I hate spoilers. I HATE that Uber-Jason was on the frakking poster. I HATE that you knew from the trailer that Milton was from hell. As far as I’m concerned marketing spoilers are of the devil. Website spoilers are of the devil’s sister. Twitter spoilers are of the devil’s momma. Basically, spoilers = Satan.
For instance, I still haven’t seen a Captain America trailer. Why would I? That movie is trailer and review proof. I was already gonna see it. I watched the Potter trailers once but I didn’t have too. Only reason I was willing was that, you know… I’d read the books.
But sometimes, I need to see the trailer to decide. But even when I do, I only need to see it once. And after that, I avoid like the plague.
Except this time. Knights of Badassdom.
Knights.
Of Freaking Badassdom.
I was gonna see this one regardless. Therefore had ZERO plans of watching the trailer. But I could not help myself. Not only did I fail to stay away…
I’ve watched the above trailer 20 times.
I don’t remember how old I was when I discovered Dungeons & Dragons but it truly did change my life. But not in the way most would assume. For me, it was a creativity epiphany. Or orgasm, depending on your religion.
Brad Weaver and I were riding our bikes and saw four high school guys sitting around a picnik table in a back yard. We stopped and watched them playing something the likes we’d never seen. Dungeons & Dragons. We watched for hours.
To this day very little compares to that… pure feeling of discovery.
We rode our bikes to Wal-Mart that afternoon and bought the game. We came back to my house and played it totally wrong.
Yes. I know I spelled his name wrong. No emails please. Over the years we’d played off and on. We didn’t live for it. We had sports and girlfriends and the pursuit of sex.
Wow. A sudden wash of memory. Footballs games. The smell of freshly cut grass. That sound when we first took the field. The glow of the lights. The calm before the storm. The field of battle. Then to the locker room. That scramble to shower and dress and find your girl. Hand holding and kisses and heavy petting. Drop her off. Then off to whoever was hosting the night. Dungeons and Dragons til dawn. Geeks and Jocks and even a psycho or two. We rolled twenty sided dice as Ferris Bueller sang Ten Years Afters’ I’d Love to Change the World.
I love how some these days claim they are geeks. Pfft. Lightweights. They claim it cuz it’s in. But the real geeks are so embarrassingly geeky that their actions make self-proclaimed geeks cringe.
One of my favorite characters was named and designed after the cover of the Electric Light Orchestra’s album, Discovery.
So don’t go bringing your weak-arse “I’mma geek” preaching around me. Because talk is cheap. If you can’t walk the walk then I’m calling you out. I’ll drop you too. This is one geek who can buckle your forehead with a punch. You are WAY freaking cooler than me so don’t even try it. I will spoog my geeky funk all over your boobs.
It was 9:29, 9:29 back street big city. The sun was going down, there was music all around, it felt so right. It was one of those nights, one of those nights
When you feel the world stop turnin’. You were standing there, there was music in the air. I should have been away, but I knew I’d have to stay. Last train to London, just headin’ out. Last train to London, just leavin’ town. But I really want tonight to last forever, I really wanna be with you. Let the music play on down the line tonight.
As much as I loved playing, I ended up being Dungeon Master most of the time. I bought all the assorted modules. Some better than others. But even with the good ones, my imagination would wander. I’d spin the adventures. Break the rules. I would reward based on ingenuity. I would punish based on lack of vision or laziness. Here’s a little secret. Don’t tell nobody. Sometimes I’d roll the dice and never look at the number. I’d do what I wanted to do. Because Dungeon Master was… god.
Except for Tomb of Horrors. By far the best mod ever made. And one of the scariest. Oh Gary, how I still adore you.
So what’s the point of all this. Simple. Watch the trailer. Knights of Badassdom. Just look at the cast! We’re talking +11 to Charisma. You love Community? Then you got reason to go. True Blood fan? You got no choice. Serenity make you hard? Then you can’t help but be in. It has the only actor on the planet who did a perfect Bobby Duvall. Does Game of Thrones fill your void… then so shall this. Stop reading this and watch the trailer. Then talk about it. Twitter it. FB it. Even if you hate it. Granted you’ll look stupid for hating it but all buzz is good buzz.
We need more movies made by passion and less movies made by committee. The first step in making that a reality is you.
On the 30th I did a Twitter “Drive Angry” search just to see if anyone had noticed the movie was on DVD BLU. They had. Over the years I’ve seen assorted people retweet praise for their projects. Eli Roth does it. Simon Pegg does it. Steve Niles does it. So I figured I’d do it. Within reason, of course. Too much and it annoys. Just a handful that grab my attention. Once or twice a day.
I wanted to go. Never been. But have heard great things. There was a catch. Would they “get it” and play along? Or would they hate on it? If the first then it would be a blast. If that latter then it could be awkward for both me and the performers… if they found out I was there. I could have reached out to determine… had I thought about it. But I didn’t. So I didn’t go. As it tuns out Billy Burke went and had a blast. Benson and the panel got it. The audience got it. I should have gone.
