Category: Journal

OCTOBER
Happy Birthday wendago.com. I have kept an online journal for 10 years. I say “journal” cuz when I got started “blog” and “blogger” were relatively unknown. I started this so that one day I could look back and behold the journey. So let’s continue the catch up and bring us to October of 2010.

But first…

ALIEN is one of those movies that made me what I am. LOOK at this trailer. My heart pounds yet it gives NOTHING away! The trailer grabs and leaves you wanting more. I WANT to see it. Today, our trailers give away SO much you FEEL like you can decide whether or not you will like a movie based on the trailer alone.

All the way back to campfire ghost stories you want to build to the JUMP. Or the big surprise. Now days the surprises are in the trailer. It’s just lazy marketing.

So, on with October, a month distracted with Audience Preview.

Focus groups are a part of the Hollywood process. While there are debates over their legitimacy, they are and likely always will be a part of the movie making process. After a studio screening a focus group spokesperson will keep several audience members and ask them questions about their experience. Normally by morning focus group answers as well as the audience questionares are analyzed by massive computers that are seven or eight gigabytes away from going sentient and creating terminators or fembots.

Patrick and team spent all day at the theatre prepping the preview. I was there but was mostly just stumbling around in the way. They had to make sure the sound levels were right. Make sure the base was thunderous. And then, of course, 3D added a whole new layer of possible screw up. Patrick ran the movie then ran it again, then we were ready for the big show. A few walked at at the initial gore. To me that was a win. The remaining crowd laughed and cheered at all the right places.

Questionares were handed out. The focus group was asked questions and it was decided we would meet at Summit once all the numbers from the preview were crunched and discuss further.

Big meeting. Focus group leader was on speaker phone to go over his statistics from the focus group. He announced, “Let’s be honest, this movie will only appeal to the lowest common denominator.” Wow.

The biggest issue seemed to be the visual FX (could we finish them on time?). And Summit suggested the movie to open on Milton escaping from Hell.

Now remember we had written Drive Angry so that the whole “he escaped from hell” thing would be a secret. Like Bruce is a ghost. Darth is a father. That Crying Game girl ain’t no girl. If you build it Kevin Costner’s daddy will play ball with you. In fact, even in the finished product, we never came right out and said Milton’s from hell. The idea was to think he had busted out of prison only to learn at the midpoint that he’d escaped from hell. This was the story we sold. It’s also the story we shot. We always figured the audience would get it. But Summit, being in charge of American Distribution and Marketing, believed without hell this was just another “old man revenge movie”. For Comic Con they had created a trailer with a voiceover and big white lettering that said, “HE BUSTED OUT OF HELL”. So the cat had already been let out of the bag, so to speak. Therefore it was decided that we would create an opening that revealed Milton escaping from hell.

This had its challenges. For one, Nic was on another movie. We could not get him back. Two, we didn’t have time to physically shoot it anyway. Three, it would have to be created in a computer by an FX team that already didn’t have enough time to finish the movie.

First off, I’m not against the idea of busting out of hell. Patrick and I debated it before we even started writing. But we had decided to keep it a secret. We could have gone the other way. But revealing it wasn’t in this current design. And design is a big deal. Believe it or not, we try not to just slap a movie together. If we knew we were going to reveal hell from frame one then we would have written it differently. We would have shot it differently. Would have delivered a grand set piece of Nic Cage escaping hell. But in the 11th hour all we could do was with CGI. So we did CGI as best we could.

Millennium also wanted more action in the end. So more FX were added to an FX team that already didn’t have enough time. They also wanted to add more jeopardy with the baby. So a day of baby pick-up shots was added to the schedule.

As soon as the meeting was over, Patrick and I started writing variations of voiceover for Fichtner to Account. We also created pages and pages of ADR lines. And while Patrick fought the good fight on Drive Angry…

…I flew to NY to meet with Team Weinstein, FJ DeSanto (pictured above) and assorted others.

I had never been to NY. After the Weinstein meeting I walked down to ground zero as it’s not too far from their office. It was emotional. I took pictures of the construction but I will not post them.

On the flight back I created a Milton wrap sheet for the bust out of hell opening but it was never used.

On the 15th we closed our Hellraiser deal.

This meant the “verbal” agreement was done. This meant TWC could announce that we were joining forces if they so desired. We made a good deal and we were very excited about our story. They came to us for a remake. We were not the first. We have seen outline after outline that went before us. Some were pretty good. Some were dismal. What we pitched was something off the grid. Waaay outside the box (yes, HR fans, that pun was intended). BUT, I don’t want to tell you anything about our story. I don’t want to say the remake or reboot or sequel. I don’t want to say Pinhead or Doug Bradley. I WANT YOU TO BE SURPRISED!

I will likely fail in my want. But I’m going to remain hopeful. Because I’ve always thought Weinstein marketing was smart and strong.

Meanwhile Patrick landed in Shreveport for a day of pick-up shots with the baby.

The 18th was my ADR. Or Frank’s ADR. This consisted of recording dialog that didn’t record well on the day. It also consisted of “Wild Lines”. Dialog that can play while the character’s back is to camera. Dialog to fill in gaps or blanks. You record sounds. Grunts and orgasms. And then you replace all your wordy dirds with “freak” and “bonehead” and “dummy” for the TV version.

On the same day, the Hellraiser story broke which meant everyone found out Patrick and I were doing it. No one seemed too destroyed by it. While a couple of fan boys threatened suicide, most were excited.

