed it, a graphic novel. The story is, they need a writer by Wednesday. No clue why. I don’t have that level of clearance. I have some ideas and if they can solidify by tomorrow then we’ll set a meeting and pitch them by hump-day.

And through it all, Mel and I will continue to have our morning walks for coffee and/or breakfast in our small town, where the food is good, the people are gooder and the ocean waters are blue.
In the coming weeks I’ll lock myself in the dungeon and work on my Riddle and Past Tense rewrites or any of the numerous aforementioned projects. And we’ll continue to nurture the little bun in the oven in preparation of hearing the words, Mommy and Daddy…or Mumsy and Papa if we find ourselves rich and snooty before the little tike is speaking.

In the end, we just don’t know the exacts of the next chapter. And that’s just fine with us.