Wendago

Olga finished the design for the Stand’s homepage. As always it’s amazing. She, Tom and Jeremy should have it up and running within a few weeks.

Haven’t been playing the game as much lately but it’s been a little busy around here. But, the guild is still growing. Braindead, Kyoushu and the Guilty as Sin crew has started joining us. We’re still not huge but pound for pound we have some of the best skilled players in the game. Quality counts for something you know.

Purity (Mel), Ravane (Ravane), Ladbury (Tom), Mandala (Jeremy) and myself started the Onyxia key quest series. This is a shot of us escorting a recently imprisoned hero to confront the fake mother of the King. It’s all very exciting in a geeky sort of you-had-to-be-there way.
I should have gone to New York with Dean and Jimmy. They left yesterday. Last night they painted New York with Richard Belzer and Gilbert Godfrey. I was planning on flying out today but life got in the way. It’s more headache than I am willing to get into at the moment.
Speaking of New York, I bought a painting. Suppose it’s time to start battling my bare walls.

Mel called it “really red”, Patrick called it “violent”. Bah on the both of you. I think it’s perty.

I love sushi. Not a fan of Octopus though. This is Young Yi. Good man, crazy insane with a big knife.
On the work front…eh…who cares.
Sarah emailed some pics of some paintings she did and since she loves reading about herself (:p) I will post them and talk about how brilliant and talented she is.

Sarah is brilliant.

Sarah is talented.

If you watch this movie it will make all of your dreams come true.
I would also suggest Spanglish. It’s a Jim Brooks movie and I can’t recall a bad Jim Brooks movie. I never saw it in the theatre because I simply thought it was an Adam Sandler flick. Nothing against Sandler, but I sort of have to be in the mood for him. But this isn’t a Sandler movie. This is James Brooks in all his glory.
I have renewed my lease and will stay in the Thousand Oaks for another six months. There are pros and cons but I really like it here. Been hanging out with people in the complex and that’s new for me. Coming from LA you tend to come home, enter your apartment and ignore those living on the other side of the walls. But that’s really not necessary in this area. People are friendly and open and no one wants anything from you.
I’m still a relative noob to the area and last week some of the guys took me out to show me the “hot” spots. Well, I suppose “hot” really is in the eye of the beholder but I guess I have nothing against a shady dive bar in the middle of nowhere.
The topic turned to girls as most topics do when two or more hairlegs gather at a watering hole. I’m not a glass half empty sort. I love the art of complaining for the sake of comedy but when a person truly complains…it crawls up my butt and becomes quickly thorny and irritating. They were complaining that there’s no good way to start up a conversation with girls. These guys were all mid-twenties to mid-thirties. How had they made it this far?
I told them to stop thinking about the bedroom and just go for the conversation. They stared at me like deer caught in the headlights.
I told them that this argument could possibly be made back before Bright/Kauffman/Crane, but not today. It’s just silly. We have Joey.
You simply approach, smile and in the best Tribbiani voice you can mimic you say, “How you doin’?”
You either get a laugh or confusion. Either way you get the answer you need. If it’s a laugh then this is someone worth talking to. If you get confusion, smile and walk away.
The boys gave it a try and sadly crashed and burned most of the time. So, perhaps confidence plays a part. I know attitude does. My attitude was simply that of being friendly. I can be rather big and intimidating from time to time so if I can come across friendly anyone can. But most guys, however, tend to be thinking of that one thing and that one thing will always glow like a beacon in the night and get in the way. Relax, take a breath and enjoy the conversation. It’s a lost art.
Basically I ended up breaking the ice and then introducing the young ladies to my new friends who nine times out of ten would immediately ask for a phone number and send the young lady fleeing. Sigh, I’ve much work to do.
As for talking to girls, no sweat but I guess that’s due to the fact that I’m not interested in girls. I’m currently researching homosexuality because I hear they have a great 401k.
As for now, I’m gonna take my book and go sit in the Hot Tub…and hope that none of the complex kids have peed in it within the last 48 hours. Wish me luck.