Mel celebrated her birth. We went out to dinner and drank adult drinks.

The Drive Angry release got pushed two weeks in fear of Beiber.

For the annual Halloween party at a neighbor’s house I carved the Jason mask. I won second place and a big cookie. Izzie ate the cookie.

Happy Birthday wendago.com. I have kept an online journal for 10 years. I say “journal” cuz when I got started “blog” and “blogger” were relatively unknown. But I gotta think ten years puts me in a small group. I’ve never made a dime off my goofy site. Started it for me. Not you. I started this site so that I, when old and bald or dead but in ghostly haunty form, could look back and revel in my unawesomeness. So to show respect to meself I am going to play catch up. I got behind after the My Bloody Valentine 3D release and now seems like a fine time to play catch up. So let’s get this underway and bring us to September of 2010.

But first… Trailers. (Special thanks to Edgar @edgarwright Wright for tweeting a couple of these last week.)

If you work in Marketing for the Hollywood machine… please watch this.

So how did we go from the above to the current standard which is defined as “reveal everything”? What is going on? Do we really need to show MOST of the movie before the release? Doesn’t that sort of take the fun out of it?

And even when a nice twist escapes the trailer you nearly always end up with it leaked online. Like in the case of Roger Ebert dropping a GIANT spoiler to the movie SUPER in the front of his review, there’s simply no excuse. Man. I just don’t get it.

So, moving on to SEPTEMBER 2010:

Patrick was fighting to finish the movie. This consisted of editing as well as post music, sound and visual effects. It was also the month to prep screenings because the powers that be naturally wanted to see what they’d paid for. Sadly, the time and energy it takes to stop the train in order to screen a movie can impact the finished product. Perhaps not on a Cameron or Bay movie but when you have a tight budget it can sting a little. This isn’t a jab, it’s a statement of fact and common sense.

As for Hellraiser, we had pitched, Bob said yes. So while Patrick and his team were fighting the good fight on Drive Angry, we were also in the heart of negotiations to write Hellraiser.

And due to the fact that we never went over our Drive Angry budget, we were awarded Skywalker Sound. This was wonderful. I mean no disrespect to other sound shacks but if you aren’t Skywalker Sound you’re sort of meh.

So, we went up North for the temp mix. A temporary version of the movie allows you to get a quick idea how she’s coming together so that adjustments can be made. It’s a temp edit, with temp music and temp sounds. But as far as the suits are concerned the temp mix is for them. They want to see how it’s going.

I GET their logic. If I invested money, you bet I’d want to see the progress. And it certainly protects the investor from a rogue filmmaker. At the same time, I see the drawback, especially if your filmaker isn’t a rogue. And Patrick isn’t rogue. In fact, what he managed to accomplish on the shoestring given is rather impressive. And he did this without ever yelling at the crew. So while I understand the process of the temp mix, I wish we could take the money and time spent in the temp world and feed it into the finished product. Or I wish we’d had access to it back during production. BUT this is simply a part of it.

All that aside, any excuse to go to Skywalker should be taken VERY seriously.

Skywalker Ranch is Disney for workaholic geeks. And Skywalker Sound is simply the best in the biz. Even those who hated My Bloody Valentine would often comment on how great the sound was. I can nearly always hear the difference. First of all, the Skywalker humans are good. These guys and gals aren’t phoning it in. They aren’t punching a time card while thinking about quitting time. There’s real talent at work. I’ve seen it. They can hear things I can’t. I don’t have the ear. I watch them and am fascinated. Second, their droids are the best. The equipment is remarkable. Even the coffee machine in the lobby is fifth rendition R2 unit.

Third, there’s setting. This one Hollywood accountants will likely never understand because a the benefit cannot be measured on a spreadsheet. But when you take a creative out of LA and drop he or she in paradise, watch out. The air is clean. There’s grass and trees and hills. There’s livestock. There’s Jedi. The security team happens to be the fire department. So not only can they pummel you, but they look good with their shirts off. All of this translates to better creativity. LA is stifling. Don’t take my word for it. Ask around.

In the end, all you really need to do is walk down the hall of posters and be blown away. ALL of your favorite movies were mixed there.

There is a strict rule not to take pictures inside the buildings. Oops.

On the way back I stopped and had dinner with Blake and Brenna.

Blake and Brenna started Fridaythe13thfilms.com way back when. I started hanging out at the site while we were working on Jason X. They are no longer involved with the site but we have been friends ever since.

In fact, one year they somehow convinced Mel and I to fly to… Arkansas or some similar State, journey to a youth camp in the middle of nowhere and camp out with a bunch of machete collecting Friday the 13th fans. If you have never experienced 48 hours of drunk with a bunch of Karaoke singing horror fans then perhaps you win.

Mel and I survived the journey. And I even walked away with my Friday the 13th The Website Camp vs. Camp T-shirt which I still wear as one of my favorite pick-up-chicks-at-bars T-shirts. Okay. Maybe it’s not THAT cool.

Izzie Rain and the year of the four. Time sure does speed up when there’s a kid involved. September was roughly six months since we were told that Izzie was autistic. And in that time our team of Jedi had been nothing short of amazing. We had speech therapists, occupational therapists and counselors. Even the gym where Mel and I work out has daycare attendants trained in autistic needs. Granted the private school may have been the weakest link but I’ll come back to that later. What mattered was that Izzie’s progress resulted in the term “high functioning”. Because the goal for everyone is to simply be able to function in our silly world.