On day two of “retweet the tweets” I noticed the hate. Wait. I spelled that too small. I noticed the HATE. While there was tremendous love for our little movie. There was massive hate. And I caught myself giggling at it. I thought about posting one or two hates because they were so funny. And in truth, we knew going in this would be a movie you either got or didn’t get. We knew it would be either loved or hated. So it wasn’t a shock. But tweeting hate? That’s not how it’s done.
It was also on day two that I got a little star struck. Megan was watching Drive Angry. Megan Ganz? She’s a writer on Community! And she was photo posting Drive Angry on her blog. A writer from my favorite television show was watching my stupid little movie? Yeah, that’s geeky cool.
A few hours later I decid to check out more feedback. And there it was. Both love and hate. So I decided I’d tweet the hate as well.
… and the confusion.
There was a poster contest. People going nuts to get a poster. Others were praising the movie. Others were turning it off with disgust. I was completely fascinated by the whole experience.
How could one person call it the best movie of the year, while the very next person called it the worst? I don’t know the answer but I found the food delicious.
As for those sending me personal notes, they were all filled with love. And Old Milwaukee. While fun to read and certainly makes ya feel good about the 18 month investment it takes to make a little movie…
… not as fun as posting the hate.
And make no mistake. It was the movie that made her sick. Not the peppermint shots.
Roger Ebert thinks it was Stone Cold Steve Austin who got a boot in the face. Who am I to correct the Roger?
This guy doesn’t just have an opinion. He’s an actual twitter critic. Got a rating system and everything.
There’s a whole lot of wow in Tyler’s tweet.
I heart Barbara.
This one raises an interesting point. I saw several tweets by woman commenting on Frank beating up Piper. Some hated the movie because of it. Others loved everything about the movie except that part. I didn’t retweet those because they weren’t fun. They were personal and important and deserved better than being included in a goofy list. What really shook me was the handful that actually thought this meant we were condoning violence against women. So let’s discuss.
First off, I can’t tolerate rude behavior in a man. You strike your woman in front of me, I WILL get involved. Right or wrong, I have been in numerous fistfights as a result of this. Used to happen more often when I lived in LA. Not so much here. The last incident was couple years ago. I wrote about it. Late night Long’s Drugs, a guy and his girl were arguing and he grabbed her. He was gonna hit her. His hand was raised. I got in his face and belittled him until he took a swing at me. Then I punched him in the forehead and put him on the floor. Two things. One, I wasn’t aiming for his forehead but that’s what happens in real life. Two, his girl cursed me and cradled him in her arms.
Men like Frank exist. They cheat. And when caught they blame their woman. And when she stands up for herself they hit. And sadly, much of the time they get away with it. Not in Drive Angry. Frank loses his girl, his car and his life. As it should be.
There were other reasons Frank was as bad as he was. We needed the audience to accept the fact that Piper would go on this journey with Milton. Frank HAD to be that bad. There had to be zero reason for her to go back. There’s alot of LOVE and HATE for Drive Angry. Both extremes. Not one person has said, “I think she should have stayed with Frank.” We nailed that one, my friends.
We also needed to introduce the threat that was the Accountant. That mean tearing through someone. But we didn’t want you to HATE the Accountant. That meant he needed to kill someone you HATED. And thus was Frank. I think it’s cute that there are those who think we did just to give me a role. Story and character always come first. Always.
I honestly don’t mind the hate for the movie. But to think I or we condone violence against women annoys me.
No idea if Mrs. Wrestle is being sarcastic. Can only assume she is. But we always did intend there to be a heart at the center of the nasty little journey. And alot of blood, boobs and bad words.
If you turn off the movie upon reaching the title card, then you really hate violence, right? Or perhaps language? I’m not saying the guy is right or wrong. Just curious.
We tried to be equally offensive with sex, language and violence.
“I wish I had a time machine soo I could go back and not watch drive angry…” I don’t care who you are, that tweet is funny.
It’s the first time anything I have done has been labeled “shitiest”. I consider that a win.
This one made me smile. That’s BenDavid’s brother. :)
I kept an eye on Jeff over the next few days. He was still tweeting so thankfully a movie did not drive him to suicide.
I wonder if Jamey bought 10 DVDs.
And I like your style, James.
Ebert did not like Drive Angry. He got it. Understood what we were going for. Acknowledged that we succeeded. He just personally didn’t like it. And even though he didn’t, I LOVED his review. Now there’s a cat who can write a review. And I say that knowing good and well that he has never ever liked one of my movies. Not a single one. And while I have mostly stopped reading reviews of my stuff (I read four reviews out of the dozens and one DVD review), I still read Roger.
Yeah. Me too.