I have spent more time than I should have over the years contemplating the art of the handshake. Near as I can tell there are five basic handshakes.
Two are acceptable…three are of the devil.
The Limp Fish
If you’re sticking your hand out there to simply be squeezed then…then you are a little creepy. A good, solid, firm handshake…it’ll do wonders for your self-esteem.
The Big Dick
Then there are the boneheads that squeeze too hard. You tend to find this from men who wear wife-beater T-shirts and/or snake skin boots. This handshake is predominately found East of the Mississippi and is usually an attempt to hide the existence of a small genital member. A good, solid, “firm” handshake.
Those are two unacceptable handshakes.
The Firm Handshake
This is your goal. In a forward movement, arm extended, palm to the left, contact. Wait for it. Thumbs lock, squeeze. Not too hard. Not too soft. Successful handshake established.
The Charmer
This is more a pre-50’s and/or European handshake but can still be very effective when used at the right time.
Hand extends, palm to the left…thumbs lock. Light squeeze and twist…until your hand is on bottom then pull. You bring the woman’s hand to your lips and lightly kiss.
FYI: If you use this technique with a dood, there’s a good chance you will get belted.
And this brings us to the final handshake. That which Satan himself uses on a regular basis.
The Premature Ejaculatory Handshake
I know you’ve experienced it. You go for the handshake but the “squeeze” comes too fast. Thumbs never locked. You find your fingers in a clasp. You have no control. You are at the mercy of your acquaintance. You are incomplete.
I used to wonder…what did I do wrong? How did I screw it up?
Because I can’t recall ever squeezing someone’s fingers short of the thumbs locking. So clearly I must have been doing something wrong to allow myself to get boinked in the middle of the handshake.
Ahh, but with age comes experience and with experience comes knowledge.
I now realize that I was not screwing up after all. Because I never squeezed early. If your fingers get caught half in and half out of a handshake…it wasn’t you! You did nothing wrong!
Your partner in this unspoken bonding premature’d.
You did right…you were waiting for the thumbs to lock before going for the squeeze! It’s your partner in the handshake that came too fast!
Why? I don’t know. Nervousness seems the best bet. Perhaps you intimidate. Perhaps there are homophobic issues and your partner in the handshake simply wants to get in and out before you realize they find you hawt.
Clearly my journey for knowledge is incomplete. But I’m on it. I will find the answer. I will solve the mystery.
For now…if you find yourself catching an unsuspecting handshake victim’s fingers in a vice…then stop it. Take a breath. Wait for the thumbs to lock…then squeeze.

The Stand is growing. We’ve been very picky thus far. Add, formerly Gondo, joined and with him came his band of adventurers, Laisha, Windfast…I can’t name them all because I don’t know them all.

We’ve known Add/Gondo since the old Goldshire days. He has that same anal need for perfection that we do. He doesn’t suffer fools lightly. And just like us (Primo, Purity and myself) he can be a prick when the need arises. A trait I find most adorable in myself.
So, you have Primo as the Guild Master who’s title shall from here on be known as the Dinh. A reference in keeping with our whole Stephen King “The Dark Tower” and “The Stand” theme.
Newly added Members of the guild will be ranked as Initiates. For obvious reasons. Once they’ve proven their skill, friendliness and lack of greed they’ll be bumped to…
Apprentice Gunslinger.
And as each goes above and beyond the call of duty they will find themselves holding the title of…
Gunslinger.
The officers make up the Katet. A group of five Gunslingers bound by Faith. Clearly if you’ve experienced Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” series then you are way ahead of me.
Purity, Ravane, Ladbury, Add and myself round out the Katet.
Last week we promoted Ladbury to officer. Not only has he excelled at his mage skills but he’s also working on the website with Olga in exchange for a pair of my old socks.
Not long back, Lad and I journeyed into one of those areas you can see while flying on a Gryffon but never see to get to.