The key to all of this is early diagnosis. Look, we’re all screwed up. I’ve met most of you and you people is crazy. BUT, we have all learned to live with our screwedupedness. And that’s the thing. Autism is no more nutty than my own Attention Deficit Disorder or my moments of OCD or my monthly stuggles with being extremely good-looking. BUT, I have learned to live with it. Izzie Rain is learning to live with it. In fact, she’s learning to excel at it.

But please don’t pull that conspiracy crap with me in which you say, “Oh there’s too many “terms”. They have a “term” for everything. All these “categories” mean nothing.” Because you simply don’t know what you don’t know. I have an autistic child and I’m very proud of her. She is loving and kind and pigheaded. She says please and thank you. But then… there are moments that make her slightly different. Unique if you will. And I and her mother couldn’t love her more for this uniqueness.

After only six months I’m in awe. I can’t imagine where her world will be in a year. I look forward to that journey.

And the other happening of note in September was Melanie’s taking the Fall Festival by storm for the St. Angela’s Private School of We Are Slightly Better Than Everyone Else. Mel was part of the Silent Auction and when you compare what was done last year to what Mel accomplished this year, well, they should let Izzie go there for free.

At the end of the month I drove to San Francisco to support the unrated release of Hatchet II. If you are a horror fan and you didn’t go then shame on you. Buy the Blu-ray. Twice. Adam Green’s Hatchet is the only surviving 1980’s slasher franchise in today’s world. I know this because I’ve written a 1980s slasher. And now that Hatchet 3 has the go-ahead the franchise will continue. Ye who call yourself horror, support it.

And that was September. In a couple of days, I’ll tell you about October because by the end of April “10 years of wendago.com” will be caught up!

Before we dive into August let’s talk now. First, my buddy Matt Thompson recently moved to LA and landed his first GIG. Took me 3 years to land my first gig and that was considered fast when the average falls somewhere between ten years and never. Matt has been a friend a reader to me. One of the select few you go to for thoughts before handing a script in and I could not be more proud.

My favorite movie website is Brian Collins’s HORROR MOVIE A DAY. If you are a horror guy or gal and aren’t following this site then you simply aren’t serious about horror. Brian is that guy who walks point in the war. He’s the guy who watches the movies so we don’t have to. You should all go. And then you should thank him. He provides a service. He saves you time and money and sanity. Bless him.

Okay…now for AUGUST!

But first…at the end of July, Bob called Patrick. They played phone tag. We had neither reached out nor heard from TWC since the whole H3D thing went down at the end of ’09. So we were, to say the least, curious.

The little house was working out smashingly. Right up the hill from Mel. Izzie liked it. Mel liked it. I liked it.

On the 3rd of August, Kerri sent me a list of Australian slang. This was to assist as Dean Lorey and I made our pass to “Australian-ize” THUNDER. Aussie slang’s not unlike American slang. Cept they use “cunt” a whole lot more.

I’ve mentioned that F.J. DeSanto and I are writing a comic book. On the 4th we got page 16’s artwork. I love our little story. F.J. has been knocking it out of the park. Federico Dallocchio has been nailing the artwork. And we ended up with the perfect editor in Ben Abernathy. He got it. And his every question either caught our screw ups or made the script better. Really has been a flawless process so far.

BREAKING: Nic Cage is a badass. That is all.

Actually that is not all. In August Patrick continued to feed me cuts of the film. It should be noted that this ONLY happens when your partner is the director…and likes you. And even though it’s no secret we are an all encompassing creative partnership, the suits tend to forget me. At this point all you can do is laugh it off. Patrick will CC me on everything…yet nearly all replies will mysteriously not include me. It’s not just me by the way. I’m a likable enough guy. It’s the writer’s curse. For whatever reason…the folks steering the ship really don’t want us eating at the adult table. You really should consider this before pursuing the field of screenwriting.

But Patrick still loves me and that’s all that matters. As a result I always had access to the film. And I love the fact that I could go to Starbucks with the latest cut of the film on my iPad (Don’t steal my iPad reason number one: It has a passcode you will find annoying. Don’t steal my iPad reason number two: I recently nuked all versions of the film from the little thing). With each viewing the film looks better and better.

Meanwhile in the continuing story of Australian film: Kerri and I talk with our Australian producer about the sudden surge of 3D films. As of August there were 60 3D films scheduled for release over the next two years. And that number just keeps growing. And while new 3D screens are constantly being added…there’s still only a limited number. So if three studios want to release three big movies…with 2000 to 3000 3D screens…well…someone is going to lose. Because so far, 3D still doesn’t have the numbers. Eventually this issue will go away…but for now it’s a real concern.

THEN there’s the simple fact that audiences aren’t stupid. This is a fact studio heads and execs don’t seem to comprehend. Due to a couple of 3D movies that saw amazing success…well…everyone jumped on the wagon. It’s what Hollywood does. Copycat. Kevin wrote SCREAM. It made 100 million and soon everyone was doing self-aware horror. Problem is…not everyone is Kevin. And the ripoffs tend to suck. Same for 3D. Bunch of crap 3D hit the screens. Sales have declined. Some execs are saying the fad is over. The novelty has passed. Morons. Stop making crap and people will go.

Every day in August is a challenge on Drive Angry. But I can’t tell you about it because it would require me to reveal assorted morons and morons do not like to called morons publicly. Needless to say, Patrick goes without much sleep. Daily. Is constantly bombarded. Is constantly having to think his way around obstacles created by people on our team. It is, in my opinion, the WORST part of the Hollywood process. Any other director and we’d be in trouble. But we’ll survive it because of Patrick. We’ll take a hit or two. But we’ll survive it.