Now this was a first. One of the above got extremely annoyed that I had retweeted his/her tweet. And in turn tweeted to a professional critic to ask how said critic handled criticisms of their movie criticisms. Two things. First off, I wasn’t criticizing the tweet. I was just sharing it. If you don’t want that then either protect your tweets or get off twitter you twit. Second, I’ll never grow tired of critics who get offended by their critics. Dudes. Two words. Irony. Karma. Check em out.
Community. Drool.
I may tell this story later.
This exchange still makes me laugh.
I like Libby.
There are so many favorites in this one.
And in closing…
Now… if you made it to the end then I gotta ask? How many twitter users tried to click on any of the above links? :)
First off, I’m not really angry. “Drive Angry” was originally called, “Don’t Drive Angry” and named after Bill and Phil’s pickup driving skillz above a rock quarry. If you’re gonna name a movie after a line in GROUNDHOG DAY then not only are you my kind of gal, you likely ain’t the angry type. BUT there are those who assume that the title along with my lack of journal sugar-coating translates to my being angry. Well, I ain’t angry, damnit.
As for my lack of sugar-coating, what’s wrong with telling it like it really is? You want to know why Hollywood is a mess? Great. I’ll tell ya. It’s because everyone is sugar-coating it. Getting your foot in the door takes massive sacrifice. The reason you do it is because you buy into the sugar-coating. You believe that there’s this special VIP room where you get your money for nothing and your chicks for free. Oh my friends. Don’t fall for that. This was a ruse created by them what write the checks. Work for nothing now because this will get your foot in the door AND once inside… your dreams will come true! Not exactly. Once inside you might find it a fraction easier to get your next magic bean job. I’m not saying don’t do it. I’m just saying don’t be naive.
Of course, no one says this. At least not out loud. Well, I do. And as a result some people consider me angry. Not angry. Just honest.
The Drive Angry Blu-Ray is out there. If you haven’t seen it and you like me at all then you’ll like it. We spend so much time in life trying to be like everyone else. Now’s your chance to be different. Go see the movie no on else saw.
It has Cage channeling Eastwood’s Stranger from HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER. John Milton. Rightfully named. Nic was perfect. He walked onto set and I kid you not, knew every line. I helped Patrick write the silly thing and when I walked on set to play Frank, the first word I spoke on film was “Line?”
Nic was an absolute professional. One day he pulled me aside and just dove into this big piece of heavy dialog. Warned me ahead of time that he’d cut all the vulgarity. That everyone else was tossing the F word left and right so he wouldn’t. Which was great. A “wish-I’d-thought-of-it-myself” moment. People ask Patrick and I if we were thinking about Cage when we wrote John Milton. The answer is no. But that’s because we never dreamt in a million years we’d ever get NICK CAGE!
Yet there I sat, next to Nic on the Bull by the Balls set while he ran his lines. You could have filmed it. He was that good right out of the gate. Then he asked me what I thought. To be honest I was a bit stunned. I am used to actors changing their lines. I don’t get offended by it. I’ve been on that side of the camera. I get it. Sometimes my own words, that flowed so effortlessly from my fingers, struggle to find their way out of my mouth. You gotta do what you gotta do. Make the part your own. So, again, I’m used to some heavy dialog petting. But Nic didn’t do that. The words were still mine and Patrick’s. What he did more than anything else, was cut. He made it lean. He cut the fat. I told him, “You’ve made us look like better writers.” And without cracking a smile he said, “Well, no. That’s not the point.” I still laugh about that. No. That wasn’t the point. The point was, he knocked John Milton out of the park.
Who does Amber Heard beat up in Drive Angry?
Let’s rephrase that.
Who does Amber Heard NOT beat up in Drive Angry? Tom Atkins. She does not beat up Tom Atkins. But that’s only because she wasn’t allowed to get out of the car during that scene.
The character of Piper was always my biggest worry. For me the story’s success or failure rested with Piper. She was the heart. I always thought it was a heck of a role. This point was proven once we started casting. So many great actresses delivered so many wonderful auditions. They loved that she was empowered. They loved that she didn’t have to screw or strip in order to be worthy. They loved that while tough as nails, she had heart. And that’s why she was always my biggest worry. The actress would have to hold her own in the boys’ club at the same time she had to be the heart of the film. Without her John Milton’s plan would fail. And all this had to be delivered in the simplest form possible. Amber Heard delivered. She became Piper.
I think it’s safe to say Amber and I became friends.
Most of this is likely due to the fact that she beat the crap out of me. She pulled her punches with Christa, but she did not cut the boys any slack. I snapped a picture at the end of the day. I should have taken a picture the next morning when the bruise had blossomed the size of grapefruit. Take a look at the scene where the cult drags Piper out of the church. Just ask Kendrick Hudson, Papajohn and Henry Kingi what it was like three against one. They’ll tell you they could have used a few more guys. I remember Billy Burke joking that he thought shooting a fight scene with the lovely Amber Heard would be more fun and less painful. She beat the crap out of all of us.