We found the airport. You can see it when flying from Ironforge to Menethil harbor but no one could find the path. Once we arrived we realized that this was on purpose. It’s not finished. Buildings have closed doors. Tunnels and caves end in nothingness.

But we did find a lovely view overlooking Menethil Harbor. It was so romantic. Ladbury and I kissed.
We explored the whole area. It’s huge…and utterly unfinished. There’s a tunnel leading from the airport to the view of Menethil but they both come to a dead end at the moment…well…one does.
The other…the one at the highest point leads into a void of nothingness. So, Lad and held hands and he Thelma and Luise’d right out into the void.

He has safefall, I had Levitate (I was on as Farmer). So, although we couldn’t see the ground…we assumed we’d land safely eventually. Several minutes later, as we’d both burned through our assorted feathers to keep us afloat, Lad ran out.
As Gimbly would say, “He fell.”
And although I was floating happily with a whole stack of feathers left…

…I died suddenly in the middle of the sky for no apparent reason. Oh well.
So, Ladbury made our fourth officer…And with Add’s addition the Katet is now complete.
Which leaves Primo as the guild master or in the Dark Tower/Stand world…the Dinh.
More information than most would ever want or need but there it is nonetheless.
Our eventual goal is this:

Onyxia. Her head hangs above the gates of Stormwind thanks to the hearty souls from the guild Aura II. They were the first. They shall not be the last.
The Sexy Olga’s officially been hired to start her web design magic on the little guild website. Both Ladbury and Mandala will be assisting. Olga designed this site so there’s no doubt that it’s money well spent.
Wednesday I’m meeting with ICM’s TV guy…er…the newest TV guy. I can never keep track. Also meeting with Goldstein to discuss our assorted projects.
First I gotta drop the car off for it’s 10,000. They’re giving me a loaner. I’m hoping for a small, economy sized Honda…cuz they’re so spiffy. If you drive a Honda then I should apologize for making fun of your stupid car.

I call this one “Pee Break”. For those of you who don’t play…rogues can stealth. And when nature calls a rogue will stealth and go pottie so that some nasty can’t just walk up and smack him. Druids (myself) can shift into cats, bears and seals at will. Cat’s can stealth. This was a group pottie break. Left to right, myself, Kyoushu and Ravane.
Some point soon, Patrick and I should sit down to combine Tom’s notes with Narcosis. Still waiting on feedback from Steve though. I should pop a reminder email out today.

Saturday night I met John, Noel and Sean at Sean’s place for some Ultimate fighting Championship. Noel warmed up some cow just enough to make it chewy then we watched grown men beat the crap out of each other. It’s a fun event if you can tolerate John’s commentating every single move. It’s a Jarrell thing. Just gotta be there.
Okay. It’s time to kill the iPod. brb.
Okay. It’s done. Any clue how far an iPod will go when heaved off a balcony into a deep valley? All the way, baby. All the way.
Why kill your iPod?…the naive and retarded might ask.
Simple. I got tired of Satan bending me over.
Ok, I have a meeting.

How do I look?