Mel and I get a babysitter. What this translates to is, friends. Being a tiny bit human again. And while Mel and I aren’t together, we’re still best friends and business partners. We still NEED to go out and see movies. And we gotta eat.

After a week of phone tag, we finally learn the reason for Bob’s call: HELLRAISER. Well, this will excite and annoy sections of the horror world. We had actually pitched a take of Hellraiser a year ago. Over a year. In fact, we pitched Bob three movies at the same time. H3D, HELLRAISER and SCANNERS. And throughout the whole HELLRAISER discussion, H3D never came up. We still scratch our heads at this, because the script for H3D is just…well…just sitting there. We’re pretty certain Bob never read it. But perhaps August wasn’t the time to ask. Bob was clearly VERY excited about Hellraiser. Plus, Patrick and I love Clive and love the original. With Bob this excited, someone was gonna make it. May sound arrogant but I trust us.

So Patrick and I started talking about our old pitch…and…it changed. It became…hard to describe. It gained a life of its own. As a writer…when the story…or the characters…or both…break out of your head and start doing stuff YOU didn’t see coming. Stuff you DID NOT plan. Well. That’s when the magic truly happens.

On the 8th I get a proposal from Thomas Jane and his lawyer concerning Devil’s Commandos. Recall, Tom and I, in the last few years have had a stormy relationship. We buried the hatchet at comicon. Decided we’d all move forward as partners. But this proposal didn’t strike me as very partner friendly. It was pretty standard. Writer writes, owns nothing. I chat with lawyers and would end up taking the month (and longer) to “consider”.

On the 13th we get an email from one of our agents concerning HELLRAISER. And it made me laugh. A full, deep throated laugh from the diaphragm.

“We spoke to Matt Signer just now. They will be indeed making an offer for you guys to write and Patrick to direct. I told them to be prepared to back the truck up to our office. Matt laughed nervously.”

What would follow was hours of debate between lawyers and agents as well as Patrick and I. Do we trust them? Do we want to follow Drive Angry with Hellraiser? So many questions.

In the end it would come down to Patrick and Bob. They go back. 20 something movies together. They are…family. Always will be. Warts and all. In the end it comes down to the devil you know.

But let me elaborate on that. Because the assumption is that Bob’s the Devil…he ain’t. No more than I am. No more than Patrick is. Because here’s the thing to keep in mind when it comes to Hollywood. We’re all dicks. I’m a dick. Huge dick. We just all have different degrees of dickishness. Millennium is cheap…but they left us alone creatively. It’s the devil we know. We KNOW how to work in their world. And as a result…we’ll do it again. Bob has his own cons. But we KNOW how to work in that world and will continue to work with him. Same goes for Lions Gate. We KNOW how to work in the Lions Gate world and as a result we’ll work there again. But there are some…some we will NEVER work with again. Their dickishness simply doesn’t justify the reward. I’ll likely mention them later. Not now.

Just understand…if you know someone in Hollywood…don’t be fooled by their polite political demeanor. They have either eaten a baby, kicked a puppy, punched an old person or had sex with their best friend’s girl. Twice. It’s the Hollywood way. In Hollywood you don’t bring a knife to a gunfight…you bring a lawyer. And some heroin. Okay, perhaps I under-exaggerate a little. It’s much worse than that.

Nearing the middle of the month, Patrick screens the movie for Dean. I recall it being a crazy night. Dean was on the TV show SOMETHING WILDE which wouldn’t wrap that day until like 9-something. Then he got stuck in traffic due to an animal on the freeway (a duck if memory serves). Seems like it was after 10pm of a VERY long day before we even got started. But Dean loved it. He added a comedic beat which still makes me laugh. And his biggest and pretty much only note was to stay on the FX team.

Started going back and forth with my buddy, Andrew, who has been trying to set up an indy western in New Zealand. He wrote a great western. Although a New Zealander, his dialog is so old west authentic, it’s stunning to read. His producers, of course, didn’t get it. Have been forcing rewrites constantly. Still he outsmarted them and nailed every rewrite. So in reward, they tell him they need a “professional” Hollywood polish. Rrrright. Turns out the producer hires bestest buddy. Not Hollywood but another New Zealander who has zero credits. Does a page one rewrite. When Andrew finds out, accidentally, he says no. I’m out. Producers, who have never paid him a dime, say he can’t pull out. That they can do whatever they want to his script. Sigh. So…he’s fighting. He’ll win but it’ll take time and energy. It don’t matter where you are, writers get the shaft.

Middle of the month I saw Piranha 3D. I just…I just didn’t get it. The 3D was bad. BAD bad. Hurty bad. And while most of my buddies LOVED the ride. Loved the over the top of it…I just…I’m sorry but story and characters first. Either be a spoof or be serous. This kept me in some middle void. Anyway, hate to bag on someone else’s movie, especially when so many of my friends, (BenDavid Grabinski), loved it. But I work in the 3D world. Bad 3D makes my life harder. My annoyance is purely selfish.

Izzie is awesome. She’s not like other kids. We’ve discussed this. In depth. She’s awesomer. I don’t spend enough time with her. I’m out of town ALOT. And when I’m writing…well…writing is a solitary occupation. It’s tough to write when she’s here at the house. Because she wants to play. And as much as I like to write…I like to play more. Hide-n-seek is my favorite. Well, I like to color alot too.