Amber told me that she loved the toenail polish scene because a role like this in other movies would require she get naked. I told her that was all Melanie. Mel suggested that having caught her cheating boyfriend, Piper wouldn’t be about sex, she’d be about dominance. I loved it. And, of course, I would have never thought of it. I have a dick. I told Patrick and he loved it too. So we wrote it in. When Amber mentioned her other nude scenes. I gave her a blank stare. She could not believe I’d not seen any of them. I told her, “You’re playing the surrogate daughter. I adore you but I’m not going to look at you naked right now.” And I didn’t.
A few months ago I watched the INFORMERS. Gulp.
Seriously. Look at that. She IS Piper. And that’s day one right there. She took the toughest role in an action movie and she glowed. She held her own and in most cases stood out. She became my friend. And she beat the crap out of me. By the way. There are men and more than a few ladies who would pay top dollar to be beat up by Amber Heard. Oh. And she spit on me. Over and over and over. And you KNOW there are folks who’d pay for that.
In the end, I simply couldn’t be more proud of her.
I knew Billy Burke’s face. And while I’ve seen him in several parts it was playing Daddy Twilight that stood out. It’s because Mel LOVES the books. So we go to the movies. And Billy is the guy I relate to. The normal guy surrounded by six packed werewolves and sparkly vampires. My gut reaction was, “He’s too nice to play Jonah.” Oh no my friends. That’s before I knew I was dealing with an actual chameleon. He plays a cross between Jims Jones and Morrison but with no penis. His performance is wicked.
While shooting he was just finishing his album REMOVED. He slipped Patrick and I a few tracks. That was the nuttiest part actually. Yeah yeah. Actor. Sings too. Heard that before. Then I listened to the tracks. Holy wow. Billy’s the real deal. I still listen to the CD. Our own assistant editor, Martin Bernfeld designed the cover. Billy and his wife shot one of the videos while in Shreve. I like that. I listen to the music and I’m reminded of the shoot. The high highs. And the eat dirt lows. His music is a part of me now. A part of my own soundtrack.
I mention High Plains Drifter often. And for several reasons. One, my mentor, Dean Riesner wrote it. His name’s not on it. But both Eastwood and Don Siegel have said his name should have been on it. Dean and the old Hollywood Writer’s Guild didn’t get on well. He had next to nothing nice to say about them. Likely due to all the movies he worked on that he never got credit. I mentioned his working on STARMAN to Sally King Carpenter once and her reply was, “The real writer of Starman.” Her saying that actually made me tear up. Oh. I know that’s an awfully sensitive thing to admit but remember folks, I live in a world where writers rarely get respect. To see it shown to a fella who not only taught me a great deal but spent many a Christmas morning in my home opening Santa treasures, this was a big deal.
Which brings us to the above. The Accountant’s bridge. Not sure what else to call it. If you’ve seen HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER then you recall the Stranger’s arrival. Seemingly materializes on horseback through the shimmering heat of the horizon. Behold our version. Or at least our location. By the way, we didn’t end the bridge like that. That’s how we found it. And by the way, if you zoom in you’ll see giant black birds feasting on some carcass. How perfect is that?
I can recall in one screening, the moment the camera rose up to reveal young master Fichtner strolling across the bridge, a bounce in his step, the audience cheered. No idea who his character was. Or where he’d come from. They were cheering the actor. Gives me goosebumps just writing that.
Bill Fichtner. You quite literally can stick a fork in me. If Drive Angry had made me the millions those who ask to borrow money assume it made me, then I’d be happy to retire now because we wrote some words that attracted Bill Fichtner. Not only did I get to meet him, not only did I get to act with him… we became friends. We’re talking about the guy who shook the hand of the daughter of the bravest man he’s ever met!
BEHOLD! If you’ve seen the movie you won’t recognize this. Teaser time. Buy the DVD/Blu. This deleted scene is on it.
Now. This may come as a shocker but Drive Angry didn’t do so well at the Box Office. And here’s the thing. I wanted people to see it because I love it. I get joy from it and part of the thrill of being a storyteller is sharing that joy. It’s actually a HUGE part of it. Writers write. It’s not a choice you see. If I don’t write then bodies start to stack up under the porch. It’s a form of personal exorcism. Sharing the written world is CLIMACTIC! It’s Max Von Sydow screaming that the power of Christ compels you. But… alas, I didn’t get to share this story as much as I’d liked. As for Box Office success…pfft. What do I care? MBV3D pulled in over 100 million at the box office and I didn’t see a dime of that. Didn’t do a thing for the career. Not one job out of it. Drive Angry pulled in a whole lot less and I didn’t see a dime of that either.
BUT… I would have liked to have seen that success for Bill. His part was special. Those who have seen it would agree. Heck, even those who didn’t get the movie GOT Bill.