It’s been a crazy few weeks.
I finally finished “Sleepers” for FJ and the crew behind Constantine. It has been one of those development projects that I’ve had sitting in the pile not getting the sweet lovin’ it deserved. It was running the risk of getting…too complex…I pulled it back and I love the end result. I shot it over to FJ and we’re talking about backdooring it as a graphic novel first.
I’d heard a rumor that the Clive Barker deal had struck rough waters. Turns out that’s all rumor. He’s signed and work on Demonik is moving forward. Not sure where my involvement stands at this point. But with Barker it’s in good hands. Any story concerns I may have had…he’ll handle it. And has the power to do so. Way more than I ever had. I was the red headed step child who smelled funny. Man, did I do a ton of work on that project. I spoke with Boesky yesterday and we’re gonna get me paid.
I also told him that I would like him to handle anything dealing with video games or comics…on my behalf. I selfishly miss his being at ICM. I loved that I had Nicole for features and Boesky for the vids and comics. Well, I guess that won’t change now.
He told me that Image Comics was looking to make some deals. Essentially I’d own the idea, they’d distribute and take a back end. And all goals with comics these days would be to spin it into a feature. At least for now it’s alot easier for an executive to guy a comic than to buy a spec. Something you can see and hold and lick is worth alot I guess.
So, I shot him my and Dean’s script for Thunder. My and Patrick’s outline for Narcosis as well as our three minute Mass Destruction trailer. I didn’t send him any of my single projects since essentially they’re all tied up with other developments.
I guess I should start brainstorming some new brilliant ideas but who has the time?
The little Alien project is moving right along. Although Tom and Steve are debating about the artist. I could go either way so I’m leaving this one up to them.
We did discuss other ideas and I sent them a string of ideas, including, Thunder, Mass D and Narcosis. Tom immediately sent back several pages of notes for Narcosis. Gotta love his passion.
Goldstein and I pitched David Madden over at Fox Studios. Good guy. Smart. Not used to that. We pitched him our procedural and he came back with a spin. A good spin too. I need to work out the logistics…make sure it doesn’t create any holes…but he may have come up with a slam dunk. Now, granted he’d have jack without my initial brilliance but praise should go where it’s due.
If all goes as planned, together we’ll make the rounds to the networks.
Goldstein had also sent me the book “Grave’s End”, a true ghost story for me to consider an adaptation. I liked it. We’ve met a few times and I spoke with the writer who still lives in Brooklyn just ten blocks from the house where the “haunting” took place. It’s a fascinating story.
It’s interesting to be the outsider to the unbelievable. I went through this with Whitley as well. I’ve never seen a UFO, never been abducted. Not certain I’ve ever seen a ghost. But neither Elaine nor Whitley are crazy. They are down to earth, amazingly intelligent people. And there is no maybe in their hearts. They “believe”.
Anyway…I’ll keep juggling projects and eventually work out a feature pitch for Grave’s End.
Brett from Fox has been calling Goldstein wanting more. Although he passed on “Unknown Subject” he at least seems excited to work with us on something else. Mike and I discussed some ideas and have a pretty good one. I should be able to solidify it through the weekend.
I sent a polished version of Psychopath to Tiger Hill. It was the game version but it’s now closer to what the feature version should be. I still need to bang out the quick outlines for games two and three but I have them both worked out in my head.
But there will be some changes at Tiger Hill. Johnny Woo has decided to drop the Tiger. I know why but I reckon it best I keep that tidbit to myself. Boesky’s involved and if all goes as planned Brad and David will take the projects and move on. So, from talking to David, this is actually a good thing. Demonik will stay with Woo but Psychopath will go with Brad and David. That means Carpenter and I go with them.
And as for Scarecrow, they start casting next week. I’d love to see a current draft to see just how far it’s “developed” away from my original draft. Should be interesting to see how this all pans out. Near as I can tell there are alot of fingers in the pie at this point. Of course, as long as I get my slice…
I’m so looking forward to diving back into Past Tense. I know what to do and how to do it. I keep meaning to buy some time on eBay.
And I have several thriller ideas bouncing around upstairs at the moment. But sadly they’ll just have to stay there for the time.
This weekend I may tool back into LA and check out the Hancock Park/Hollywood area. Got tons of love for Thousand Oaks…but it’s just so far away from meetings and such. I miss driving over to Barry’s for a glass of wine at 2 AM. I miss 24 hour groceries. I miss the spontaneity that comes with a big city.
Thousand Oaks has plenty of pros though. Love the people. Love the clean air. The trees. The peace and absence of choppers and gunfire. Toss in the simple fact that I’m gonna hate the headache of bringing in movers and all the grunt work that goes with it…well, the place I find is gonna have to be amazing to swing the pendulum.
Okay, enough for now. I got Starbucks calling my name.

congratulations. you are the “you smell like
butt” bunny. your brutally honest and
always say whats on your mind.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yeah, this figures.