But as I mentioned…back in August and even now…I drive into LA alot. And we have been a one car family since I got rid of the Audi in exchange for the Bugaboo. Mel decided it was time.

So I now have wheels of my own. Now when I head to LA I don’t leave the girls taking the bus (which Izzie loves by the way). It’s not new. It’s an ’07. But here’s the smarty smart part. We’d looked at another Audi and my love for the old gal had not wavered these five years. BUT…by going a little older…and a little cheaper…we could take the money saved and use it to restore Izzie’s car.

First of all, that’s not it. But that’s what it will look like when done. That’s what it looked like when Dean Riesner bought it in ’74. Dean was my mentor when I moved to LA. Dean wrote DIRTY HARRY. Dean wrote PLAY MISTY FOR ME. Dean wrote HIGH PLAINS DRIFT. Dean wrote STARMAN. And Dean gave the old caddy to Noel Cunningham for Noel’s 30th birthday. And I’m getting it from Noel to fix up for Izzie.

Oddly enough, I tend to only use the car for LA trips. I run or walk just about everywhere local.

Last half of the month my writer buddy, Andrew is still fighting his producers. Gets a letter from his agent who can no longer rep him. Agent says she has loyalties to both he and the producer and must therefore stay neutral. Or…in coward-speak, “We don’t wanna piss of the producers so you are on your own.”

By the 30th we’ve received an offer from the Brother’s Weinstein. We countered. Aggressively.

So, August was mostly post on DRIVE ANGRY. The buzz was still going strong. The Trailer was out there on the web and although we were nervous about it, folks seemed to like it. The reason for the nervousness was that the trailer revealed more than we ever intended. We structured the story so that the audience would think, Cage played a character who had escaped from prison. Amber’s characters doesn’t find out the truth until over half way thru the movie. But the trailer stated in big white letters, “He broke out of hell” right off the top. To us that was sort of like watching the trailer for EMPIRE STRIKES BACK to find big white letters proclaiming, “Vader is Luke’s father”. Or “If you build it Kevin Costner’s daddy will play ball with you”. Or “That chick in the CRYING GAME has a penis”. Or “Bruce Willis is dead.” BUT…no one, near as I have seen or heard, has called us out for this. It’s just…we actually take this seriously. Had we intended the audience know that from the start…we would have written it differently. That make sense? Does it work, sure? Is it by design? No. Will that always annoy me. Oh yes, my friend, yes it will. But. It is what it is. Welcome to the life of a hollywood stuntman.

So, while I sit in the safety of Pacific Grove, Patrick fights the daily fight. He’s not like other directors. His crew loves him. He’s nice. Never yells.

And it should be noted that none of this was EVER handed to him. He fought his way to the chair. Edited TV, then for Wes and the Weinsteins. Patrick has been in the trenches. He’s not one of those guys who got some early hype or buzz based on some silly article and suddenly was handed a 200 million dollar movie. Patrick started with whatever he could get. He started with tiny budget and made it look double the value. He has honed his craft. He turned 16 million into 100 million with Valentine. And Drive Angry blows MBV out of the water. He works ALL the time. The story is ALWAYS first. The movie is his MAIN FOCUS. He goes above and beyond because over two-hundred cast and crew put their faith in him. A successful movie means they keep working.

It may sound silly that a guy would actually put his crew’s future needs on his list of motivations. But Patrick does. It’s the reason he doesn’t drink. The reason he wouldn’t drive the Charger for fun. He gets hurt, the production shuts down. The man puts his crew and the movie first. And it shows. Oh we’ve had our challenges. We’ve lost a battle or two. And those losses hurt us. Those in power know it. They know they won…but they also know their win cost the movie. But all movies have their crosses to bear. Regardless, our movie is wonderful. It is a GREAT movie and I’m completely proud of it. All due to a fantastic crew, an amazing cast and a director like no other.

Wow. I am SOOOO behind.

It’s nearly the end of 2010 and I’m still playing catch up. Let’s knock out JULY. As our story left off, I had returned from Australia and was about to move into my little house up the street from Mel.

July 2: Still going back and forth with our Aboriginal Consultant for the Dark Things story. While the content is strong I had some concerns that it will go slower than normal. So Kerri and I discuss taking an existing spec and tweaking it for Australia.

In the meantime, I was packing up my office where I had secretly lived since August of ’09.

July 6: Christa invites Patrick and I to the 2001 Maniacs premiere on the 15th.

I sent Thunder to Kerri and our producer, Mike Lake, as a possible Australian feature.

I started moving into the new place.

July 7: We decided to rewrite Thunder so that it takes place in both Oz and the States. Australian film goes through a government system and in order to take certain bonuses and benefits there are story and location factors to take into consideration. But we can’t to just tell an Aussie story as we’ll need American box office to pay for the production, so we decided to appeal to both. Easier said than done but I is a gooder writer than most. To some degree the model would be Croc Dundee. Aussie story with ‘merican crossover. I talked with Dean about it. He loved the idea.

July 8: Kerri and Mike loved Thunder. I sent WOLFBANE as well.

In the two bedroom house, Izzie ended up with the master bath. Mel suggested the master closet for Izzie’s bed. If you are thinking ‘arry Potter then I’m okay with that. The room would have her work desk and computer desk and book shelves while the walk in closet would be her little fortress of sleep.

Later we would put big fantasy stickers all over the walls. But Izzie LOVED it.