I wanted that BO success for him. He deserved it. And for Amber, who stood out because of her strength and heart without having to take her shirt off. I wanted it for Billy because you can’t look at Charlie in Twilight then Jonah in Drive Angry without being forced to admit this guy is the real deal. I wanted it for Nic. Even working as much as he does he still takes the parts that are different. That are challenging. That take him to places unknown. They all went above and beyond. They deserved it.
I wanted it for the crew who worked long hours on a tight budget. For Nathan Amondson who became a friend and a Beatle. For the Teamsters who had my back without question. For the P.A.s who worked the hardest and got paid the least. For extras, like Wayne Villar who played dead while half naked and covered in soot for days without once complaining. For Kenneth Wayne Bradley who took the redshirt name of Man With Wig and turned it into a stand-out performance. I wanted it for the standins, Todd, Will, Nathan and Michelle. I wanted it for Tim and Oakley and Kim and Con and all the kids who drove fast, jumped and lit themselves on fire for us.
I wanted it for Patrick. I wanted it for him the most. What he was able to accomplish for our budget… what he did in the time we hand… against the challenges we faced… others would have failed. Our whole movie was shot for less than the opening of Fast Five. He didn’t complain. He did the job. And he did it better than others could have. Go on. Ask those in the know if it isn’t true. Ask De Luca. Ask Millennium. Patrick deserved it.
But sometimes life gives you lemonade when what you want is Vodka with a limon slice. All you can do is down that lemonade, feel refreshed and move on. Focus on the bright side.
Focus on Tom Atkins! We get to make movies with Tom Atkins. You know, his only note when he read Halloween 3D was that he should have more sex with the girls. I gotta tell ya, I completely agree with that.
I have ZERO regrets. We made the movie we wanted to make. We have fast cars and fire! We got to create Skywalker Sound at Skywalker Ranch! I hope you get to see it on Blu-ray. And why wouldn’t you? We have Nick Cage drinking beer out of a skull. We have Amber Heard punching, spitting, bitting and jumping. We have Billy Burke beating Cage with a femur. We have Bill Fichtner saying, “You. Fat Fuck. Come here.” We have Tom Atkins! We have David Morse! We have Christa’s boobs and my butt! What more could you want?!
So that’s it for now. I could report on May but it’s a pretty easy report. We wrote. Alot. We pitched. Alot. I moved. Once. I’m back in the haunted office building. More on that as it develops. I went to Texas for the remarkably awesome Dallas Comic Con.
For that I’ll do its own post. But later. Not now. Now I’m sickly. I’m gonna pop some pills and play Angry Birds til I sleep.
And by clicking Publish, I am caught up. 10 years have I kept this journal. Two years has it taken me to catch up when I got behind. The plan would be to dive into stream of consciousness from this point forward. Post when something catches my fancy. We’ll see. But for now…April 2011.
First things first… you MUST go to deanlorey.com to read about JASON GOES TO HELL. Dean’s career has been surrogately documented over the last ten years on my journal. Well. Now you can got get it in full detail from his. From now on I will only document his major failures.
We had sent in our Hellraiser outline (step one) so at the beginning of April we were tweaking based on studio notes.
Meanwhile Tom and Tim read Devil’s Commandos and were compiling polish notes.
I had been toying with the idea of joining young master William Schaeffer Tolliver and southern friends at a horror convention in Kentucky. However, after speaking with the organizer, learned that said con fell on the same dates as San Diego’s Comic Con. Oh, Kentucky. You silly rabbit.
On the 5th Dean told me that ABC Family bought his pilot.
April 9th Good’ol Days. It’s small town awesome. Parade Saturday morning. Then Lighthouse Avenue is shut down Saturday and Sunday and stuffed with rides and vendors. Custom clothes to fried Twinkies and a dreamy tri-tip sandwich that only comes around ones a year.
On April 11th I was up at 4am. I stumbled through an uncoordinated workout then washed my balls and brushed my fangs and by 5am there was a shuttle outside my door. I would have napped but I’m a picky sleeper so I listened to the driver’s jazz. I know the guy now. Have shuttled with him several times before. He told me about his estranged son. Again. He’s proud. Has regrets.
Soon he kicked me off the shuttle in San Francisco and I jumped Virgin America to Vegas. Let’s take a moment to talk Virgin America. Best airline on Mother Earth. Clean. LOTS of room. Personal tele. I don’t never wanna fly nobody else.
In Vegas a driver picked me up and shuttled me to the convention center where I first found Ryan Turek. He was hosting our little 3D thingy. Later Patrick and Max arrived. Then Brian. The whole gang. We chit chatted and caught up while Rudy Ruderson miked us. You know Rudy, he wears a keyring outside his pants with twelve hundred keys on it. This guy is VERY important. And rude.
Patrick had prepared clips. Ryan asked questions. And we had a great time to a full room.