At the end of the day on the 8th we were shown the DRIVE ANGRY trailer to be unveiled at comic-con. It is interesting to pour your heart and soul into something then watch as it is handed to others to market. We cross fingers.

July 11: We added RIDDLE ME THIS to the possible Australian package.

July 13: Patrick read the newly tweaked “THE WANTING” based on a real life ghost story that happened to young Melanie when she was a kid. We would include it along with PARASITE in the Australian package.

My father sent me a piece of artwork for the new place. Of course the package was booby trapped.

Behold the prize. It’s velvet. And it’s lights. It’s art that glows. I think it may be older than me.

July 15: 2001 Maniacs. Christa was fun. Saw so many horror nuts there. Kane, Tyler and Renea, Mike Mendez…and later I learned my buddy Matt Thompson was there but never saw him. And while I don’t think Brian Collins was there but his title sequence was amazing.

Speaking of Brian. Let’s take a moment to talk about HORROR MOVIE A DAY. Brian watches a different horror movie every single day, then he writes a review of it. We’re talking everything from the horros that pulled in a 100 million to the horror that that makes you slightly more stupid for watching. Brian doesn’t hold back or pull punches in his reviews. If you know horror, understand the subtleties and magic of horror then don’t be surprised if you are constantly laughing so hard during the reviews that you cry. I do.

July 16: After hosting my website since 01, Gearworx informed me they would be closing their doors.

So the house was coming along nicely. I was still awaiting delivery of all the LA crap that has been in storage for 5 years. Bed, couches…kitchen stuff…all my Stephen King books…beyond that…I can’t recall.

Mel threw her iPhone in the ocean and switched to the Droid. She took much pride in taking cool photos and having incredible non-AT&T reliable service.

July 18: Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch 1yr.

July 20: I signed four copies of a Certificate of Engament for an adaptation of the video game Heavenly Sword I wrote back in Nov of 09. While I was paid commencement back in 09 and even though I delivered in 09, I was still waiting on delivery payment. (I’m writing this on Dec 8 of 2010…I finally received delivery payment four days ago.)

TWC has been dethroned as the slowest to pay. This is a good thing considering we’re now back in bed with them for the HELLRAISER adventure.

And then all my crap showed up from LA. UGH. Did we really put IKEA furniture in storage for 5 years at 150 bucks a month? Suddenly my particular level of stupid reached an all time high. And I had to leave for Comicon so there would be no time to deal with the mounds and mounds of boxes.

July 21: I cut two full days out of ComicCon. I fly in on Wednesday and fly out Sunday morning and I love it! Next year I might fly in on Thursday and fly out on Saturday.

Comicon highlights. FJ and Irene.

Reactions to Drive Angry are humbling, overwhelming. I meet Bruce Jones. Thomas Jane and I bury the hatchet (of course, it won’t last). Horror writer’s panel. Already covered the con in real time back in July…so will move on.

Back home and off to the movies.

Our Millennium brothers and our old pals and LG planned their box office attack.

The rest of the month was mostly unpacking. Goodwill. Garbage and lots of dusting.

Here we see Dean Lorey in his natural habit. Clear encased Carbonite. We bought this a million years ago during one drunken evening at The Grove. It now sits on my self next to a Skywalker Sound mug, some Play-Doh and a box of condoms.

I found an ancient box stuffed with old D&D books and character sheets. Stacks of campaigns packs. I took a nostalgic moment to mentally hug all the geeks in the world.

The first screenplay I wrote for money.

Finally. I was all moved in. I even had/have a guest iMac for would be visitors with net surfing needs.

I love the new place. Izzie and I can pop out back for evening marshmallows. It’s right up the street from Mel so if either of us have an issue, help is literally a block away.

And that brings July to an end.

It’s December as I write this. The 8th to be exact. Patrick called me at 1:40 Tuesday morning having just locked picture on Drive Angry. It is done. That chapter is complete. At least until press and release. Thanks to all who have hung with us through the ups and the down.

I’ll try to slam thru August, September, October, November and December during the break.

The first two weeks of June find me in Australia. Seems like a dern fool thing to do after being gone for three months but I’m chasing a dream and there’s no time for pleasantries. Initially I thought I’d leave Shreveport for Australia in the early or mid part of the shoot but I’d simply forgotten how a production devours you. Completely. Your mind, body and soul. So after only two weeks at home I caught a fifteen hour flight to the land down under.

Why Australia?

I met Kerri Grisham thru Betsy Rue (my more than naked partner in crime from MBV) and Harry Manfredini (the true voice of Jason Voorhees). Kerri had an idea for a screenplay. Oh bother. Wish I had a dime for every time I heard that. BUT. She had more than just an idea, she had a business plan to get the thing made. And that’s the part that won me over. We bantered back and forth via email for ages and in the end I told her, while I could write the story in my sleep, I was never gonna be able to fake the Australian stuff. So she suggested we go. We’d meet with companies and vendors and fact find and research all in one big bloody Mary pass.

Of course, Patrick and I would co-write the piece. And in a perfect world he’d direct but that woudl depend on schedule. Due to the Drive Angry buzz, we were and still are finding ourselves busier than normal.

So. First things first. Australia is different.

For instance. Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to McDonalds.

Food is bland in Australia. Hate to be a pecker about it but that’s the clearest way to put it. That said, food is better for you. Not as many additives. Not as many spices. Not as much science. Folks on the average are in better shape as a result.

Everyone drives on the wrong side of the road.

And the sky is bigger.

Everything is bigger.