The moment we walked off stage I shared a car with Patrick to the airport. He was flying back sooner as he still had to go home before the premiere that evening. We would have hung out but turned out I was at a completely different terminal. So. I found the airport California Pizza Kitchen and drank long Islands until I was silly.
Next, I boarded an American Airlines flight to LA. Ugh. Double Ugh. Cramped seats. No TV. Old. Not Virgin America.
At LAX, Brian “I watch a Horror Movie A Day” Collins picked me up in his Golden Pussy Wagon. He brought me a burger, fries and a coke. He ate my fries. But that’s okay I guess since he paid for them. Then it was off to the Scream 4 premiere. We got there early. Sat next to Alexandre Aja. I had never met Aja. Still haven’t.
Bob gave a very gracious introduction. It was clear he was thrilled to have the gang all back together. Then he introduced Wes who also had very sweet things to say about his cast and crew. And I loved the fact that he talked about how he and Bob butt heads all the time but in the end completely have each other’s backs.
Then the movie started and Brian proceeded to laugh and bounce with giddy pleasure. Later I did something I never do during a movie. I had to go pee. And did. As as a reward I got to pee while Marilyn Manson put on mascara. Welcome to Hollywood.
After the movie Brian and I hit the after party. It was fun. I ran into old friends. And made some new ones. Met Nathan Fillion for the first time. He’s just as dreamy in person. By midnight I was in bar with Matt Thompson, extras actor and working screenwriter. Hours later I was passed out on his couch. I kicked him awake a few hours later and he drove me to the train station.
Train was very disobedient dragon. Two hour delay just getting out of station. More delays along the way. Was so bad Mel loaded Izzie and drove two hours to meet me at a closer station and then we drove home. I’m almost certain we beat the train. You hurt me Amtrak. You hurt me real bad.
During the train ride back I got notes from Tom. I read them the following day. I hate getting notes. Add the fact that Tom and I had been bickering off and on for a couple of years… well I wasn’t exactly looking forward to his notes. But, to my great disappointment, the notes were really good. Really smart. Which both pleased and annoyed me. I replied with questions and clarifications and after a few days I was ready to proceed. But first: Band of Brother and the Pacific. My plate was full with other stuff so I would get my brain ready by watching an episode a night.
On the 14th we had a call with De Luca to discuss Deacon’s, Original Horror and a possible new TV pitch.
On the 17th Rikki texts me about the tumor and coming surgery. He asks me to post pics to FB. To fill everyone in on the bad news but make it funny to show they were in good spirits. Which I did here.
On the 18th we send our updated Hellraiser outline.
Rikki came out of surgery and while we’d have to wait a few days on the results, the Doctors were extremely optimistic.
On the 19th we had a call with Valhalla to pitch the creator of Unnamed Project. I was perhaps a little concerned. I’ve been down this road before. And while most of my experiences have been amazing. For instance, Whitley Strieber was incredible to work with. I’d get stuck, call him up and he’d turn into a suggestion machine. With ideas I would have never come up with on my own. BUT, I’ve also had a miserable experience. So, you never know. We pitched and the creator loved it. He did have some notes but they were actually quite smart. We later learned that we were the first pitch he got behind 100 percent. That was nice to hear.
Follow up meeting with Valhalla set for the 27th.
On the 19th I sent in notes to a writer. Haven’t mentioned this before but Patrick and I are attached as producers on a script. We’d read the rough draft and compiled our notes.
On the 21st the writer responded with a new draft. Am reading it now.
I respond yes to an invite to Jaime King’s birthday party.
Two days late retract the yes. Didn’t realize that was the day before Rabbit Day. You know. I got a four year old.
On the 25th we sent a cast list to De Laurentiis for discussion. Let’s not pretend actors don’t make the Hollywood world go round. Nic got Drive Angry made. Tom Atkins got MBV made. Well no. But it SHOULD have been that way. So we sent a list of names for the main characters. A discussion would follow consisting of who has enough juice to get it made, who’s too big to fit into the budget and so on. It’s simply a tiny part of the machine that makes movies happen.
I also read a new pilot that Dean Lorey wrote which has Mitch Horwitz attached to produce. On page two I laughed so hard I was crying. And it never let up. I caught a type-o. Otherwise it was perfect.
On the 27th I took breakfast to the girls then was on the road to Patrick’s at 7am. We had two big pitches. By 7pm I was on the road home. Sadly I hit construction traffic in Ventura and later in Santa Barbara. I didn’t get home until 3am. There’s gotta be a better way to make a living. As a result of said pitches we send the Drive Angry screenplay to one company and set up a screening of Drive Angry for the other. These are all good signs.
On the 28th our De Daurentiis screenplay had been read by an actress’s agents, approved and sent off to the actress.
And that brings us to the end of April.
So let’s talk Band of Brothers and Pacific. I normally try to stay away from criticisms. It’s not my job. I don’t get paid to do it. Plus, when you’ve seen the guy behind the curtain, when you’ve been in the trenches, you know a million things outside your control can derail you. Basically, you know better than to judge. But what I can do is wonder why. Wonder how. Because I am a bit baffled by the riddle of these two series. Band of Brothers is rich of story and character. Filled with heros. It reveals both that war is hell but uplifts you. The Pacific, while made by the same team, has none of that. The two series are vastly different as I suppose the war in Europe and the war in the Pacific were vastly different. Perhaps that’s the point. But when it comes to entertainment, Band of Brothers uplifts me. Pacific not so much.
Here’s a story most of us already knew… OR most of us claimed to have read when actually we had simply suffered through a very not so good animated version. Either way my heart still pounds watching this trailer for a movie I’ve seen a dozen times.
In the on going story of “Everyman gets screwed”, in March Mel got a notice that my insurance had been cancelled. I called Patrick. His was fine but that was only due to his having insurance through the director’s guild as well. He pulled the agents into it and within a couple of days it was resolved. However, the insurance company refused to reinstate me. Basically I did two jobs in ’09 and neither company paid into my health fund. I had, but they had not. While I had done nothing wrong, my insurance was gone. They said they’d reinstate it next quarter. Gee. Thanks for that. I get more and more conspiratorial as I get older and I wonder if the cost of having an autistic child has anything to do with their snail like speed. But truth is, I don’t think it does. I do, however, think they look for any excuse to bone you. I hate them all by the way.
Okay. So, Drive Angry didn’t do so well at the box office, but we’d survive it. Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.
Through all of this Dean had been working his little butt off. He was on Running Wilde but also wrote a book, created a feature pitch and a TV pilot pitch. As for his feature pitch to the junior Suit, the one who loved our original horror idea until the Monday after Drive Angry came out, yeah, Dean still hasn’t heard back from him.
On the 4th we finished a polish on our rewrite for De Laurentiis Raffaella.
On the 8th I told Patrick I was thinking about speccing the Wanting, a pitch we created based on a ghost story that happened to Melanie when she was a kid. The backstory, which is likely already journaled but will hereby be refreshed, goes like this: Mel and I were spending the night at Patrick’s. She told the story of what happened to her when she was young. It’s a terrifying story told during the day. It’s pure panic told at night. So Patrick and I agreed that we’d write it as a spec. I started the first pass.
On the 10th I gave some quotes to the fella writing the Kane Hodder Biography.
We also sent our TV show outline to DeLuca.
And John Carpenter joined Twitter. I sent Brian Collins a text, “Is that really him?!” He texted back, “Ryan (Turek) says it is!” We had us a bit of fanboy geekout and I even sent a fanboy tweet, which I rarely do. And then I get a reply. Whoa. Turned out, he hadn’t just joined. His wife, Sandy, later informed me that they’d joined sometime back but due to the fact that all variations of his name had been scooped up by fans, it had taken some time for people to find him.
On the 11th I grabed a train down to San Diego to bang out the last draft of Devil’s Commandos with young master, Timothy Bradstreet. Together we figured out one last tweak to make to Devil’s. I’d take the following week to address.
I also gave Tim a screenplay to read because I thought it might make an excellent novel for him to illustrate. He agreed and we sent it to a publisher buddy of his.
And before I jumped a train back home, Tim grabbed his camera and took a guhzillion pics of me. Headshots. There has been talk of my perhaps doing a role every now and then. We’ll see. I hear it pays better than writing.
On the 14th our Mandate meeting to pitch our original horror got pushed again. I asked Patrick if we could just spec it after the Wanting. He agreed.
Morgan Creek stayed after us about a project we are developing for them. We had most of it worked out, just needed to get it down on paper. Patrick started the outline while I addressed a type-o polish of our De Laurentiis rewrite.
On the 28th Bradstreet and I got an email from his publisher buddy:
I read the script in full last night. I don’t say the following lightly: this is one of the best pieces of eerie action writing I’ve come across in quite some time. I absolutely love [secret title].
We three discuss the next step.
Patrick had met with Valhalla shortly after Drive Angry came out. They loved our little movie and wanted to talk to Patrick about doing a project together. We had developed a story and it was nearly finished. A pitch meeting was set for April.
During one of those odd daydream moments on twitter I followed link after link until I was staring at a piece of artwork. I liked it. Drawn by a fella named Kevin Spencer. So I sent one of those very simple, “Dig your art” notes.
Later he sent me this. :)
So, let’s take a moment to talk 3D because I’m annoyed and I’ve yet to openly voice it.
3D has been around for decades. Not great 3D but 3D all the same. Around the time of MBV, the technology of 3D had improved vastly so it was decided that MBV would be in 3D. Journey to the Center of the Earth preceded MBV and while it was 3D, it had a bunch of CGI elements. MBV would be the first live-action 3D. And we were a big hit. I’d like to say it wasn’t JUST the 3D that made it a hit. I’d like to think the whodoneit storyline played a part. The acting, the crew… but Hollywood in general seemed to chalk up our success to “gimmick”.