We stayed with Kath and J.A. and Porter the Cat. The cat was not named after Porter Wagoner. And that is likely the wrong spelling. Named after a character Eric Bana played.

Eric Bana’s name came up often. More than often. Hourly. Aussies are very proud of Aussies. While all American television and movies make their way down under, the topics of conversation center on the actors and crew from Australia. And there are many. More than you’d realize. It’s because Americans are…well…I’m not sure if we’re self-centered or if we just don’t care where you’re from. Perhaps a bit of both. I know for me, I don’t care where you are from as long as you can act, hold the camera or adjust the lighting. I personally don’t care what color you are or what what god you call home. Do your job and don’t annoy me. And we’ll get along just fine.

The trip consisted of meetings. Lots and lots of meetings. Enough to wake my sleeping A.D.D. and have it screaming. We had interviews with local Australian media. We met with companies to discuss product placement.

We had several meetings with Village Roadshow (the Warner part has been dropped). We also met with producer, Michael Lake, who has joined forces with us on this great adventure.

I attempted to run while there. But it wasn’t easy. I’m convinced running upside down is bad for you. Suddenly I was using completely different muscles. I felt heavier. And that dog HATED me. He wanted so desperately to eat my spleen. Every day that hole was bigger. I knew that we would eventually meet. And I had made my peace with the coming battle. While it is true I am a dog lover, this little snot was purely of the devil and I planned on kicking his doggie ass. But alas, one day when I ran by, the hole had been filled and my enemy had gone silent. We never met and I fill extremely unfulfilled. As if Return of the Jedi never happened.

So between meetings and running we visited dozens and dozens of locations so that I could simply people watch.

And People are different. At first glance you would think Aussies are a violent, angry bunch. I cuss. It’s a tool in my work and I’m good at it. But I’m a child compared to the average Aussie. Someone pulls out in front of you and it’s, “For fuck’s sake…” and what follows is a rant of epic proportions. You see an old friend and it’s, “Get fucked you fucking slut!” So no. Aussie’s aren’t a violent, angry bunch. They just a rude bunch of loving bastards.

Aussie’s don’t talk the way we think they talk. There’s is no, “Throw another shrimp on the barbie.” Aussie’s don’t use the word “shrimp”. They use prawns. Therefore your stereotyping is based on a lie, rest-of-the-world.

While there though, I did very much enjoy the meat pie.

I did not, however, enjoy the Kangaroo. Kind of chewy.

All in all, the trip was good. Accomplished waaaay more than I ever thought we actually would and even had a moment or two for some down time…albeit, perhaps not the downtime I would have chosen.

You see…Kath and J.A. kept bringing home new and interesting movies to watch. Jason X was, as it has always been…tough for me to watch. But I was reminded how much I really loved both MBV and Messengers II. I was particularly intrigued by the Aussie packaging which included Jensen, Jaime and Kerr on the cover. As it should be, I thought.

The biggest difference that leapt out at me was the pissers. The above pisser is smack dab in the center of a pub filled with drunken men’s men and the women that beat the hell out of them. And yet…it was remarkably clean. You can go into a fancy schmancy restaurant in the States and 9 out of 10 times the men’s restroom floor will be covered in piss, toilet paper and on occasion a big ol’ misplaced dump.

It became an obsession. Everywhere we went I had to visit the potties. And every single time the place was spotless. Please explain to me how the most powerful (and I’m told richest) country on the planet is made up of men who consider pissing on the floor tolerable. Americans are dirty. And not in the good way like the girl who rubs honey on her headlights.

Of course, not everything in Australia is awesome.

Certainly AT&T blows even in Australia and they’re not even there. Even with the international plan, you are essentially still paying AT&T’s rate as well as an inflated charge for daring to leave their coverage in addition to paying the local coverage. A call back to the states or from the states would cost me a couple bucks a minute. Even texts were pricy. I explained to my friend, Dean Lorey, that if he texted me, be aware that each text would cost 50 cents.

And on the business side…I’ve been debating whether or not to bring this up. Hrm. I will be delicate. Kerri’s story contained some indigenous content. The story would deal with Aboriginal legend. And this, in Australia, is VERY political. I could sort of relate because the U.S. took its land from the Indian. Australia took its land from the Aboriginal. In American the Indians were given worthless plots of land to live on together as payment. In Australia, if I understand correctly, the government will give an Aboriginal person a house. In some cases the Aboriginal person can simply stake claim to any house or plot of land. And in some areas Aboriginal children were taken from their families and placed within white homes. The latter is apparently the biggest cause of tension. And to say there’s some tension between white and black is an understatement.

There are hard feelings on both sides of the fence and I really struggled with this. We’re talking about the country the size of America with a population the size of Orange County. Seems like there’s plenty of room. But…none of my business I suppose.

However…in order to tell a story with Aboriginal content we were going to need an Aboriginal Consultant.

I spent considerable time with our consultant and his Aboriginal family. I listened to their stories. I watched them dance. And looked at their art. All very sacred to them. And I have to say, Political land mines aside, I was very intrigued by what I saw and heard. I could feel this turning into an epic little story.

And then it was time to leave.

Warm goodbyes to Kath and J.A. for taking good care of us. And it was off to the airport.

The flight back was longer. There were some issues which resulted in my having to jump to New Zealand. That and I had pounded away some vodka for the initial flight over which resulted in my being unconscious for ten hours. Not the case on the return. I was wedged between two sleepers and far too sober to sleep myself. But…such is the life of a Hollywood playboy.