We had 900 3D screens because that’s all that existed at the time. The week after our opening 1000 more 3D screens were ordered. We were gone in three weeks due to the fact that Coraline needed our 900 screens.
Soon after every studio was greenlighting 3D projects. Lions Gate made a fortune. Everyone assumed we’d be doing MBV 2. But LGF wanted to move out of the genre and sequel biz (so we were told). So, while 3D movies were going into production left and right, Patrick and I were unemployed.
So, we wrote Drive Angry.
Meanwhile Avatar came out and many would say it created the 3D revolution. But if we’re honest, the revolution had already began. BUT, Avatar certainly made it official. And the demand for 3D was greater than EVER.
Unfortunately supply could not keep up with demand. There simply were not enough 3D crews to house the sudden demand for 3D movies. So conversion entered the world. 3D conversion is a viable way to make a 3D movie… IF and we’re talking a mighty big IF you have the time and money. Sadly many movies started coming out that did not have the time and money to convert properly and thus the 3D looked like crap.
Audience members were paying the big price difference and some were feeling a bit cheated. Clash of the Titans was the first notable offender. Piranha 3D comes to mind. While fun and massively offensive, the 3D was dismal. It was sort of the beginning of the end because P3D’s box office did not show the success of previous 3D films. The audience was catching on.
Then came Deathly Hallows part 1. They announced that they would release in 3D and started the conversion process. Then they screened Drive Angry 3D and realized they did not have enough time to match the quality of a movie shot in 3D. So they made one of the ballsiest moves I have ever seen in Hollywood. They revoked the 3D from part 1. They did a point and click and turned it off. They released in 2D only.
Skip to Feb 2011. Drive Angry Shot in 3D. “Shot in 3D” was an attempt to let moviegoers know that, yes, we were aware conversion wasn’t the best quality, but we had been SHOT in 3D. But here’s the thing, while that may have meant something to bloggers and the kids who go see a midnight show at LA’s New Beverly… Joe Moviegoer could care less. To the normal American moviegoer, 3D was 3D and MOST of what they’d seen in the theater over the last year, sucked. So they rebelled.
So, is 3D on its way out? Hard to say. Likely no. Not completely.
But the almighty power of Hollywood greed has once again screwed both the filmmaker and the moviegoer. Rather than do the best 3D possible, they, for the most part, cashed in. Milked the cow dry then left the carcass to rot. Not the first time.
Observe the pattern in the world of horror. Scream was huge. Suddenly every studio in town started mimicking the self-aware nature of the Scream storyline. Heck, even Freddy Vs. Jason which had no business whatsoever being self-aware was rewritten to be self-aware (and later tossed out thank goodness). Soon the Hollywood machine was churning out self-aware horror without really understanding what that was. And movies started to tank.
Then came the Ring. Big hit. Suddenly everyone was doing Asian horror. Until the movies weren’t so good and started to tank.
Because the audience will always catch on. But until they do, rest assured fat cats are gonna get fatter.
Then came Saw and the world of torture porn. That lasted until they got bad and started tanking.
By the way, you can make the same observations with other genres, just happens that I work in horror.
Eventually came 3D. With 3D, however, this was industry wide. It impacted every genre. MBV proved that the roller coaster gimmick worked. Avatar proved the immersive gimmick worked. Let’s not pretend that both weren’t gimmicks. But gimmicks in the same way that color and talkies were gimmicks.
Just Wednesday Patrick and I sat in a conference room and the head of the studio asked, “Would you shoot this in 3D?” We said, you could, but you don’t have too. The project in question does’t fit within the MBV gimmick. Nor does it really fit within the immersion gimmick. I noted that you could create a voyeuristic atmosphere with 3D. And that would likely work if push came to shove but here’s the thing. I don’t think every movie should be 3D. In the same way I don’t think every ride at the amusement park should be a roller coaster. I LOVE roller coasters. But I also love the ferris wheel. And the parachute drop. But leave it to Hollywood to try to turn every stupid ride in the park into a roller coaster.
I guess the thing I find the most annoying is that we did MBV in 3D because we thought it would be fun. We put story and characters first but we did the 3D because we thought it would be FUN. We went into Drive Angry with the same intention. We weren’t doing it in 3D to cash in on the fad. We thought fast cars and guns and action in 3D would be fun. We still put story and characters first but we did the 3D for the FUN. And we succeeded. It was fun. And few saw it.
And my rambling closes out March of 2011.
Happy Birthday wendago.com. You silly, bigfoot named website. I started you to remind me when I’m old and rich what the journey had been like. I’m old. I’m still waiting on the rich part. But that’s okay, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.
In a couple days I guess I’ll close out April and we’ll call it a successful catch up.