Eventually I made it home to my little girl and ate some pasta. As mentioned in previous posts, week two into Drive Angry Izzie was diagnosed with Autism. Granted it’s not severe but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been challenges. The great thing is that Momma pulled the team of Jedi together to begin extensive training. And wow could I see a difference. Izzie was advancing leaps and bounds. Her Jedi skills were astounding.

Still, Izzie Rain will never be a “let the wookie win” kind of girl. She’ll be the one to rip the wookie’s limbs off

Which brings me to today in which her momma texted to inform me that Izzie had found a blue permanent marker. When I replied “How bad?” I got crickets. So I walked down the street to a pure OMG moment. Her face, hands and legs were mostly blue. She’d also attacked the carpet with said pen. Nana was scrubbing Izzie and Mel was curled up on the floor attacking the carpet. I took over with Izzie and dunked her in the tub for awhile.

Anyway, that was today. We’re talking about June.

And back in June it was good to be home.

I walked in to find a present from Mark Wheaton. His previous four shorts, which sold via the Kindle, he had self published. I love his writing. I highly recommend you Amazon the book. And then grab all his shorts as they come out. You really can’t go wrong for 99 cents.

On the 16th I registered for Comic Con. Late. Thank you Heather from Pro Registration and Nic Cage for allowing me to name drop.

It was also nice to just sit back down at the computer and start pounding on the keyboard. While there I found an old email from Adam Ward, Drive Angry’s B Camera operator. While in Australia Adam had sent a couple hundred pics from the shoot. This was the first time I had a chance to check them all out.

Looking back thru these old pics reminded me of the journey and how freaking awesome our cast and crew was.

I have praised Nic, Amber Bill and Billy. I’ve praised David Morse and Tom Atkins.

But what about the nameless? And by nameless I mean those who normally don’t get a name in a script. I’d like to think even the smallest part is written with some juice. And it’s true. But the right actor can take a small part and make it stand out. Like Leather Jacket. James Herbert’s attitude and acting had us giving him more lines. More scenes. He goes from henchman to Billy Burke’s sidekick. Christa Campbell, adored by the horror community, is part what I consider one of the most important scenes in the movie and she nails it. Man With Wig. That’s a character you’d lose after you see him. But not in the hands of Kenneth Wayne Bradley. Bryan Massey and Tim Walter were so good they walked away with actual character names rather than Officer #1 and #2. Playing Nic’s daughter, Arianne Martin is so strong in her role that we actually made changes in the story to accommodate. Jamie Teer does more with not a single line of dialog than most actors do yacking nonstop their entire career. I could go on and on and will in later posts but off the top of my head these jumped out.

I’v mentioned producer Craig Perry in the past. Back during MBV’s shoot we were aware of Final Destination shooting in 3D as well. And we were thrilled. We, after all, thought if we both did well then there might be a future to this whole 3D thing. Then we read an interview with Craig in which he said our movie would be a dry heave with nothing but gimmicks. Later I busted his balls about this and he took it like a man. Since then we actually chat quite often. Back in June he asked what I thought of Brian Pearson as a 3D DP. I told him as far as I was concerned Brian was the only 3D DP in the business. Craig hired him for the next Final Destination and I couldn’t be happier.

This is Glenn. Glenn Neufeld is a Visual Effects supergenius. Glenn built the Defiant. Designed, engineered, built. Only the greatest Star Trek vessel ever created. And Glenn is now on our team. One of the Beatles. Overseeing all the VFX love needed to bring Drive Angry screaming into the theaters.

If we jump to the end of August to talk about current events, here’s where we stand. I’ve seen a half dozen cuts and each one gets better and better. The movie is awesome. Currently the glorious Michael Wandmacher is in the process of scoring. I’m heard half the score and love it. Another of the Beatles. I write to his MBV and Piranha soundtracks daily. Drive Angry will soon be added to the mix.

Next month we travel North to Skywalker Ranch to lay in the gnarly sounds that only team Skywalker can produce. It’ll be most of the MBV Skywalker crew back together again. More details on that as we get there.

Three events are worth noting for the end of June.

One, Billy Burke’s CD came in the mail. Billy had gifted Patrick and I three early cuts back during the shoot and I’d made them a permanent part of my rotation. Burke really is the real deal. He was a musician long before he was an actor and it’s clear. Sort of feels like a family thing since the video for Removed was shot in Shreveport. The CD cover was designed by our own assistant editor, Martin Bernfeld (recall Martin loaned me his car at 5am so that I could venture to Memphis to see my baby girl for Easter). Martin is good people. He’s also Danish. Thus, if you haven’t, you should check out Burke’s CD on iTunes or grab a hard copy from CD Baby.

Two…I found the perfect house. Right up the street from Mel and Nana. The previous couple moved out at the end of the month so July would consist of moving and the long ordeal of getting settled. Ah, the exciting rock-n-roll lifestyle of the mundane.

And finally my good friend Dean would be working on the next Mitch Hurwitz (Arrested Development) TV show.

I currently hear from Dean, or at least he attempts to call, every morning and every night. He’s pretty much 7 days a week, 12 plus hour days.

The show is called Running Wilde with Will Arnett and Keri Russell and the buzz on it is great.

Above is a picture of me biting Dean’s head.

So. Wonder how fast I could bang out July? Could I actually get to August before the…end of August?

But not right now. Right now I’m gonna go get a tank of gas, clean my grill and cook some bird.

No one’s gonna take me alive
The time has come to make things right
You and I must fight for our rights
You and I must fight to survive
— Muse